


It Takes One (but two wouldn't be so bad)

by in_anotherlife



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Baby Raven, Clexa, End game Clexa, F/F, F/M, Single Parent AU, Slow Burn, Smut, sorry for the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 21:36:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 53,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7548052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_anotherlife/pseuds/in_anotherlife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raven fic featuring single mother Lexa. Let's try this again shall we?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate everyone's support after my initial posting of this fic and the fallout that ensued after. I hope you all understand that I wrote this fic for me and while many of you disagreed with how I wrote the chapter before this was taken down, I respect what you all had to say and I'm sorry many of you were very disappointed with the way the story panned out but I wish you could have trusted my creative freedom with the fic.
> 
> That being said, I hope you all enjoy and comments will now be moderated.

“Good morning pretty girl,” Lexa calls from her bedroom as she finishes getting ready.

“Good morning!” a chipper voice from the kitchen calls back. Hearing the response makes the brunette smiles at herself as she puts the finishing touches on her makeup. Today was a big day for the 28-year-old brunette, Lexa was up for a promotion at work and if she lands it, it'll change her life immensely, not only for her but for Raven too. Lexa’s life was in no means easy but she wouldn’t trade what she has now for anything in the world.

The sounds of pitter pattering feet in the hall snaps the brunette out of her thoughts. When the sounds of walking stop she turns to find a mess of brunette hair poking out between the door crack and a single brunette eye peeking in.

“You just going to stare or are you gonna come in here?” Lexa says signaling for the girl to come in. The tiny brunette bursts through the door as she tackles the taller girl around her legs.

“You look pretty today mama,” the younger girl says staring up at Lexa with her arms still wrapped around her calves.

“Just today?” Lexa asks.

“Just, always mama!” the girl exclaims as she now moves to try and get onto the bed, “Mama…mama help!” the girl pouts.

“Raven, we don’t have time for monkeying around this morning. Mommy has that big meeting today remember?"

“Yes, Commander, yes!” Raven yells in a mock salute.

“Raven Woods where did you learn that?” Lexa asks with wide eyes.

“I heard Auntie Octavia say it to Uncle Lincoln,” the younger girl says putting her hands in her face as if it would make her invisible to her mother.

“Mommy’s going to have some words with Auntie O later,” Lexa says shaking her head, “but for now we have to finish up your breakfast and get you to pre-school, entiendes?

“Sí mama,” Raven quips running back down the hall towards the kitchen, “Mommy do you want some cereal?” Raven yells but before Lexa can reply and tell her no, Raven yells again, “Mommy I spilled!” and Lexa laughs to herself as she rushes down the hall to help her daughter.

* * *

“Lexa, please take a seat,” Marcus says gesturing towards the chair opposite his desk, “how are you doing? How’s Raven?"

“We’re both doing well sir, thank you for asking,” Lexa replies sitting straight in her chair, hands neatly folded atop her crossed legs.

“Good, good. I’m happy to hear that,” Marcus clears his throat before continuing. “So we both know why you’re here, I was happy to see your name on the shortlist for the open manager position."

“Thank you sir,” Lexa replies a bit of hope in her voice.

“With that being said, I want you to know this,” Lexa’s stomach could already feel her stomach knot itself already knowing the blow to follow, “you’re a hard worker Lexa, you work your butt off, put yourself through school and raise that little girl of yours."

“But…"

“But the partners and I agree that the managerial position requires a lot of time and with everything you’ve got going on, we don’t want this job to hinder your potential. I have no doubt that you can handle this position and do it well but it just requires a bit more attention that I know you are capable of giving at the moment."

Lexa was silent, her eyes fixated on a random photo behind her boss’s head as the words sunk into her brain.

“Lexa…now I know things aren’t easy at home. I understand that you were relying on the money from this promotion and I talked it over with Cage and he’s agreed to increase your hourly wage. I know it isn’t what you were expecting Lexa but I hope you know how valuable you are to us."

Lexa nods listening to the terms of her new wage and shakes Marcus’s hand when he stands to walk her out. When they reach the restaurant’s entrance Lexa turns to shake her boss’s hand, “Thank you sir. I really appreciate the opportunity."

The awaiting sun hits Lexa unexpectedly as she squints her eyes adjusting to the new light. Her breathing begins to increase rapidly as she tries to calm herself down from the conversation that took place just a few minutes prior. Taking a deep breath Lexa whispers to herself that everything was going to be okay as she walks back to her 2013 Subaru, yet another reminder of her financial woes. After her 1996 Honda Accord crapped out on her she didn’t have much of a choice but to cave and get a new, well sort of new car. She couldn’t complain much knowing that she needed a reliable car for Raven and having a car with working A/C didn’t hurt either. It was just hard in times like these.

Lexa took another deep breath before starting the engine. She had a few more hours before her shift at the bar and she figures she can get in some studying done since she doesn’t have class that day. The day could only go up from there she reminds herself as she begins her drive back home. The Bluetooth speaker begins to ring in her car indicating an incoming call, the brunette checks the caller ID and sees that it’s Raven's daycare. An immediate pain rushes through her.

“Indra? What is it, is everything okay?"

_“Hi Lexa, it’s Gustus."_

“Gustus? Where’s Indra? What’s going on?"

_“Lexa it’s nothing to worry about. Indra is with Raven at the hospital."_

“What do you mean she’s at the hospital!” Lexa almost screams as she swerves to the side of the road.

_“She’s over at Silas Memorial but Lexa she’s -"_

That’s all Lexa needed to hear before disconnecting the call and making a quick U-turn towards the hospital. All feelings of anger were immediately gone and replaced by fear. Images of her daughter teased her mind of what happened. She was in no state of mind to be driving with the amount of worry in her mind but Raven was all she had and she was all Raven had in return.

* * *

 

_“Hey babe, I’m home,” Lexa calls into the house setting her keys on the table and gently placing the baby carrier on the ground. She took a quick scan of the house which was in complete disarray. People said becoming mothers would do that to their lives. Lexa notices the overflowing garbage filled to the brim with dirty diapers. She picks up baby Raven and grabs the trash bringing it out back and that’s when she sees the empty garage._

_The brunette rushes back into the house and calls out again, “Costia? Costia are you here?” Lexa puts Raven back into her carrier and walks to their bedroom and immediately goes for the closet. A closet that was once full now lay half-empty with nothing but the brunette’s clothes remaining. The baby begins to cry and Lexa rushes to her aid, her mind still trying to process what was happening. Then she sees it, a note in Costia’s handwriting that was always too sloppy for Lexa’s liking._

_I’m sorry. I couldn’t do this. Please forgive me._  
_\- C_

* * *

 

Lexa pulls into the emergency parking center at the hospital and rushes out towards the glass sliding doors. She scans the waiting room looking for Indra but doesn’t find her. She finds the information desk and her words come tumbling out of her.

“My daughter, I’m looking for my daughter."

“Okay, ma’am what’s her name?"

“Raven. Raven Woods. I’m her mother, Alexandria."

“Yes, okay. Raven is in the back with one of our doctors. The woman who brought her in is back there. If you want to give me a second I can page the back to let you through."

“No I’ll see my daughter now."

“Ma’am I can’t let you back there. It’s already crowded as it is."

“Try and stop me,” Lexa pushes the red button to let herself through to the ER. She’s surrounded by a sea of blue curtains, some pulled shut and some open. She scans the room for Raven or Indra but finds neither. The panic starts to swell again as her heartbeat pounds so loud she swears others can hear it too.

“Raven?” Lexa calls out. “Raven! Where are you?"

“Miss you’re not supposed to be here,” the receptionist says from behind.

“No, I want to see my daughter, now,” Lexa commands catching the attention of a few nurses.

“Miss, there’s only one visitor allowed per patient,” a nurse says stepping in.

“I’m her God damn mother. I don’t give a rat’s ass about your protocol. Now show me where my daughter is!"

“It’s okay. She can stay,” a voice says from behind and Lexa turns to find a very attractive blonde woman with piercing blue eyes looking back at her.

“Hi, I’m Clarke. Are you Raven’s mother? I was just tending to her."

“Yes. I, I’m sorry. I just - I need to see my daughter. Please,” Lexa says her voice sounding less panicked. Clarke waves back to Nurse Niylah and gestures for Lexa to follow.

“She’s just through here,” Clarke says pulling back a curtain. Lexa’s sitting on top of a hospital bed, legs crossed and eating a popsicle, while Indra watches her from her seat. She stands seeing Lexa walk in and Raven squeals with happiness when she sees her mom.

“Hi mama!” Lexa lets out a breath she had no idea she was holding in when Raven greets her. Fighting back tears as she gets a clearer view of Raven she musters up a soft hello in return. Lexa takes a seat on the bed and Raven crawls into her mother’s lap leaning her head against her chest as she continues to eat her popsicle.

“Indra, thank you for being here. Please apologize to Gustus for me. I was rather abrupt on the phone. I’ll take care of Raven the rest of the day. Thank you."

“Of course. She’s a soldier this one,” Indra smiles looking at Raven.

“I’m a Commander like mama!” Raven says rather assertively and Indra just laughs. When Indra leaves, Lexa gently sets Raven down back on the bed before lowering herself down to her daughter’s eye level.

“You’re a piece of work kiddo."

“It was Wicky’s fault…” Raven pouts.

“It’s not about whose fault it is Raven, it’s about being safe. Does that make sense?” Raven nods and Lexa doesn’t miss the quivering lip and glossy eyes.

“Hey, pretty girl…” Lexa says cupping her daughter’s face. “I’m not mad at you okay? I’m just worried. I was so scared but I’m not mad okay?"

“Okay…” the girl replies.

“I love you Raven,” Lexa says kissing her daughter’s cheek.

“Love you too mama,” the younger girl says mimicking her mother’s action and kissing her cheek in return.

“Um Miss Woods?” a voice from the opposite side of the curtain calls out interrupting their laughter.

“Sorry, come in,” Lexa says.

“Miss Woods, I just wanted to brief you on our all star little patient here,” Clarke says shooting Raven a thumbs up.

“Right, of course. Please,” Lexa says gesturing toward the set of chairs next to the bedside. Clarke hesitates at first, she really should make this brief and get back to the pit but there’s something about Lexa’s passion to her daughter that really strikes her.

“First off, your daughter is perfectly okay. Indra explained to me that Raven and one of her playmates -"

“Dumb boy Wicky!” Raven interjects and Lexa shoots her one of those motherly glares that makes the younger girl silence immediately but it only makes Clarke laugh.

“As I was saying, Raven and dumb boy Wicky were swinging one of the swings back and forth. I guess he swung a bit too hard and Raven’s forehead caught the brunt of it."

Lexa must look panicked again because Clarke’s hand is now on her knee tracing soft circles into it. When the blonde realizes what she's doing she retracts her hand and instead shows Lexa copies of Raven’s scans.

“Just to be safe we ran tests to make sure that everything was okay. Everything is clear all she needed was a few stitches,” Clarke finishes.

“Did they hurt?” Lexa asks and Clarke smiles. It was a fairly common question many parents and patients ask.

“We cleaned and numbed the area of her cut before stitching her up. If anything all she felt was a fuzzy numb feeling but no, it didn’t hurt. We gave her a popsicle as a reward, I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Lexa says forcing a smile to her daughter, she was still worried.

“Great, well Raven here is all set to go home. She might feel some pain as the wound heals, you can buy some over-the-counter tylenol for kids and that should help. She’ll need to come back in a few weeks as well to get the stitches removed, I’ve included all of that information in a packet for you."

Lexa stands and Clarke follows suit, “Thank you so much Doctor.”

“It was my pleasure. It’s not everyday you get a spunky four-year-old who can rap ‘Baby Got Back’ to you," Clarke says laughing. The embarrassment hits Lexa like a ton of bricks as she her naturally tanned skin turns a dark shade of red.

“I promise you that isn’t the kind of mother I am,” Lexa says finding the need to defend herself.

“Oh please, there’s no judgement here,” Clarke says. “I’m a Sir Mix A lot fan,” and Lexa snorts at the response. This doctor sure had quite the funny bone and Lexa credits her relaxed state to the doctor’s humor.

“Well thank you, again,” Lexa says to Clarke as she turns to open her arms for Raven to hang on to. The toddler happily places herself in her mother’s arms the exhaustion from that afternoon’s events beginning to take a toll on her.

“Of course,” Clarke smiles before lowering her gaze to Raven, “and you, be careful okay? I’ll see you in a few weeks Raven,” Raven gives Clarke a thumbs up and as the doctor turns to leave she feels a tug at the collar of her lab coat. The toddler grips the white coat tighter pulling the blonde toward her. Clarke turns and feels Raven’s tiny arms pull her in around her neck for an embrace, “Thanks Dr. Clarke,” Raven mumbles into her neck. The action was probably the most adorable thing Clarke’s ever been apart of…except for the fact that her body is almost completely pushed up against the girl’s mother as well.

Her blues eyes meet the green ones directly in front of her and there’s something about them that’s too familiar. Clarke would have to be blind to not see how attractive the other girl is. Despite her frenzied state over her daughter, she’s still absolutely stunning. The blonde racks her mind trying to figure out if she’s seen her somewhere before but the thought is lost on her when she feels Raven move away from her embrace.

“I’ll see you soon, okay kid?” Clarke says pulling back the curtains allowing for Lexa and Raven to move past.

“Thanks again,” Lexa says heading towards the exit. The family of two were halfway through the parking lot when Clarke comes running after them.

“Miss Woods! Miss Woods!” she huffs trying to catch her breath.

“Oh did we forget something?” Lexa asks.

“Oh no…I just, I wanted to give you my card incase you needed anything,” Clarke says. “I mean if you have any questions about Raven or the injury,” Clarke hands over her card and Lexa graciously accepts it.

“Thank you, that means a lot. Saves me from the horrors of googling her injury,” Lexa laughs and Clarke swears she could fall in love with the sound of that laugh.

“You’re an amazing mother,” Clarke blurts out before she realizes what she’s saying.

“Oh, thank you,” Lexa says her cheeks beginning to tint with a shade of red.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke says. “I just see a lot of parents and the way you are with her is just…” suddenly Clarke’s at a loss for words so Lexa decides to take a stab at it, “…Amazing?” and both girls laugh.

“Yes…amazing,” Clarke repeats. The two girls stand awkwardly in the middle of the parking lot, neither girl breaking the silence or making a move to leave. It’s only when a soft snore coming from the sleeping toddler creeps its way into the silence that Clarke realizes she has to get back to work.

“I should get…” and Lexa nods following her initiative, “Yeah of course. We should…"

“Right! I’ll see you soon!” Clarke says her cheery demeanor returning.

“What?” Lexa asks confused at Clarke’s statement and then it hits her, “Oh right, of course for the stitches! Yes, we’ll see you soon."

Lexa reaches her car and sets Raven in her carseat, careful not to wake her. She buckles her in and places Raven’s stuffed otter under one of her arms. She knows the girl will look for it when she wakes. Shutting the door quietly, Lexa leans against the car, her head in her hands as she takes a few deep breaths. Lexa was relieved that Raven’s accident was minor but it still scared her. She was thankful for Clarke and what she did for Raven, she knows it’s her job but there was something about the way she cared for Raven that honestly made her heart melt.

The brunette grabs the card out of her back pocket and sees the generic business card format but when she turns it over she finds Clarke’s handwriting (which was neat for a doctor) along with a phone number that wasn’t the main hospital’s.

 _Here’s my cell, call me anytime._  
_\- Clarke_

 


	2. II

Lexa drove way below the speed limit after leaving the hospital. Not that she wasn’t always careful but given Raven’s fragile state, the last thing the young mother wanted was to agitate her daughter in anyway possible. The car clock catches her eye and Lexa realizes she hasn’t called Octavia yet to let her know she won’t be in for work that night. Taking a deep breath to prepare herself for their conversation, Lexa speaks to the bluetooth system to call Octavia.

 _“You better not be calling to tell me you’re not coming in you asshole,”_ a voice greets her.

“Language Octavia. I have Raven in the car."

 _“Raven? But you have work! Lexa I really needed the night off…”_ Octavia whines.

“Octavia, I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t ask this if it weren’t necessary. Raven was in the hospital. We’re on our way home now,” Lexa says trying to keep her voice as calm as possible.

_“Hospital? Lexa what happened? Seriously, are you okay? Is she okay? Don’t worry about coming in. Better yet I can have Lincoln take my shift and I can come over. Whatever you girls need. Are you hungry?"_

Lexa smiles as Octavia continues to ramble. Like Lexa, Octavia didn’t necessarily have it easy either but the girl was always willing to drop anything for Lexa and Raven. They were family.

“O relax. It’s okay. I just need you to cover my shift. I’m almost home now and need to get Raven inside. I’ll fill you in later okay?"

_“Of course, but Lexa, is she okay?"_

“I assure you that your god daughter is in perfect condition,” Lexa says and Octavia can sense the smile in her voice from the other end.

_“Thanks Commander, Lincoln’s home so if you need anything just give him a call."_

“Oh and Octavia?” Lexa’s voice becoming smug. “You’re going to pay for teaching Raven to call me Commander. Goodbye,” Lexa ends the call and chuckles imagining the expression Octavia must have on her face at that moment. The brunette pulls into her parking spot around the back of her apartment and quickly makes her way around the car to unbuckle her daughter and bring her inside. Raven doesn’t stir and Lexa realizes she didn’t get to nap that day but when her daughter’s forehead rests against her skin she feels a slight fever and she panics.

Lexa stands in the elevator anxiously tapping her foot as the elevator dings every few seconds, a trip to the fourth floor never seemed so long in her life before until today. She presses her lips to Raven’s forehead as the elevator stops and the warmth only seems to be increasing. The brunette quickly makes her way into her apartment and gently places Raven on the couch, placing a few cushions around her to prevent her from falling. The brunette positions herself on the floor in front of her daughter with her laptop as she googles fever symptoms from head injuries. She’s not even halfway through the search results when she slams her laptop shut and reaches for the business card in her back pocket.

The phone rings twice before she answers and from the sounds of it she was mid-chew

_“Clarke Griffin,"_

“Dr. Griffin, I’m sorry to call it’s Lexa. I’m sorry am I interrupting you?”

_“Not at all Lexa, I’m actually on my way home. Is everything okay? How’s Raven? And please call me Clarke."_

“I don’t…I don’t know. She has a fever and it’s just getting hotter and she’s still sleeping. Clarke I don’t -"

_“Where are you?"_

“What?"

_“Lexa where are you?"_

Under normal circumstances Lexa wouldn’t have caved so easily but the only thing on her mind right now is Raven, “I live in the yellow brick building across the street from Grounders Cafe on Ark Drive, apartment 402"

_“Great I live right by there. I’ll be there in five minutes."_

The line goes dead and Lexa’s green eyes carry back over to her daughter who has changed positions on the couch. She hovers over her, tucking the curly strands of brown hair behind her ear. The apartment buzzer goes off and Lexa quickly moves to the intercom to buzz whoever it is up, not bothering to even ask. In a few short minutes there’s a soft knock on the door and Lexa’s still completely entranced by Raven she doesn’t even look to see who it is. So when the attractive blonde doctor holding pizza and a six pack of beer appears in her doorway, Lexa is completely taken back.

“I hope this is okay,” Clarke says raising the six pack.

“Of course, I’m sorry to have made you come here,” Lexa says grabbing the beer and pizza from Clarke, their hands momentarily brushing up against one another.

“I don’t mind at all,” Clarke smiles walking across the threshold and taking off her coat to reveal a grey tank top showing off her slightly tanned shoulders with freckles decorating her skin like constellations and Lexa finds herself unable to look away.

“So where’s the patient?” Clarke asks her back still to Lexa.

“She’s on the couch, she hasn’t woken up yet but she’s been fidgeting so I take that as a good sign?” Lexa asks the desperateness in her voice isn’t missed.

“Yes, a very good sign Lexa,” Clarke says grabbing something from her bag before checking up on Raven. Lexa opens her mouth to question what she’s doing but when she gets closer she finds the blonde placing her monkey covered stethoscope over Raven, “She sounds good. Breathing is normal, heart rate is normal."

“Her fever?” Lexa asks anxiously pacing back and forth.

“Her fever is normal. It’s perfectly normal for people with any injury to have some sort of fever but she isn’t sweating bullets so it’ll probably go away when she wakes. Did she take any children’s tylenol?” Clarke asks her finger subconsciously tracing circle patterns on Raven’s arm.

“I knew I forgot something…” Lexa says furrowing her brow and internally beating herself up for it. “I was in such a hurry to get her home…I completely -"

“Lexa…Hey Lexa,” Clarke is suddenly in front of the other girl, her hands holding onto Lexa’s wrists trying to calm her down. “It’s okay, it happens. Lucky for you I brought some just incase. When Raven wakes up we can give it to her, okay?"

Green eyes meet blue ones again and Lexa’s thankful Clarke can’t hear the rate her heart’s beating as the girls share a comfortable silence.

“So pizza?” Clarke asks.

“Pizza,” Lexa nods as she grabs two plates from the kitchen. “So Clarke I have to ask, what made you bring pizza and beer over? A bit presumptuous don’t you think?” Lexa teases, something Clarke wasn’t used to given her previous frantic behavior.

“Oh…Oh wow I’m an idiot. Lexa I’m so sorry. I can just, here have a few slices and let me get out of your hair,” Clarke says her cheeks flushed red as she tries to gather her belongings.

“Clarke. I was kidding. Please, stay."

A wave of relief courses through the doctor as she takes a seat across the brunette as she tries to come up with what to say next, “I just…"

“Clarke you really don’t need to explain, I was kidding,” Lexa smiles waving the girl off.

“No, please. I just knew how panicked you were and I figured you hadn’t eaten and I know I didn’t have anything eat so…I’m sorry…I won’t do it again,” Clarke mumbles looking at her slice of pizza.

“Do you plan on making this a habit Clarke?” Lexa says with a hint of seduction to it causing the blonde to choke on the food in her mouth. There’s no denying that Lexa is incredibly attractive but Clarke knows it could be crossing all sorts of lines of appropriateness but then again Clarke was never one to stay between the lines.

“Depends,” Clarke provokes.

“On?"

“On if it’ll be you or Raven needing me next time,” and the reply sends all sorts of jolts through Lexa as she takes a big gulp of her beer.

“Touché Dr. Griffin,” Lexa toasts.

* * *

Clarke expected the rest of their meal to be awkward given having just met the other girl but there was something about Lexa’s presence that immediately calmed her. It reminded her of her father. The way he carried himself and spoke. Very thought provoking yet sweet, everything the girl did or said had such purpose to it. Lexa moves to clean up and Clarke takes the opportunity to check on Raven. The girl seems okay, drooling a bit, but okay. The blonde takes a seat on the armchair next to the sofa, her eyes roaming the walls of the well-sized living room.

Photos of Raven’s childhood hang on the walls almost as if it were a timeline and Clarke notices a common theme. A lack of another parent, which Clarke didn’t have a problem with but Lexa was so young and the doctor’s desire to know more about the her only grew even more. One photo stands out to the doctor in particular and she stands to get a better glimpse. It’s a side shot of what looks like an even younger Lexa, her hair intricately braided while she has a baby Raven raised above her arms spread out like she’s flying and both girls are mid-laugh.

“She was about a year and a half there,” Lexa says watching Clarke admire the photo.

“She’s beautiful,” Clarke says. You’re beautiful is what she really wants to say.

“She’s my world,” Clarke turns to find Lexa looking down at her daughter who has started to fuss. Lexa slowly rubs the girl’s stomach whispering for her to wake up. Wide brown eyes meet green ones and younger girl jumps up from the couch and into her mother’s arms.

“Good morning pretty girl,” Lexa murmurs and if Lexa looked up even a bit she’d find Clarke doe-eyed with a grin on her face watching the girls.

“It’s not morning Mama,” Raven says.

“Might as well be. We have a guest Raven,” Lexa says angling herself for the younger girl to see the doctor.

“DR. CLARKE!” Raven screeches, arms now outstretched wanting the other girl to hold her.

Clarke happily accepts the loving gesture and wraps her arms around the girl to hold her, “Well hello my favorite patient."

“Why are you here?”

“Raven don’t be rude…” Lexa scolds.

“Okay…Why are you here _please_?” Raven asks again and Clarke laughs.

“Well I just came to make sure you were feeling okay. You gave your mom quite the scare did you -"

“Is that pizza?” Raven interrupts eyes now focused on the remaining slices on the table.

“Raven Octavia Woods please don’t interrupt people when they’re speaking,” Lexa says shaking her head the embarrassment creeping up on her.

“I’m sorry Mama. My tummy’s making funny noises,” she pouts and before Lexa can speak up Clarke talks instead, “I brought some pizza, would you like a slice?"

“Yes, please Dr. Clarke!” Raven says shimmying out of the girl’s hold and running toward the kitchen table.

“I’m sorry, she’s not normally like this,” Lexa says.

“Lexa your daughter is perfectly well-mannered. A bit loud, but well-mannered,” Clarke laughs. “And I’d say she’s probably feeling a lot better which is a very good sign."

Lexa watches her daughter with nothing but a proud smile on her face as she attempts to grab a slice for herself that’s situated too centered on the table for her to reach. Clarke beats her to it and slides the plate closer and Raven shoots her a thumbs up in reply.

“Hey how’s your head feel kiddo?” Lexa asks as Raven devours her first slice of pizza.

“Hot,” she replies taking another bite of her meal.

“Does it hurt?” Clarke asks her face going from casual to professional in a matter of seconds.

“Just a little, it’s itchy,” Raven says with a look of disgust as she take a green pepper off her pizza. Lexa watches Clarke as she assesses Lexa’s symptoms.

“Well I know just the cure for that,” Clarke says reaching into her bag for the liquid tylenol, “Lexa just give her a teaspoon of this before bed and she should be good to go. I can change her bandage and put a little cream on there for the itching but not too much. I want the wound to stay clean."

“Thank you Clarke,” Lexa says, their hands meeting again after grabbing the medicine from the girl.

“The fever will die down, it doesn’t seem to have gone up anymore. I would however suggest her eating some ice cream,” the blue eyes shining at the mention of ice cream.

“ICE CREAM?” Raven says standing on her chair. “Mommy my doctor said I need to eat ice cream!” the girl’s excitement was too adorable for Lexa to say no to and Clarke mouths a quick sorry at her followed by a smirk and wink to Raven that Lexa did not miss.

“How about we go after dinner?” Lexa suggests and she must have spoken too soon because Raven shoves the rest of her dinner in her mouth.

“Now?” Raven asks as pieces of pizza fall from her mouth. Lexa rolls her eyes and nods. Raven fist pumps in the air as she jumps down from her chair, she grabs her mother’s hand in her left and Clarke’s in her right pulling both girls towards the door. Raven drops her mom’s hand to open the door as the two women above look at each other with big grins on their faces.

“You don’t have to,” Lexa says enjoying her daughter struggling to get the door unlocked.

“I want to,” Clarke blushes. “If that’s okay with you of course."

“I believe my daughter wants you there. Whatever Raven wants, she gets today,” Lexa says green eyes smiling as bright as her smile.

“And what about you Lexa, what is it you want?” There’s something in Clarke’s eyes that takes Lexa out of her element and into a feeling she’s all too familiar with. One of uncertainty and one of endless opportunities.

“I’d like a chocolate-dipped vanilla cone Clarke,” Lexa teases and the blonde’s smile quickly turns into a frown followed by a small but forced smile.

“Well lets you girls some ice cream then shall we?” Clarke says breaking their gaze and finally helping Raven with the door.

The walk to the ice cream shop isn’t far from Lexa’s home, a solid two block walk that was mainly spent with Raven rattling off about dumb boy Wicky and Clarke teasing her saying that maybe Wick had a crush on her. The young girl stuck her tongue out in response before mentioning something about cooties.

The girl’s find a table outside, Clarke offers to pay but Lexa holds her hand up and insists on paying since Clarke did technically bring them dinner, “Raven, your usual?” Lexa asks.

“Yes Commander yes!” Lexa says with a devilish grin. “But with EXTRA sprinkles this time…please!” the girl replies flashing her mother the million dollar smile that gets her every time.

“And Clarke, what would you like?"

“Surprise me…Commander,” Clarke gives her a wink that can easily be misconstrued as flirty but regardless of what it was it brought a light shade of red to Lexa’s cheeks that Clarke mentally notes to make happen again.

“As you wish girls, I’ll be back.”

Lexa quickly places her order and waits by the pick-up window. She scrolls through her phone sending Octavia a quick update letting her know that Raven was okay. The line for orders slowly begins to move and Lexa watches the blonde interact with her daughter. Under normal circumstances she probably wouldn’t trust a new found friend, was Clarke even a friend? But that was besides the point. Clarke’s a doctor, a very attractive doctor, who made a special house call with food, Lexa notes, just to check on her daughter. That in itself said loads to her.

Lexa shakes her head as some not so pure thoughts invade her head of Clarke. I don’t even know if she’s into girls. Cool it Woods. Her order is called and she somehow manages to balance all three orders in two hands as she makes her way back to Clarke and Raven.

“Thanks mama!” Raven says grabbing her hot fudge sundae with extra sprinkles.

“You’re welcome kid,” Lexa says placing a soft kiss on the girl’s hair. “And for Clarke…Superman ice cream."

Clarke’s puzzled for a second, taking in the swirl of primary colors on her waffle cone when Lexa explains, “Thanks for saving our day.” _GOD LEXA THAT WAS SO FUCKING CORNY._ Thankfully Clarke smiles as she graciously accepts her cone and showing it to Raven.

The adults partake in some conversation with Raven who despite her head injury is informed she will be going to school the next day. Their conversation is interrupted when another girl about Raven’s age walks up to say hello. It was Echo, one of Raven’s classmates, who wanted to show Raven her new puppy. Lexa agrees telling the girl she needs to say within sight and Echo’s parents come by to assure her they’d just be a few tables over.

“You’re amazing with her,” Clarke says taking a bite of her cone.

“You seem to be saying that a lot today,” Clarke blushes. “I can’t thank you enough Clarke."

“I was just doing my job."

“If you were just doing your job you would’ve gone home the second you knew Raven was okay the first time. Actually, I can’t imagine any doctor making house calls to be honest."

“I’m not most doctors."

While some would be overwhelmed by Clarke’s quick responses Lexa welcomes them. She likes that Clarke seems to keep her on her toes.

“Do you make house calls for all your patients?” Lexa asks very subtly scooting closer to Clarke to hear her better as the chattering of over guests starts to get louder.

“Only the ones with cute kids and even cuter moms,” Clarke says absentmindedly and she almost regrets it. Keyword: almost.

Lexa’s happy Raven is out of earshot because she’s certain she’d be teased by her daughter relentlessly if she heard what she said next, “Well for the record Clarke,” the she says her name makes the blonde’s stomach do flips, “I don’t mind cute doctors showing up at my house either,” Raven chooses this particular moment to return and the women who weren’t sitting too close together spring apart.

  
The walk back to Lexa’s apartment seems shorter than the walk to the ice cream shop and both girls were dreading having to say goodbye. After an incredibly long day for both of them, there was something about each other’s presence that seemed to keep the rest of the world at bay. For a few hours they were just two girls, no patients to deal with, no patrons needing drinks.

“Well this is us,” Lexa says pointing to her building.

“It was nice to see you so soon again Lexa,” Clarke says and after a not so subtle clearing of her throat, the blonde redirects her attention to Raven. “It was even better getting to see you again Raven."

“Thanks Dr. Clarke,” Raven says hugging the girl mid-calf. Lexa takes in the image, wishing she could save it forever. Raven’s never taken to someone new so easily the way she has with Clarke. It could possibly be because she did give her a popsicle earlier or…Well it could be something else too.

Clarke directs her attention back to Lexa and extends her hand to shake. Hesitant at first, Lexa accepts and notices how soft the girl’s hands are, “Call me if you need anything,” Clarke says but her eyes are saying call me even if it isn’t Raven related. The notion wasn't hard to miss. Clarke makes her way to her car and waves at Lexa and Raven waiting on their stoop for the girl to get to her car safely. Only heading inside once the girl pulls away.

“Mama?"

“Yeah pretty girl?"

“I like her, she’s fun Mama,” Raven says trying to stifle a yawn.

“Mhm…I like her too baby girl."

* * *

The next day Lexa wakes up before her alarm even goes off, a ritual she’s grown far too accustomed to. She rolls over and jumps back slightly at the sight of her daughter sleeping soundly beside her. She must have crawled into bed with her at some point in the middle of the night, not that Lexa minded much.

The older Woods girl does her best to silently creep out of bed, draping a blanket over her snoring daughter before taking a quick shower. When she exits she’s happy to find Raven hasn’t moved a bit. Lexa quickly changes into a comfortable pair of black yoga pants and a plain black v-neck, grabbing her phone as she makes her way into the kitchen.

It was Thursday which meant she didn’t have to work, but it also meant a full day of classes. She grabs the griddle and heats it up, taking the leftover pancake batter she had in the fridge out as well. She pours her first two pancakes when her phone goes off and to no surprise it’s Octavia.

“Good morning O."

“Well you’re chipper this morning and are those your pancakes I smell?"

“Sneaking into my home again are we?"

Lexa hears some commotion at her front door and she doesn’t even bother to check knowing that any second Octavia will be walking through the door.

“It’s not called sneaking if I have a key,” Octavia says handing Lexa her coffee with a quick kiss on the cheek.

“You’re lucky you brought coffee…"

“I wouldn’t dare show up without it Commander,” Octavia teases cause Lexa to mess up a pancake mid-flip.

“Dammit O…You can’t say that around my kid,” Lexa says her brow furrowed. Octavia laughs, “Oh come on, it’s a funny nickname!"

“Funny or not, I don’t want or need to explain to my four-year-old why her mommy gets called Commander."

“Speaking of which where is that god daughter of mine?"

“Asleep in my room. Breakfast’s almost done if you -“ but Octavia was already halfway down the hall going to surprise Raven, Lexa figures out by the loud shriek of Raven’s voice.

“AUNTIE OCTAVIA! MOM DID YOU KNOW AUNTIE OCTAVIA IS HERE?” Lexa turns to see Raven sitting on Octavia’s shoulders. Lexa had to admit seeing Octavia so comfortable with Raven or any child for that matter was something she never thought she’d see.

Octavia and Lexa were high school best friends, the two broody brunettes often kept to themselves and their small group of friends. Both girls grew up with the odds stacked against them but it never deterred them from working for what they wanted. And while Lexa was quiet and organized, Octavia was messy and loud. They were a perfect balance that even T. Swift and Karlie Kloss would be jealous of, so when Raven came along there was no doubt as to who would be her god mother.

The girls sit down for breakfast, all three over eating their weight in pancakes but Lexa was just too good of a cook.

“So Bellamy told me he saw you out last night,” Octavia says.

“Uncle Bellamy?” Raven asks her voice hoping he’d make an appearance.

“Yep. He was on a date right by that favorite ice cream shop of yours…” Octavia says and Lexa knows where she’s going with this. “He said it looked like your Mama was on a date last night too…"

Lexa’s cheeks are burning, “Octavia…” she grits.

“Now, now Lexa. I’m telling Raven a story,” Octavia winks. “Uncle Bellamy said he saw your mommy with a very pretty blonde girl."

“That’s Dr. Clarke!” Raven exclaims excited to be included in what clearly is an adult conversation.

“Oh she’s a doctor now is she?” and Raven nods her head too fast for her own good.

“Dr. Griffin was the one who helped stitch Raven up yesterday. That’s all,” Lexa says trying to end the conversation but knowing Octavia it wasn’t over.

“Do you take all your doctors to ice cream?"

“Mama doesn’t but Dr. Clarke doesn’t always make house calls either,” Lexa’s eyes widen hearing her daughter’s reply and her expression read only one word. Busted. Octavia’s laughing even though she’s trying her best to contain it and Raven doesn’t understand what’s going on so she takes this as an opportunity to completely douse her pancakes in syrup, knowing her mother would stop her if she was paying attention.

“O…I swear…"

“Oh you’re going to owe me big time Woods. I covered your closing shift and didn’t make nearly enough in tips,” Lexa nods. “But there is something different about you. I can’t explain what…but it’s a good different."

“Dr. Clarke’s not different Auntie O!” Raven interjects.

“Different doesn’t always mean bad sweetheart,” Octavia says redirecting her attention to the toddler.

Different definitely doesn’t mean bad and that’s when Lexa knew she was screwed.


	3. III

It’s been three days since the doctor has seen or heard from Lexa Woods. Not that she was counting or anything.

“Earth to Princess, you in there?” Clarke feels something hit her face and when she looks down she finds a few cotton balls on the ground.

“Really?” she asks.

“Yes, really Princess. Where’s you’re head at today?” the tall slender woman sitting across from her asks.

Clarke tries to play off her mood as best she could but she knew it wouldn’t fool her best friend, “You’re delusional Anya. You’re just trying to get in my head so you can take my surgery today but let me tell ya, not gonna happen!” Clarke teases.

Anya and Clarke have known each other since undergrad when they met at a freshman orientation icebreaker meeting. As usual, Clarke was flocked by a group of guys but when Anya entered the room all eyes were on her. Clarke’s competitive nature kicked in, something Anya picked up on rather quickly and by the end of the night the girls were laughing at the stupid pick-up lines each guy had dropped for both of them.

“Well if you’re going to be in surgery today, I suggest you clear your head and study up,” Anya says throwing a stack of papers your way. Clarke knows the other girl is right but for some reason she couldn’t get the image of Lexa and Raven out of her head.

“I’m going for a walk,” the blonde declares.

“Before surgery?” Anya asks rather surprised.

“It’s not for a few hours, plus I’m hungry. Page me if you need anything,” Clarke goes to hang her lab coat and quickly swaps her scrubs for a comfortable pair of yoga pants and a baggy t-shirt. When she steps outside of the hospital she takes a deep breath, filling her lungs with the fresh air, she always loved that first breath of air after leaving the hospital. Being cooped up in a hospital day did have its side effects, one of them being fresh air, so whenever she had an opportunity to get out Clarke took it.

Checking her watch she saw she had at least an hour before having to be back so she decided to stay close by and head to her favorite bakery a just a few blocks south.

“Hey Dr. Griffin, your usual?” Clarke smiles at the guy behind the counter, she’s been coming to The Ark since her resident years at the hospital and she has yet been able to convince them to call her Clarke.

“Yes please!” Clarke smiles. “Throw in an extra shot too if you can, I’ve got surgery this afternoon,” with a nod the barista rings her up and moves down the country to get started on her coffee.

Clarke takes her usual seat in front of the main window, her body relaxes into the plush armchair while plops her feet up onto the window sill. She’s scrolling through her phone when the barista calls her name indicating her order’s ready. Clarke drops a few bills into tip jar and resumes her previous position in her seat. She takes a bite of her blueberry muffin and goes back to scrolling through her social media sites when she hears a sweet familiar voice.

“Auntie Octavia, I don’t care! He started it!” Clarke looks up to find the source of the voice and sure enough it’s Raven with a pout she’d recognize anywhere.

“Raven, I don’t care if he started it, you shouldn’t have been the one to end it. I swear you’re like your mom more and more each day, it’s scary,” the woman she’s with says.

“Mommy’s only scary when she hasn’t had her coffee…” Raven murmurs and Clarke chuckles a bit too loudly because it catches the attention of the girl Raven’s with.

“Dr. Clarke!” Raven squeals rushing over to greet the girl.

“Raven, come back!” Octavia runs after her and immediately is taken back when she sees the toddler hugging the blonde girl.

“Auntie O, this is Dr. Clarke! She fixed my head!"

“Ah I see. Dr. Clarke was it?” Octavia extending her hand.

“Dr. Griffin actually, but please just call me Clarke,” the doctor replies.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” the girl says. “I’m Octavia, this little troublemaker’s godmother."

“Of course! Lexa mentioned you the other night,” Clarke beams.

Octavia raises her brow and a devious grin forms. Before she can say anything else Clarke’s pager goes off and she sighs realizing her break is going to be cut short.

“Sorry, duty calls,” she says going to gather her things. “It was lovely to meet you Octavia. Raven,” Clarke says crouching down to meet the girl’s eye level, “You come see me soon okay? Those stitches will be ready to come out in a few days, make sure your mom calls me."

“Will do Dr. Clarke!” Raven salutes and she gives the doctor a quick hug before she leaves.

“So that’s Dr. Clarke huh?” Octavia says taking a seat and helping Raven up as well.

“Yup! She’s so nice,” Raven says taking a bite out of her cookie, crumbs falling everywhere.

“She’s hot,” Octavia replies.

“Auntie O, you’re dating Uncle Lincoln remember?” Raven shakes her head.

“Don’t mean she’s not hot."

“Do you think mama thinks she’s hot?” Raven asks her tone quite serious for a four-year-old.

Octavia knows the answer immediately but when she sees Clarke cross the street and she gets a good look of her in those yoga pants she knows for sure, “Oh yeah, definitely kid."

* * *

The bar is pretty busy for a Monday night, it’s summer which means there aren’t stupid college kids drinking their weight in cheap beer but for some reason it was extra crowded. Lucky for Lexa majority of the people sitting at the bar are regulars and she doesn’t have to deal firsthand with the other customers. The brunette goes to refill a few beers for Bellamy and his friends down the bar, he gives her his signature wink as a thanks to which she flips him off.

“Careful Commander, that might hurt your tips,” Lexa turns to find Octavia jumping over the bar. She pours two shots and slides one down to Lexa, they clink glasses and down the shot. Lexa winces, not really being a big drinker but Octavia takes it with ease.

“How’s my girl?” Lexa asks as Octavia starts taking orders.

“I’m doing well thanks for asking,” she teases but the death glare Lexa gives her makes her rethink her next statement. “She’s good. Dropped her off at my mom’s actually."

“Your mom’s? Octavia that wasn’t the plan!” Lexa says starting to panic. Octavia pulls her to the side and motioning to their customers that she’d be right back.

“Lexa, I don’t think you know this but you’re extremely uptight."

The taller girl rolls her eyes but beckons for Octavia to continue.

“You need a night out. Look, you don’t have class tomorrow, you don’t work at the restaurant until night shift either so let yourself have fun. As your best friend and basically sister, I’m demanding you a night you. Plus my mom was more than happy to have Raven since she’s you know all empty nesting and crap since I’ve moved in with Linc."

Lexa tries really hard to be mad at her best friend, but she can’t. She knows she’s right and with finals coming up in two weeks and graduation being next semester, Lexa could use a girl’s night.

“Is it really a girl’s night if we’re working?"

Octavia claps her hands in celebration, “Well the bar closes in three hours and I convinced Lincoln to take over for us an hour before close."

“You were so sure I was going to say yes, weren’t you?"

“Some things you just know, you know?” Octavia teases before returning to her now frustrated customers. “Oh calm down Murphy, here’s your damn cheap beer!” Octavia says and Lexa just laughs. She was really lucky to have Octavia.

The crowd thins out by 10:30 and the girls are entertain themselves by throwing peanuts at each other trying to see who can catch the most in their mouth. Their regulars laugh and cheer them on and had the girls been paying attention, they would have seen none other than Clarke Griffin herself walk into the bar and take a seat at a booth facing the bar.

“Holy shit, O make me a drink a girl would like!” Bellamy says interrupting whatever his sister is doing. Lexa rolls her eyes at the older Blake as she goes back to taking orders down at her end of the bar.

“Bellamy, seriously?” her brother nods his head as he points over to the familiar blonde across the bar. Octavia smirks as she makes a martini and hands it over to her brother. Oh this is going to be good.

Bellamy runs his hand through his floppy hair and straightens up before walking over to the blonde.

“Hi there,” he says.

“Hi,” Clarke replies before turning back to her friends.

“I’m Bellamy, I bought you this,” he says setting the martini down.

Clarke smiles, “Thank you Bellamy that’s rather sweet of you but see I’m a whiskey girl."

“Whiskey huh? I like a girl who likes whiskey,” Bellamy says flashing his best smile.

“Yes,” Clarke laughs. “But here’s the thing, I like girls who like girls who like whiskey."

Octavia’s laughter bursts through the bar and Bellamy turns to glare at his sister, who obviously knew this would happen. Bellamy returns his attention to Clarke face flushed.

“Sorry about that, it seems my younger sister completely set me up to fail here,” he chuckles. “No hard feelings?” he asks sticking his hand out. Clarke accepts his gesture and then introduces Bellamy to her friend Echo who just so happens to like guys who like girls who like whiskey.

Octavia smirks at her brother as Bellamy motions for her to come over. The younger Blake ignores him and instead sends Lexa over while she leans against the bar waiting for the show to begin.

“Bell, your sister sent me over here so this better be good,” Lexa says as she walks up to the table and her face immediately falls when she sees Clarke. “Oh, hi."

Clarke frowns at Lexa’s reaction to her, “Hello Lexa."

The brunette forgot how amazing Clarke made her name sound and it immediately lifts her mood, “I mean hi, Clarke, it’s great to see you,” and that sends a smile across the doctor’s face.

“What am I missing?” Bellamy says and his response is met with a soft swat to the back of his from Octavia who joins them.

“Besides your balls?” Octavia teases. “Dr. Hot Pants over here took care of our little Raven,” Octavia coos. Lexa’s eyes widen at Octavia and then over at Clarke whose cheeks are now a cute shade of pink.

“Right…Well since Octavia’s here now…I’ll just get…yeah…” Lexa grabs a few empty glasses from a nearby table and returns to her post behind the bar. The regulars begin to leave just as Lincoln shows up to which Lexa is thankful for because it meant Octavia would extract herself from Clarke’s table and attach herself to Lincoln’s face.

“Easy Commander, your face might get stuck like that,” Octavia teases as she walks over to kiss, well more than kiss, her boyfriend hello.

“I’m sensing there’s a backstory to that nickname,” Lexa looks to her right and sees Clarke taking a seat at the bar. The brunette looks back to Octavia who just shoots her a wink and a thumbs up.

“Dr. Griffin what brings you to my neck of the woods,” Lexa says making the girl another whiskey and ginger ale.

“Well Miss Woods I’ll have you know I work right across the street,” and then it hit her, of course Clarke worked at the hospital.

“Oh,” Lexa blushes, “I’m sorry I should have remembered."

Clarke giggles and Lexa wants nothing more than to make her laugh like that again, “I saw your mini-me today,” Clarke says.

“Raven?"

“You have more kids running around that I don’t know about?” Clarke asks.

“Nope, just the one. Just my Raven,” Lexa says and Clarke can see the twinkle in the girl’s eyes. She sees how much Raven means to her and it opens the floodgate of butterflies in her stomach.

“I ran into her at this bakery a few blocks down, she was with Octavia."

Lexa nods, it explains how Octavia knew who Clarke was and she makes a mental note to kill her best friend for it later.

“She likes you a lot,” Lexa says drying off a few glasses. “She won’t stop talking about superhero Dr. Clarke who stitched her up. She’s most popular in her class now thanks to you."

“I believe she owes her popularity to dumb Wicky boy if I remember correctly,” Clarke grins. A few other customers call Lexa over, she gives Clarke a small smile before going to tend to them. When Lexa returns to where Clarke’s sitting she sees her friends and Bellamy included have joined her and unfortunately a now tipsy Octavia.

“Commander get your cute ass over here, we’re doing shots!”

Lexa looks over to Lincoln who gives her an, ‘I don’t know what’s going on’ look while he locks up the bar and switches the sign from open to closed. Lexa knows she’s going to regret it and she wants to say no but when Clarke calls her a chicken for not wanting a shot, there was no way she was backing down.

“Oh you’ve done it now Clarke, Lexa never backs down from a challenge,” Octavia teases hip checking her friend.

“Oh really now?” Clarke says as she takes down her shot of tequila with ease. “Well I can get on board with that."

Octavia is practically giddy with excitement as she watches her best friend stare down the blonde. They’re practically eye fucking and she wishes they’d just let their hormones take over so in an effort to help, Octavia refills Clarke’s shot.

“So what’ll it be Commander?” Clarke asks but she never hears a reply because Lexa takes Clarke’s glass out of her hand and downs her shot followed by her own sitting on the bar.

“Are you sure you can handle me Clarke?” inside Lexa is screaming but a look of satisfaction is the only thing Clarke sees as she swallows hard and eyes the girl’s lips.

Their moment is interrupted when one of Clarke’s friends falls off their stool trying to reach over the bar for a bottle and suddenly they remember they’re not alone.

“Kane, you idiot!” Anya says smacking her boyfriend across the arm.

“Sorry…” he mumbles picking himself up but Lincoln waves it off as he fills his glass with beer, cheap beer, but free beer nonetheless. When Lexa looks back to Clarke she finds that the girl is missing and instead sitting by the pool table on her phone. She tries not to think anything of it and focuses on trying to clean up as best she can. When she finishes she takes a survey of the bar and can’t say she’s upset about being there. Bellamy’s over by the dart board trying to show some girl how to throw a dart, Lincoln and Octavia are in what looks like a heated debate with Anya and Kane, leaving Lexa alone behind the bar.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Lexa smiles knowing who the voice belongs to and she does her best to compose herself before turning to face her.

“I miss Raven,” the young mother admits.

“You’re too cute."

Lexa blushes but she blames it on the alcohol that’s rushing through her body. To combat it she pours herself and Clarke another shot.

“You’re not trying to get my drunk are you?” Clarke tease.

“So what if I am?” Lexa says playing into Clarke’s flirtations.

“Then I don’t have a problem with that,” Clarke winks before downing her shot. “How about another Commander?"

* * *

Somewhere in the distance an alarm is ringing and Lexa is not happy.

“Are you growling?”

Lexa’s eyes fly open as she realizes she isn’t alone in bed. She looks around and realizes she’s not even in her own bed. The brunette feels a warm hand on her stomach, her bare stomach her pulse starts to race as she tries to peek at who it belongs to.

_Clarke. Shit it’s Clarke!_

“Lexa stop moving."

_So she knows it’s me._

“Sorry…” the brunette murmurs and she tries to wiggle away to give Clarke some space but a tight grip around her waist says otherwise. Lexa closes her eyes and racks her brain for some memory of the night before. She can’t believe she let herself do this and she tries her best to keep calm but when images of her and Clarke taking shots, then Clarke inviting her back to her apartment for a nightcap and then flashbacks of them making out on the girl’s couch come rushing back to her she freaks out and jumps out of bed.

“Lexa?"

“I’m sorry Clarke, I can’t do this,” Lexa grabs her discarded clothes on the ground and makes a beeline for the door. Once she’s outside she hails a cab back to the bar to pick up her and thankfully her phone hasn’t died from the night before.

 **Lexa:** Octavia I am going to kill you.

Lexa receives a reply almost immediately.

 **Octavia:** Doctor bad in bed?

 **Lexa:** Bring my daughter home now and make sure you bring coffee.

Octavia gulps reading the text. _I am so screwed._

When Lexa gets back home she immediately jumps into the shower trying to erase whatever happened last night off of her skin. She racks her brain still trying to find some memory of the night before but nothing comes to mind. All she knows is that she woke up half-naked in Clarke’s bed and that was enough for her. Lexa Woods did not date. Lexa Woods is first and foremost a mother, she is a hard worker and she is a student but she in no way dates. Not since Costia and certainly not now after the previous night.

Lexa hears the sound of keys and she makes her way to the front door, Raven’s eyes light up the second she sees her mom as she runs into her arms.

“I miss you mama,” she says kissing her cheek.

“I missed you too pretty girl, did you have fun at Grandma Blake’s?” her daughter nods as she immediately goes into a list of the, ‘totally awesome things’ she got to do. Lexa nods and smiles along to her story wondering how she could have ever spent a night away from her daughter.

“Hey kid, you mind giving me and your mom a minute?” Octavia asks taking a seat at the kitchen counter. Raven nods and drags her backpack down the hall to her room.

“Octavia, last night was not okay,” Lexa says her previous tone of happiness quickly lost.

“Lexa I -"

“Octavia, I told you I’m not ready,” Octavia can see the hurt in her best friend’s eyes. She didn’t mean for anything bad to happen last night she just wanted Lexa to have a little fun for once.

“Lexa, I’m sorry. I just wanted you to live a little."

“I live enough O…I have a kid, I have a family to support, I can’t afford to be making stupid decisions and getting drunk like that. I know you were looking out for me and I love you for it, you know I do but this morning…I completely panicked."

Octavia quickly realizes why Lexa is so upset and she goes to hug her, “I’m sorry Dr. Hot Pants was bad in bed."

Lexa snorts and shoves the other girl, “I wouldn’t even know, I barely remember a thing."

“You were pretty out of it,” Octavia says handing Lexa the coffee she brought with her.

“Yeah…I totally ran out on her this morning. I don’t know how I’m going to face her again, she probably hates me. She’ll probably never want to speak to me again."

“Hate’s a strong word. No one could hate you Lexa,” Octavia replies.

“Costia does, why do you think she left?"

Octavia winces at the name that hasn’t been uttered in months and she scolds herself for not realizing that things weren’t okay sooner. She goes to speak but both girls quickly look up when they hear Raven speak instead.

“Mama, who’s Costia?"


	4. IV

_“Hi I’m Costia,” a beautiful brunette takes a seat next to a timid looking girl with her in braids. “I um…I don’t normally do this but my friends threatened to come here themselves if I didn’t. Can I buy you a drink?"_

_The other girl’s cheeks turn a soft shade of pink but she reluctantly holds her hand out to shake, “I’m Lexa and yes, a drink sounds great,” the smile on Costia’s face gives Lexa that warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach and she silently thanks Octavia in her head for forcing her to come out that night and for doing her makeup._

_“So what brings you here?” Lexa asks, her voice gaining confidence with every sip of whiskey she takes._

_“Mm,” Costia nods taking a sip of her drink, “I’m actually new to the area. I’ve recently relocated for work, thankfully I have a few friends here already,” she gestures to the boisterous table a few booths away. “So this is sort of my…welcome back to town, let’s get you rowdy party."_

_Costia laughs and shakes her head, her laugh is heavenly to Lexa, “Sounds like a blast,” Lexa replies. “I don’t want to keep you though."_

_“You’re not but I suppose I should get back to them, thank you for having a drink with me Lexa…"_

_“Lexa Woods,” she says filling in the blank._

_“Lexa Woods. I like that. I hope I’m not being too forward here but would you like to have dinner sometime?”_

_Lexa stares at the beautiful brunette, not quite sure how to respond. She wasn’t being forward at all but she didn’t think that their short conversation warranted a date. A not so subtle cough from Octavia behind the bar snaps Lexa out of her gaze, another blush creeps onto her face._

_“I think I’d like that very much Costia,” the girls exchange phone numbers and when Costia walks back to her friends Lexa swears she says an extra sway to her hips._

_“Mama, who’s Costia?"_

_“Fuck…” Octavia whispers and Lexa turns to glare at her best friend. She mouths a quick ‘sorry’ before leaving to busy herself in the kitchen._

_Lexa closes her eyes, pushing her fingers on her temples. She knew this day would come she just didn’t think it’d come so soon, “Hey pretty girl why don’t you join your mama on the couch?"_

_Raven smiles and clutches the stuffed giraffe in her hand closer to her chest as she walks down the hall to her mother. She takes a seat next to her mom and looks up at her with wide eyes readying herself for the story time that was about to commence._

_“So…” Lexa begins, “Costia."_

_“That’s a weird name,” Raven says rather blandly. Lexa chuckles, Raven continues to surprise her every day and there’s no doubt that judging by her humor she’s her daughter._

_“It’s…definitely different,” Lexa chuckles, “but she is someone who was very important to me."_

_Raven nods listening intently to every word her mother says, “Costia. Different. Important."_

_“Raven…” Lexa racks her brain trying to find the right words to say but she realizes that there’s no way to say it without raising some sort of alarm in her daughter. So with a deep breath she decides to bite the bullet. “Raven, Costia is yo-"_

_“Costia is the woman who gave birth to you."_

_Lexa and Raven whip their heads towards the kitchen to find Octavia leaning against the door frame._

_“Lexa I am so sorry."_

_The woman she loves more than anything in the world is on her knees, sobbing, clutching onto the standing girl, begging for her forgiveness and for the first in their relationship Lexa is speechless._

_“Lexa, please…Say something,” Costia cries again._

_“I don’t…I don’t know what you want me to say Costia,” Lexa’s voice is soft but still strong. “Do you want to have this child?"_

_“Wha- what?"_

_“I’m asking if you want to have this child Costia,” Lexa says again her voice finding its strength again._

_“Does that mean you’re not…you’re not going to leave me?” Costia asks her hazel eyes looking for Lexa’s. Could she really do this? Could Lexa really stay with Costia after what she’s done? How was she going to get past this, could she get past this? It took one bad fight and one night for things to turn themselves upside down and now Lexa was questioning everything. They’ve been dating for almost three years, hell she even planned on proposing but now the girl has never been more unsure in her life._

_Seven months later when Raven was born and Lexa held her for the first time she knew the answer. Yes, she could and she would do this._

* * *

 

“Mama?” Raven asks the worry in her voice already seeping through.

“Octavia…"

“Lexa, there isn’t an easy way around this,” Lexa knew why her best friend was doing this. She knew that she wasn’t ready to come to terms with her ex-girlfriend abandoning her, even after all these years. It was still hard.

Octavia moves into the living room, taking a seat on the armchair facing the mother and daughter, “You see Raven, your mom here fell in love with Costia and -"

“Like how you and Uncle Lincoln fell in love?” Raven asks.

“Yes, just like that and -"

“And what your Auntie O is trying to say,” Lexa interrupts smiling to her best friend in thanks, “is that Costia and I fell in love, we loved each other so much that we wanted to share that love with someone and that someone was you."

Raven smiles, loving the idea that her mama loved someone so much she wanted to share it with her but as the puzzle pieces began to fall into place Raven’s smile quickly turned into a frown. Sensing the girl’s change of attitude, Lexa quickly began talking again.

“But sometimes sweetheart, sometimes people who love each other don’t always stay together,” Lexa says as she watches her daughter take in all the information. “Raven, I know that this is really confusing, I know that when you get older you’re going to have more questions, I know that. I just want you to know how much I love you. You are everything to me and I won’t ever stop loving you or wanting to take care of you, do you understand that?"

“I love you too mama,” Raven says throwing herself to hug her mom. “I’m glad you’re my mama,” she says hugging her mother tighter. Lexa tries to keep her cries to herself but it’s futile when she has her daughter hugging her tight whispering how much she loves her. The girls break apart when they hear sniffles coming from Octavia and she quickly turns her face to avoid her embarrassment.

“Octavia Blake are those tears in your eyes?” Lexa teases as she wipes her own out of her face.

“You two are weird,” Raven says hopping off the couch to go back to her room, leaving her mom and godmother laughing in the living room.

* * *

“Paging Dr. Griffin, Earth to Dr. Griffin,” Anya says throwing a chip at her best friend’s head. The brunette successfully throws two more chips at Clarke, getting them stuck in her blonde curls before she actually stands to get her friend’s attention.

“Clarke, seriously?” Anya sits down directly in front of her best friend who has been doing nothing but moping around all morning. She snaps her fingers in front of Clarke and that seems to do the trick.

“Anya?"

“Have you seriously not heard a word I’ve said?” Anya asks pulling the chips from Clarke’s hair and eating them. Clarke gives her a questioning look but decides not to pursue that conversation.

“I’m sorry, I’m just…tired,” she lies knowing that her best friend would be able to see right through it.

Anya arches her brow but allows the lie to slide, “Late night Princess?” she teases as Clarke tries to stifle a yawn.

“Stayed up late binge watching Sense8,” the blonde lies again but this time Anya doesn’t let it go so lightly.

“Would you cut the crap Griffin? I know you took Lexa home with you!” Anya practically yells and Clarke practically jumps on her best friend trying to shush her while other residents look on from afar.

“Seriously Anya?” Clarke hisses.

“Seriously Anya?” the brunette mocks in reply. “So are you going to tell me what happened or what?"

_Clarke has never felt softer lips than those of Lexa Woods’. They moved against hers with such purpose, each kiss quipped with desire and want. Lexa breaks the kiss and Clarke whimpers at the loss of contact. She licks her lips and tastes a mix of whiskey and sweetness from Lexa’s chapstick. Her blue eyes dart to Lexa’s lips and then to the forest green of the girl’s eyes next to her._

_“Clarke,” a breathless Lexa says, “I…"_

_Clarke cups the girl’s cheek, “I know, me too,” Lexa’s cheeks flush even more and this time not from the whiskey as she leans back in for another kiss. They spend what feels like hours on the couch, when in reality it was only a matter of 20-minutes. Lexa’s lips move from Clarke’s lips to her neck, placing soft gentle kisses before moving toward her collar bone, sucking gently but enough to leave a mark the next morning. Clarke’s breath hitches as Lexa’s tongue inches closer and closer to her already peaked nipples and when she thinks Lexa is going to run her soft tongue to where she wants it the most, Lexa pulls back._

_“I…I can’t."_

_Lexa sits back and runs a hand through her hair. Her pupils are blown and Clarke can see the girl wants her just as much as she does and for whatever reason Lexa pulled back._

_“Lexa, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Clarke says as she debates internally whether or not she should grab the girl’s hand._

_Lexa shakes her head, “No it’s not that I don’t want this, because…I do Clarke,” that alone was enough for Clarke to take the brunette’s hand in her own._

_“I’m just…I haven’t done this in…” she gestures between the two of them. “I mean I just haven’t been involved with someone, seriously for awhile and Raven…"_

_Clarke feels her heart ache for the girl next to her. Lexa looks so sad yet so…hot. Was that even possible?_

_“I have an idea,” Clarke smiles. “Why don’t I make us a snack? Help us sober up a bit and we can watch a movie?”_

_Lexa smiles and Clarke’s stomach flutters, “I’d like that very much.”_

_The girls enjoy the mac and cheese that Clarke throws together while they nestle themselves closer and closer as each episode of How I Met Your Mother plays. It’s through their fourth episode that Clarke realizes the brunette has fallen asleep. She nudges the girl waking her and that’s when she realizes that sleepy Lexa is probably her favorite version of her._

_“Lexa, you can sleep in my bed. This couch will only give you a backache in the morning."_

_“You should buy another couch then,” Lexa says stifling a yawn, her eyes still shut but she allows herself to be guided to Clarke’s room where she unconsciously takes her shirt off and falls into the comfort of Clarke’s bed. Clarke eyes the girl’s body but quickly shakes herself out of it as she goes to join her. Lexa’s body fit perfectly next to hers and the blonde falls asleep to Lexa tracing circles onto her lower back._

“That’s it? That’s all that happened?” Anya squeals grabbing the attention of their peers again.

“Anya, I swear…” Clarke hisses grabbing her best friend and dragging her to an empty stairwell.

“Oh come on Princess, I’m just teasing,” Anya says trying her best not to let her laughter slip out any louder than it already has.

“I’m absolutely mortified Anya…She probably thinks something else happened and she just completely booked it,” Clarke says slumping to the ground. Anya frowns as she joins her best friend on the ground.

“You know Clarke, I bet you she’s just as mortified. I mean you said it yourself, the two of you had quite a bit to drink, she probably just doesn’t remember that part of the night,” Anya puts her arm around her best friend, “Listen Griffin, I’ve seen you go through your fair share of girls…and guys, but I’ve never seen you this worked up over one. I mean the two of you were practically throwing heart eyes at each other all night."

“Heart eyes? What are heart eyes?” Clarke asks rather grumpily.

“Besides the point Clarke,” Anya laughs. “What I’m trying to say is, just call her. Stop beating yourself over something you can’t control. What you can control is what happens next…That is if you’re not too chicken shit to do it,” Anya smirks knowing that this is exactly what will get Clarke pumping.

“I am not a chicken shit Anya Muriel,” Clarke says pushing her best friend away from her.

“Touché Griffin,” Anya says standing up before helping Clarke up as well. “But if you tell anyone what my middle name is, I’ll have to murder you in your sleep."

“I don’t doubt that,” Clarke says. Anya’s pager begins to buzz, “Duty calls."

“It appears both of us are needed,” Clarke sighs. “Hey An?"

“Yeah Princess?"

“Thanks."

“Always, now come on."

* * *

“Do you think I should go in there?” Lexa asks as she paces back and forth.

“I think you should sit down before you burn a hole in the floor,” Octavia replies.

“I mean, she seems…She seems so okay? How is that possible? She’s only four!” Lexa says throwing her hands in the air.

“She may be four but she’s your kids. Give her more credit. She’s a smart kid, if she has questions, you know she’ll ask,” her best friend shrugs.

“Octavia…” Lexa takes a seat. “What if she asks to meet her?"

Octavia sighs knowing how difficult this must be for Lexa. She opens her arms and Lexa immediately sinks into them.

“Lexa it’s been almost three years. I don’t mean any offense, but why would she have a reason to show up now?” Octavia says and Lexa nods, “You’re probably right O…I’m just…scared."

Octavia pulls the girl closer to her, for Lexa to admit she was feeling anything was a big enough deal in itself, for her to admit she’s scared, even bigger. Just then a soft knock on the door interrupts the moment and Lexa jumps up to answer it.

“Hey Lex,” a deep voice says.

“Lincoln, why am I not surprised,” Lexa says gesturing for him to come in.

“Well if isn’t my knight in shining armor,” Octavia swoons reaching up to kiss her boyfriend. Then without warning the adults hear feet pounding down the hall and a very excited Raven makes an appearance.

“UNCLE LINCOLN!” Raven squeals running into her uncle’s arms, completely disregarding the fact that Octavia was there as well.

“Looks like you’ve got some competition O,” Lincoln smirks before placing a kiss on the girl’s forehead, “Hey baby Rae."

“Lincoln, not that I don’t love unexpected visits, but what’re you doing here?” Lexa asks not so subtly.

“Straight to the point as always Commander,” Lincoln teases putting Raven down, “I’m just hear to pick up O. She left her car at the bar."

“Always the gentleman this one,” Octavia says her eyes glistening with love. Both Raven and Lexa stick their tongues out in disgust.

“Get a room you two and preferably one very far away from here,” Lexa says holding the door open for her best friends to leave.

“Oh we plan on it,” Octavia winks before kissing her best friend on the cheek goodbye and giving Rave a high five, “Later gator."

“In awhile crocodile!” Raven replies.

When their guests are gone Lexa slumps back onto the couch, with her daughter shortly following her. Raven lays her head on her mother’s chest and twirls her hair.

“No school today mama?”

“Not today, just work tonight but I was thinking maybe we could have a day date?"

“Ooo yes!” Raven says and Lexa can feel the girl’s excitement in the air.

“How about the zoo?” Lexa asks.

“Only if the giraffes are out,” Raven replies.

“Well let’s go find out pretty girl!”

When the girls get to the zoo they find it’s not as crowded as they anticipated it to be, which meant only one thing to the Woods girls. No waiting in line for the exhibits! With that Raven pulls her mother further into the zoo until she finds, in her words, “the most awesomest animals ever,” the giraffe exhibit. Lexa laughs at her daughter’s eagerness to rush to the very front, fully knowing that she could still see them from afar but she happily obliges. After a few minutes and Instagrammed photos of her daughter staring at the giant animals in front of her, Lexa tugs her daughter to a nearby bench that holds more memories than Raven will ever know.

“Why do we always sit here mama?” Ravens asks taking a sip from her juice box.

Lexa smiles at her daughter, “You know why kid."

“Tell me why again…Please!” Raven pouts. “Please, please, please mama!” Causing the older girl to laugh.

“Okay, but only because you asked so nicely,” Raven smiles and places herself in her mother’s lap and grabs her hands to place them on her head. Something the younger girl picked up very early on and her mother was always happy to oblige to braid the girl’s hair. Lexa begins the intricate braids as she begins telling the story she’s told her daughter countless times.

“When you were just a baby, younger than you are now, you were quite stubborn. You still are,” Raven giggles, “but you would never go down for a nap. It was quite frustrating for mommy, especially when I wanted to nap. So I’d take you out for walks in your stroller -"

“To the zoo!” Raven interjects.

“Yes pretty girl, to the zoo. To this very zoo,” Lexa begins again. “And we’d sit there under this shaded bench and I’d read my books while you fell asleep. You wouldn’t nap any other way and soon enough this became our special spot. Giraffe was one of your first words, except it sounded more like jaffe, than giraffe,” Lexa laughs, “And that my dear girl is why we come here."

Lexa finishes the braid and turns her daughter to take a look at her, “You tell good stories mama,” Raven smiles hopping off her lap to watch the giraffes again. Lexa relaxes, leaning back into the bench, smiling as she watches her daughter try to grab the attention of the giraffe calf nearby. The ever curious Raven decides that she needs to get closer to the young calf so she begins to climb the wooden fence to get a better look. Raven’s foot slips and Lexa’s eyes widen at the slip, Raven feels herself fall but only into the safety of her mother’s arms.

“Raven…Are you okay?” Lexa asks.

“I’m sorry mama…” Raven replies burying her head in her mother’s chest. Lexa stands and immediately feels the sharp pain in her back. Her back took most of the brunt of the fall, but her sides received a few scrapes from the gravel ground as well and she could feel parts of them already starting to bruise.

“I’m okay baby girl, I just didn’t want you to fall. You need to make sure you’re being safe, okay?” Lexa says soothing her daughter as she places her down.

“Mama you’re bleeding!” Raven exclaims as she starts to cry. Lexa doesn’t realize it at first but then she feels the blood begin to seep through her white shirt. She looks down and sees the outlines of multiple cuts.

Lexa winces, the pain finally starting to hit her, “It’s okay baby girl. Why don’t we just go home and I can get cleaned up, okay?” Raven’s eyes are still filled to the brim with tears but she nods and pulls her mother to the car faster than when she tugged her to the giraffes. Raven’s crying subsides the second she’s in her car seat, the drive was beginning to make her sleepy. Lexa’s relieved when Raven finally falls asleep, they aren’t far from home but the pain was starting to become unbearable. When she pulls up to their apartment, Lexa unfortunately has to wake Raven up, carrying the girl is too strenuous for the injured girl but Raven didn’t complain.

“I’m going to go get cleaned up, can you keep yourself occupied kid?” Lexa says doing her best to keep a smile on her face so she doesn’t worry her daughter.

“Yes mama,” Raven sniffles taking up her usual space on the couch.

Lexa couldn’t make it down the hall into the bathroom quick enough. She peels off her shirt and winces as she feels her skin peel from the dried up blood on the sides of her stomach and her back.

“Son of a bitch…” Lexa hisses as she turns the faucet on to dampen a towel. She turns her back toward the mirror and looks over her shoulder. She sees her muscles flex and the tribal tattoos on her back flex in response as well. She looks down and sees the multiple scratches and she knows it doesn’t look good. Taking a deep breath she begins to dab at her wounds only to let out a slew of expletives in reply to the pain.

Raven’s head immediately turns in the direction of the bathroom when she hears her mother cry out in pain. Tears immediately begin to flow again and she finds herself knocking on the bathroom room door.

“Mama…are you,” sniffles, “are you okay?"

Raven can tell there’s strain in her mom’s voice when she answers her, “I’m okay kid, why don’t you go put a movie on, I’ll be right…out,” Raven can tell her mom is really hurt but she agrees and goes back to the living room. She’s on the couch again when she hears her mom swear again. Raven, ever so determined to help her mom grabs the phone on the kitchen table, unlocks it and looks through the phone until she finds the name she’s looking for.

 _“Lexa?”_ a voice on the other end asks.

“My mama’s really hurt, she needs help,” Raven cries.

 _“Raven? Where are you?”_ the voice now concerned.

“I’m at home, hurry…Please hurry,” Raven cries again.

_“I’ll be right there sweetheart. Stay put."_

The line goes dead and Raven walks over to the balcony and opens the shades, anxiously waiting for her call for help to arrive. When she sees her, Raven runs over to the intercom, climbs onto her stool and buzzes her in. When she hears a soft knock and a familiar voice, Raven opens the door.

“Raven, what happened?” The familiar blue eyes are make their way down to Raven’s eye level, the warmth of Clarke’s hands on her face immediately calms the younger girl.

“Mommy had an accident,” Raven says beginning to cry again. Clarke’s eyes roam the living room and kitchen, in search of the girl. When she hears a sharp cry down the hall she immediately follows it. The sound of running water directs Clarke to the bathroom, she knocks but is met with silence. After few more unanswered knocks she decides to go in.

“Raven, I’ll be right -“ Lexa’s eyes widen at the sight of Clarke in her doorway, “Clarke?"

“Lexa, Jesus Christ,” Clarke says eyeing her wounds. She quickly returns to the living room to grab the medical kit she brought with her. She turns to Raven and tells her everything’s going to be okay but to stay in the living room until she comes back. Raven nods and goes back to the couch, this time clutching her stuffed giraffe close to her chest again.

“Lexa, sit down,” Clarke says pulling the toilet lid down for the girl.

“Clarke,” Lexa winces taking a seat, “What are you doing here?"

Clarke opens her kit and pulls on a pair of latex gloves before pulling out a few antiseptic wipes as well, “Raven called me."

The coolness of the wipes hitting her skin causes the brunette to flinch, “What do you mean, fuck…What do you mean she called you?"

“She called me, she was crying and said you were hurt. I came right over,” Clarke replies. She lowers herself to the wounds, checking for any signs of infection and cleaning it thoroughly. Lexa was in a trance watching the doctor go to work. There was something oddly calming about seeing Clarke in her element.

“You didn’t, you didn’t need to do that,” Lexa whispers as Clarke’s hands begin to explore the rest of the girl’s stomach and back. Clarke can feel Lexa tense under her touch and it sort of calms her knowing that she’s just as nervous being so close to each other.

Ignoring what Lexa says Clarke begins to talk, “Good news is your cuts aren’t serious. You won’t need stitches. Bad news is you’ll be sore for a few days while they heal and we should really ice your back. I just need to finish cleaning your cuts and put some cream on it then can I bandage you up. Sound good?"

Lexa can’t take her eyes off of Clarke as she continues to assess her wounds, “Lexa?"

“What oh yeah, that sounds great…Clarke?"

Clarke stops what she’s doing to look up at the girl, “Yeah?"

“Thank you,” Lexa smiles and Clarke nods in reply before bowing her head down to hide the blush on her face.

* * *

The girls emerge from the bathroom and Clarke helps a very sore Lexa settle onto the couch. Raven looks extremely scared as her eyes dart back between her mom and Clarke.

“Raven you did such a great job baby,” Lexa says soothing her daughter. “Thank you for getting me help."

“I was…I was scared mama…” Raven says still looking at her mother.

Clarke sensing the question in Raven’s head speaks up, “You can touch her Raven, your mama’s okay. I promise,” Raven questioningly looks back at Clarke, still worried about possibly hurting her mom but Clarke gives her a reassuring thumbs up and that’s all it takes for Raven to smile and crawl into her mother’s lap.

“So how do you two feel about some pasta?” Clarke asks. Lexa smiles and mouths a thank you as she rubs her daughter’s back.

“If it’s not much trouble Clarke, I think Raven would love some pasta,” Lexa replies.

“Pasta it is then."

Clarke makes her way into the unfamiliar kitchen but quickly finds her way around it. In less than an hour she has two bowls of pasta ready for the girls on the couch. She returns to find Raven now snuggled into her mother’s side as they watch some animated film on the television. Clarke tries to save the moment in her head watching Lexa mouth along to the singing Disney movie as Raven sings back to her.

“Dinner is served!” Clarke says, announcing her presence. She hands each girl their bowl followed by a napkin and two bottles of water on the coffee table. She hands Lexa aspirin as well.

“You’re not eating with us Dr. Clarke?” Raven asks through a mouthful of pasta.

“Raven, manners,” Lexa says shaking her head before turning her attention to the girl standing awkwardly in the middle of their living room.

“Clarke, I think what Raven’s trying to say is that she’d love for you to stay for dinner. You did cook after all,” Lexa smiles before adding, “I know I’d really like it if you stayed too."

Clarke blushes causing Lexa to blush as well. The blonde smiles and goes to grab herself a bowl before joining the two on the couch.

“So what are we watching?”

After two servings of pasta, each, a healthy serving of ice cream, and another Disney movie later, all three girls were completely exhausted on the couch. Lexa leans forward to grab the remote to shut the movie off, she leans back to find Raven cuddled into Clarke’s side. The image should have spooked the brunette but it didn’t. The sight of Raven cuddled into Clarke, with Clarke’s hands draped around her holding her protectively warmed Lexa’s heart. It looked so…normal. Not knowing why Lexa decided to take a quick photo of it before grabbing their empty bowls to bring to the kitchen. She stood too quickly and let out a low yelp of pain causing the blonde the wake up.

“Lexa?” Clarke calls wiping the sleepiness from her eyes. “What are you doing?"

“I’m just going to clean up really quick,” Lexa whispers pointing to Raven. “You stay put, I’ll be right back."

Lexa grabs the rest of the dirty dishes and places them into the sink. When she returns she finds the living room empty, she tiptoes down the hall in search of the missing girls and finds Clarke tucking Raven into her bed.

“Goodnight Raven,” Clarke whispers quietly backing out of the room into the hall only to bump into Lexa. “Oh crap, Lexa I’m so sorry!"

Before Clarke can say anything else she’s silenced with Lexa’s lips. Clarke comes to seconds later and kisses her back. Clarke pulls away and cups Lexa’s face, “What are you doing?"

“Saying thank you,” Lexa replies and this time Clarke kisses her, her hands settle onto her waist and suddenly everything comes rushing back to Lexa. Images from the night before flooding her mind and she pulls away.

“Clarke, about last night…"

“It’s not important,” Clarke says.

“No it is. I shouldn’t have run off like that. I had no idea what happened and then you kissed me and I -“ Clarke laughs, “What’s so funny?"

“If I had known kissing you would help you remember I would’ve kissed you hours ago,” Clarke laughs again pulling Lexa closer to her.

“Are you saying you didn’t like _Frozen_?”

“I’m saying, I could have done with less singing and more…of…this,” Clarke closes the distance again and she feels Lexa practically melt into her. Their kisses turn from playful and fun to hot and passionate in a matter of minutes as Lexa pushes Clarke against the wall. Clarke can feel her body practically tingling at the feeling of Lexa's body pushed against hers. Clarke needs more so she pulls Lexa rather roughly closer to her and Lexa moans in response but suddenly pulls away.

Clarke’s lips are swollen as she gives Lexa a questioning look but then she realizes that the girl is in pain.

“Oh fuck, Lexa I’m so sorry,” Clarke says trying to check the girl for any open cuts again.

Lexa laughs, “No it’s okay Clarke. I am the one who pushed you against the wall after all,” Clarke bites her lip and to her surprise Lexa kisses her again but when she pulls away she’s sure to suck on the blonde’s bottom lip, releasing it with a soft pop.

“Well then…” Clarke says trying to hide her blush. “I should probably check your bandages again before I get going."

_Subtle Griffin._

“Okay,” Lexa nods, "but I think you should just stay here. It’s already past midnight,” Lexa says already pulling off her shirt and walking into her room. Clarke is frozen in her place as she unabashedly takes in Lexa’s body again for the second time that night.

“You coming Dr. Griffin?” Lexa flirts. Clarke gulps and nods, eyes still wide as she follows Lexa into her bedroom.

* * *

With shaky hands Clarke finishes re-bandaging Lexa up.

“I’ll take the couch,” Clarke says standing.

“Don’t be stupid Clarke, you can stay with me…Unless you don’t want to?” There was a sense of hope in Lexa’s voice and Clarke can sense it too.

“I just didn’t want to assume…” she blushes.

“There’s extra sweat pants and shirts in the bottom drawer,” Lexa gestures across the room. “I’d get it for you myself but bending down like that…Well it hurts,” Lexa replies already getting herself situated in bed. Clarke nods and exits the room to change in the bathroom down the hall. When she returns Lexa is already fast asleep. Clarke does her best to crawl into bed without waking the girl but when the mattress dips with her weight it lets out a small squeak. She settles herself onto her side, her back facing Lexa and before she realizes what’s happening, Lexa is draping an arm around her waist and pulling her flush to her.

“Goodnight Clarke,” she whispers. Clarke smiles, “Goodnight Lexa."

* * *

Neither girl knows when it happened but sometime in the middle of the night soft footsteps made its way into the bedroom and a sleepy Raven tangled herself between the two girls. And that’s how Octavia found them the next morning.


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five - in which Lexa and Clarke go on an official first date, kinda.

Octavia tiptoes out of the room not before taking a few photos of course, and makes sure to actually see herself out without making a sound. She knew something was going on between the hot doctor and her best friend but she didn’t realize it was to _this_  extent. Nevertheless it was still adorable and she applauds herself for her handiwork in helping set them up, granted a lot of that is probably owed to Raven, but Octavia didn’t know that just yet. The Blake makes her exit, ensuring that the door didn’t shut loudly behind her before calling Lincoln and filling him in on what she’s stumbled upon.

Somewhere in the distance a door shuts, jerking Lexa out of her slumber. She wipes the sleep from her eyes and tries to sit up but a sharp pain on her side stops her from doing so. For a moment the brunette forgets about her injury, but how could she when the injury brought Clarke to her? That’s when she remembers that Clarke’s still there. She slowly turns over and she can already feel the weight of the bed shift next to her. Perfectly cuddled between Clarke’s toned arms is Raven, whose hands are perfectly intertwined with one of Clarke’s hands. She doesn’t recall Raven ever entering the room but she really isn’t surprised that she did. Lexa attempts to scoot away from the girl to easily get out of bed but it was useless with the way her wound was throbbing. A sharp breath and a low hiss from the brunette is all it takes to wake the blonde.

“Lexa?” she whispers, realizing that Raven has pulled herself closer to Clarke’s hold.

“I’m fine, it’s okay,” Lexa says trying to sit up again only to wince back down from the pain and almost instantly Clarke is at her side that Lexa’s amazed at her speed.

“Hey, take it easy. Let me help,” Clarke grabs hold of Lexa’s hands and stands, lowering herself just a bit to help bring Lexa up as well. “I need to check your wound."

“Okay, but in the bathroom,” Clarke nods and follows her out the room but not before tucking Raven under the covers.The girls settle themselves back into the bathroom, just like the night before. Without being told, Lexa’s already lifting her shirt while Clarke goes to grab her medical kit from the floor. She peels away the gauze and despite the physical look of her wound, it looks a lot healthier than the night before. Clarke cleans it quickly and places a fresh set of bandages before moving to wash her hands. Lexa leaves only to return just seconds later, extending a toothbrush to Clarke.

“Are you telling me my breath smells, because that’s not really nice to do to someone you like,” Clarke pouts accepting the aqua toothbrush.

“And who says I like you?” Lexa smirks grabbing her own toothbrush and placing toothpaste on it before passing it to Clarke. Lexa begins to brush her teeth, she spots Clarke out of the corner of her eye who’s now leaning towards her. “The hickey on your neck says otherwise Lexa,” she whispers and Lexa almost chokes on the toothpaste in her mouth. Clarke throws her a wink before brushing her own teeth. The way the two worked around each other was almost as if they’ve been doing it their entire lives. Lexa finishes brushing her teeth, placing her toothbrush back to its spot before grabbing her mouthwash to gargle. Whilst she gargles, Clarke spits out the rest of her paste and goes to gargle as well while Lexa goes to spit. It was a humorous sight to the say the least and both girls knew it. The way they move around each other was just natural.

“So breakfast?” Lexa asks.

“If it’s not too much trouble,” Clarke smiles. “But can I ask you something?"

“Of course Clarke, I owe you after all."

“Kiss me,” the blonde blurts out. Her cheeks blush but Lexa only thinks it makes her even more adorable. She steps toward Clarke and angles her head downward to meet Clarke’s lips, giving her a soft kiss. “I didn’t mean kiss me because you owe me…” Clarke replies her eyes still closed from the kiss but before she can continue Lexa kisses her again, this time reverently.

“Does that answer your question?” Lexa whispers, her lips grazing the blonde’s, who shakes her head in reply. The girls exit the bathroom and make their way to the kitchen, having already acquainted herself with the kitchen Clarke takes initiative in pulling out the needed pans and ingredients for breakfast while Lexa struggles to get the coffee going.

“Need a hand there Commander?” Clarke teases moving behind the girl to help her remove the stuck coffee lid, but Clarke’s proximity only makes the brunette actually tear the lid off. Thankfully it’s a snap on and she can quickly fix it but not without Clarke’s snickers. “Don’t let it get to your head,” she scoffs moving to the counter to help Clarke prep for breakfast.

The girls work in tandem and the apartment soon smells of bacon, potatoes and coffee, so it’s no surprise that Raven walks into the kitchen a few minutes later.

“Hey pretty girl,” Lexa says bending down to pick up her daughter.

“Morning mama,” Raven replies wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck, clearly still sleepy. “Morning Dr. Clarke,” she yawns.

“Morning monkey,” Clarke says taking a step toward the girl to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“What’s for breakfast mama?” Raven asks shimmying out of her mother’s arms and into her seat where a glass of orange juice is already waiting for her.

“We’ve got bacon, potatoes and eggs coming up too,” Lexa says placing a plate of bacon and potatoes in front of her daughter. Clarke quickly follows with a plate of eggs and serves Raven some as well. Lexa finishes pouring herself and Clarke cups of coffee before taking her seat at the table, but she’s surprised to find that Clarke is waiting for her and when she does finally sit, it’s after she’s pulled Lexa’s chair out for her.

The three of them enjoying their breakfasts with minimal conversation was a little too comfortable for Lexa’s liking but if it bothered her she didn’t let it be known. Raven was talking about how excited she was for some school field trip at school that day while Clarke talked to her about how she had gone to school for years to be doctor. Lexa enjoyed the moments of watching both girls converse as if it wasn't a new thing.

Lexa’s alarm goes off, indicating that she has 15 minutes left until she needs to take Raven to school and the brunette quickly jumps up to begin cleaning up, but Clarke is quicker. She grabs all of their plates and immediately makes herself at home at the sink.

“Clarke you don’t have to do that, you know?” Lexa says.

“I know but I want to,” Clarke smiles before giving Lexa a chaste kiss while Raven isn’t looking, “besides I like being able to help you two."

Lexa nods and reciprocates the kiss before hauling Raven to her to room to get changed for school. In between soapy dishes and sips of coffee, Clarke can hear soft murmurs and pouts of Raven not wanting to leave Lexa and Dr. Clarke for the day.

“Raven, you have to go to school. You’re going on that field trip today, remember?” Lexa pleads.

“I don’t wanna go to school! You and Dr. Clarke aren’t going!"

“Dr. Clarke and I are adults and I promise you that if you go to school today, we’ll go out for dinner tonight. How’s that sound?"

“Promise?” Raven asks, her voice clearly interested.

“I promise,” Lexa replies.

“Can Dr. Clarke come?"

“You can just call her Clarke, sweetheart,” Lexa laughs.

“ _Fine_. Can Clarke come?” Raven asks again.

“Ask her yourself squirt…But after you get dressed, entiendes mi amor?"

“Sí mama!"

Clarke hears a bedroom door shut and she resumes her position at the counter at drying the dishes now, pretending to act aloof when Lexa re-enters the kitchen.

“So how much of that did you hear?” Lexa asks, a smirk appearing across her face.

“I have no idea what you’re talking bout Lexa."

“You’re a terrible liar Clarke Griffin,” Lexa replies moving towards the counter to be directly behind Clarke. Clarke’s breath hitches sensing the girl behind her. The proximity to the girl alone is enough to drive her mad but knowing that Raven’s around calms Clarke’s desires.

“So I’m invited to dinner?”

“If you’re available and if Raven decides to invite you,” Lexa says wrapping her arms around her waist. “Is this too much?” she whispers and Clarke nods her head no.

“It’s not enough to be honest,” and that makes Lexa smile. At that moment Raven bounces into the kitchen wearing black leggings and a black shirt with a rainbow on it, with her backpack strapped to her back.

“I’m ready mama!” she exclaims and the two girls part instantly. When Clarke gets a good look at what Raven’s wearing she throws a look to Lexa’s direction. “She really is your daughter isn’t she?” to which Lexa just smiles while Raven throws her a thumbs up. All three girls make their way down to the parking lot. Clarke had walked over the night before and Lexa insisted on driving her home but she refused, only until Raven insisted at which the blonde couldn’t say no. How could anyone really, with those beautiful brown puppy eyes and pouty lips.

The drive to Raven’s pre-school is insufferable and Lexa makes a mental note to never again allow herself to be in a car with Raven and Clarke, if she can help it. The ride may have been short but it didn’t stop the girls from belting out to every Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato song.

“Alright kid, we’re here. Say goodbye to Clarke."

Clarke smiles hearing Lexa drop the formality of doctor, “I’ll see you later okay Raven?” Clarke says.

“Promise?"

Hesitantly Clarke looks at Lexa and the brunette nods, “I promise."

“Will you come to dinner tonight?” Raven asks midst unbuckling of her car seat.

“You’e in luck kid, I can. Today’s my day off,” and Lexa grins.

“AWESOME! MAMA DID YOU HEAR THAT? CLARKE’S GONNA COME TO DINNER!"

“I heard it pretty girl, now get moving, I don’t want you to be late,” Lexa exits her side of the vehicle and helps Raven clamber down her end. She quickly walks her daughter to the gate and with a quick goodbye she’s back in the car.

“She really is something,” Clarke says waving goodbye to Raven.

“Yes, she really is,” Lexa replies, her eyes are glued to the blonde next to her.

* * *

Clarke was definitely a bit disappointed when Lexa dropped her off shortly after their trip to bring Raven to school but Lexa left her with a lingering kiss and a promise to see her later that evening. Clarke smiles getting out of the car and makes her way up to her apartment, turning around to wave at Lexa seeing as the girl was waiting for her to make it safely inside. Clarke makes it up to her third story apartment and to her surprise Anya is still home.

“Well, well look what the cat dragged in,” Anya smirks her eyes barely moving away from the newspaper spread in front of her.

“Good morning to you too Anya,” Clarke replies tossing her keys into a nearby bowl and sinking into her plush couch. Eyes closed she relaxes into the comfort of her favorite couch and revels in the events from the night before. She feels the cushion next to her dip and she opens her eyes to find Anya looking down on her, her patience clearly running low by the look on her face.

“Are you really not going to tell me where you ran off to last night and why you didn’t come home?"

“You know where I was, I don’t know why you ask,” Clarke says trying to fight the smile on her face.

“I’m your best friend Clarke,” Anya replies and Clarke can tell she’s hurt. The blonde sits up, ready to spill the details of her night but finds that Anya is already down the hall and heading to her bedroom. Clarke sighs and runs after her roommate and knocks before entering the room. When she doesn’t hear a reply, she lets herself in.

“Anya…I’m sorry,” Clarke says taking a seat on the edge of the bed, opposite of where Anya was sitting, arms folded across her chest. “Come on An…I’m just tired, I’m sorry. And this whole thing is just kind of…” Clarke throws her hands in the air, struggling to find the right words, “It’s all just happened so fast and I don’t know what to do."

“Why are you thinking so much about this? Why don’t you just ask her?"

Clarke’s dumbfounded at the simple solution Anya’s presented but Anya didn’t know about Raven. It’s not even anything she has a problem with but she can tell that Lexa does and Clarke doesn’t blame her.

“She has a kid,” Clarke says.

“What?”

“She has a daughter, a four-year-old daughter named Raven."

“How does she -"

“We haven’t gotten that far,” Clarke replies.

“And how far have you exactly gotten?” Anya smirks. Clarke shakes her head knowing that she wasn’t going to get off of the hook that easily. She laughs and takes up the space next to Anya, leaning into her best friend before spilling the details from the night before.

* * *

 **Octavia:** What happened to you last night?

 **Lexa:** Excuse me?

 **Octavia:** You didn’t show for your shift at the restaurant.

Lexa rolls her eyes knowing it’s better to call Octavia instead of dragging out the conversation via text. She closes the book in front of her and steps outside of the busy coffee shop to talk.

_So you are alive._

“I was literally just texting you."

_I can practically hear you rolling your eyes._

“Bite me O."

_No thank you but are you going to tell me why the hot doctor was in your bed this morning?_

“The hot doctor was not in my bed this morning,” Lexa lies but then she feels her phone vibrate indicating a new message. “Hold on O,” Lexa says looking down to open up her text but her eyes widen and she almost drops the phone in the process.

“Octavia…What were yo-“ but the phone line was dead, yet Lexa could still somehow hear Octavia’s laughter, it isn’t until she looks towards the street that she sees Octavia’s sitting in her car a few feet away from her best friend.

“Octavia Blake, you little shit…” Lexa hisses.

“Hey! I could have done worse! I could have woken you up!” Octavia exclaims still laughing. Lexa shakes her head knowing she’s right but it doesn’t anger her any less.

“Remind me to take my spare key back from you,” she mumbles.

“Whatever Commander, so you going to tell me what’s going with that or what?” Lexa nods and nods back towards the coffee shop, Octavia obliges and the two make their way inside. After Octavia orders them both a round of coffee, Lexa gives her a quick rundown of the events from the night before. From their adventures at the zoo, to her accident, and Raven being the one to call Clarke to come and help her.

“That daughter of yours is turning out to be one hell of a wing woman,” Octavia grins. “Looks like I taught her well."

“Raven really likes her,” Lexa says rubbing out the frustration in her temples.

“Is that such a bad thing? I mean hell Lexa, she was cuddled into Clarke!"

“I, I don’t know O…I mean what happens if she leaves?” Lexa mutters and Octavia immediately understands.

“Lexa,” Octavia says grabbing her best friend’s hand. “Not everyone is going to leave, you haven’t dated someone since _her_. I understand why you’re hesitant but babe, I say this with all the love in my heart. Clarke is just as head over heels for you as you are for her. I saw you two at the bar, I saw how great she was with Raven, and if the idea of having a kid weirds her out then she has a really weird way of showing it. I’ve never seen you like this, not even over -"

“Don’t."

“Okay, but you know I’m right. Give her a chance Lex, you owe it to yourself, and to Raven."

Lexa allows the words to sink in, unconsciously nodding to Octavia’s advice. Deep down she knew she was right but it’s honestly been years since Lexa’s let anyone in. Costia left just shy of Raven being one, the last thing she needed was to invite another woman into the girl’s life if she was going to just leave them as well.

“I gotta run but you should give Clarke a chance. Give her the benefit of the doubt, she just might surprise you,” Octavia downs the rest of her coffee and gives her best friend a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving. In an attempt to distract herself from Clarke, the brunette grabs her book in hopes of getting some studying done before picking Raven up. She’s about to open her book when a loud banging on the window not only gets her attention but the attention of everyone in the coffee shop as well. And surprise, surprise it’s Octavia.

“Lexa!” the brunette outside yells, still continuing to knock on the window. Lexa immediately blushes and sends her best friend a glare at the scene she’s making but makes no attempt at moving, instead she replies. “What?"

“Call her!” she says mimicking picking up a phone and dialing a number. “Call Clarke!” Lexa shakes her head and tries to wave the girl off but Octavia only continues to make the same gesture and bang on the window louder and louder every time. The barista behind the bar is making his way over to speak to Lexa and finally the brunette gives in, realizing that the girl wasn’t going to stop her scene until Lexa actually picked up the phone to call her. Lexa quickly apologizes to the barista and pulls out her phone and the banging stops immediately. Lexa sighs and pulls up Clarke’s contact information, showing it to Octavia through the window and hits the dial button.

Octavia can’t hear what the girl’s saying through the glass but it doesn’t hinder her from at least trying as she presses her ear against the glass. When she finds that various onlookers on the street were laughing she turns to trying to read Lexa’s lips instead but is met with Lexa’s back and a lovely middle finger. The conversation seems short but Octavia knows that any phone conversation from the girl was a good thing. Lexa quickly grabs her things and joins her best friend outside.

“Honestly Octavia, are you five?”

“It worked didn’t it?” her best friend smirks. “So how’d it go?"

“Didn’t you say you had to leave?” Lexa snarls.

“Easy Commander,” Octavia says throwing her hands up in protest. “Just wanted to help a girl out, but now I really do have to leave.” Octavia unlocks her car to get in and before shutting the door yells out, “I expect a full report tomorrow morning Commander!”

_“I’m going to call this off, I can’t do this O!”_

_“Lexa don’t you dare! This girl is smoking AND she asked you out! What’s the problem?” Octavia asks._

_“First off, she’s a brunette, I mean come on. That’s not even my type, you know I’m a sucker for a blonde,” Lexa mumbles._

_“It was one blonde and Harper was an asshole. Try again Lex,” Octavia says rolling her eyes._

_“Fine. I just, what if we have nothing in common?” Lexa says as she tries on yet another top for her date._

_“That’s the whole point of a first date. Honestly Lexa it’s like you don’t want to get laid."_

_“I don’t want to get laid,” Lexa replies._

_“The batteries are gonna run out at some point…” Octavia whispers._

_“What did you say?” Lexa says glaring at her best friend._

_“I said you deserve to have some fun! Now I’m heading to Lincoln’s for the night so you can have the place to yourself,” Octavia winks. “I expect a full report in the morning Commander!"_

Lexa shakes the memory out of her head, the words hitting a bit too close to home but she knows that Octavia didn’t do it on purpose. It’s almost 4 now at Lexa has to run at grab Raven from school before going to pick Clarke up for their dinner, not leaving the brunette much time to get ready. As she walks the short walk back to her car Lexa is suddenly filled with butterflies and excitement. Clarke was so excited to hear her calling to confirm their plans for that evening and Lexa couldn’t deny the fact that she was smiling the entire time they talked. If there was one thing Octavia Blake was good at, it was getting inside of her best friend’s head and knowing when and when not to push her buttons. Today was one of those days Lexa was thankful she pushed.

* * *

 **Clarke:** Still on for tonight?

Lexa’s phone buzzed and her face fell when she saw the text. Why was Clarke asking if they were still on for the night? Was she no longer interested?

 **Lexa:** Oh, Clarke please don’t feel like you have to come tonight. I understand that Raven can be a bit much. Really, it’s not a problem.

 _Crap. Way to go Griffin, now she thinks you aren’t interested_. Clarke doesn’t know what’s come over her. The idea of going on a date with Lexa and Raven made the blonde giddy with excitement but as the day grew she found herself growing more and more nervous.

 **Lexa:** Please don’t feel obligated Clarke. We understand, enjoy your night.

_Shit. Clarke!_

Clarke breaks out of her thoughts after the last text and she immediately hits the dial button. It rings for what feels like a decade before being sent to voicemail.

“Son of a bitch!” Clarke yells, thankful that Anya wasn’t home to hear her freaking out. Clarke reclaims here composure and dials the number again. It rings three times before it’s answered.

“Lexa, hear me out!” she blurts out.

 _“This is mommy’s phone!”_ a cheery voice on the end of the line answers.

“Raven? Hi, Raven. It’s Clarke. Is your mom around?"

_“Hi Clarke! Mama’s in her room."_

“Oh. Well do you think I can talk to her?” Clarke asks trying not to sound too desperate.

 _“Oh,”_ Raven’s tone of voice isn’t missed. _“Mommy’s listening to her sad music…I don’t know If I -"_

 _“Raven who are you talking to?”_ Clarke hears a soft voice in the background. _“It’s Clarke mama! She wants to talk to you!”_ Clarke hears the phone being handed off and if she could press her phone even more into her ear she would as she waits to hear something from the other end.

_“You’re quite confusing Clarke."_

“Lexa, please I was calling to apologize and clear the air,” she pleads.

 _“I think you made it quite clear what your intentions were,”_ Lexa replies cooly.

“No but Lexa, that’s not what I meant. I was just…” Clarke takes a deep breath and she’s thankful for the silence Lexa gives her. “I was just scared. I’ve been so excited to see you two all day and I was just…You know sometimes when you want something good to happen and you overthink it and then I…Oh my God I sound insane don’t I?"

Clarke hears a chuckle on the other end of the line and she doesn’t know if she should feel grateful or offended.

 _“Clarke, how about Raven and I pick you up in 10 minutes?”_ Clarke knows it’s a question but it came off more like a statement. She was grateful for the girl’s assertiveness and the nickname Commander was suddenly starting to make sense to her.

“I’d like that very much. I’ll see you girls in 10."

_“See you in 10."_

“And Lexa?"

_“Yes Clarke?"_

“Thank you,” and Clarke can hear practically hear the girl smiling on the other end before she hangs up. Clarke takes one last look at herself in the mirror, teasing her hair slightly, and adjusting her jean jacket. She gives herself one final look over before checking the window and catching sight of Lexa’s car making its way down the street towards her apartment. Clarke wanting to beat them to the punch grabs her purse and quickly makes her way downstairs. What she wasn’t expecting was Lexa and Raven standing outside of her stoop both sporting a bouquet of flowers in hand.

“Clarke!” Raven squeals running towards to hug the girl, almost squishing her flowers in the process.

“Hey there monkey,” Clarke greets her back, her heart practically melting from the interaction with the younger girl. Raven lets go and thrusts her bouquet of daisies up towards Clarke who happily accepts it. Raven turns back to her mom and shoots her a thumbs up.

“Hello Clarke,” Lexa greets her with a tint of pink in her cheeks. “I hope you like flowers, Raven helped pick them out,” Lexa says handing her, her bouquet of lilies.

“I do, these are beautiful. Thank you."

“AHEM. I picked them out too,” Raven pouts.

“And you did an amazing job at that, Raven. Thank you,” Clarke says grabbing Raven’s hand.

“Shall we?” Lexa asks gesturing towards the car.

“There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing,” Clarke smiles holding out her other hand for Lexa to take.

* * *

The details of their date were kept a secret to Clarke and not even excited Raven was giving up anything either. It wasn’t until they pulled up to a familiar side of town that Clarke realized where they were.

“We’re almost there!” Raven clapped from her car seat.

“Can’t wait kiddo,” Clarke replies turning to smile at the girl and Lexa definitely doesn’t miss the wide smile on her daughter’s face from her rearview mirror.

Lexa parks the car in what looks like a run down parking lot but behind the luster of the unlit arcade and go-kart sign is a park full of Clarke’s childhood memories and some of Raven’s as well.

Clarke’s out of the car before Lexa and she’s already unbuckling Raven from her car seat and leading her to the park’s door. Lexa watches in amusement as the two girls interact as if they were the ones on the date. Lexa finally catches up to the girls to pay the entrance fee for the three of them and Raven’s already rambling about each arcade game she wants to play in addition to three rounds of go-karts and Lexa has to cut her daughter off and remind her that they need to eat dinner first. Which not only makes Raven pout but Clarke as well, something Lexa found quite adorable.

The wait for pizza doesn’t take long and soon all three girls were stuffed with their share of pizza. Raven being the ball of energy that she is, wastes no time in grabbing her cup of tokens and heading to play games, leaving Clarke and Lexa to some one-on-one time.

“She really is something,” Clarke says watching Raven’s eyes light up at the children’s pinball machine.

“She’s is,” Lexa smiles in the direction of her daughter, “You’re amazing with her Clarke."

The confession grabs Clarke’s attention and blue eyes are boring into green ones as the girl’s share their first moment of the evening.

 _Now’s a better time than ever._ Clarke thinks to herself.

“Lexa, about earlier…"

“Really Clarke, you don’t have to explain. You weren’t the only one going into this with insecurities. I’m sorry for being so cold to you…"

Clarke shakes her head, “It was deserved given the circumstance but what do you say to a do over?"

“I like the sound of that,” Lexa smiles. “What do you say to a game of 20 questions?” a glimmer of curiosity and intensity shines in pools of green.

“Deal, Commander,” Clarke replies, intense blue eyes matching the green ones across from her.

The girls made it through 15 questions of typical first date questions in between checking in on Raven who was taking the claw machine for everything it had. It was question 16 and Clarke’s turn to ask. The girl’s body language was already giving her away and Lexa knew it was going to come up eventually but she still never felt prepared when people asked.

“I hope this isn’t out of line…” Clarke begins. “But Raven, how did you…” _Crap Clarke you’re totally fucking this up._

Lexa was quick to cut the chase, “How did Raven come about?” Lexa finishes her sentence with a small smile. “Not the first time I’ve gotten that one,” Lexa chuckles and Clarke immediately relaxes. Lexa glances over at her daughter who is suddenly swimming in arcade tickets and claw machine prizes. That was her girl, her daughter, her life.

“I’m not her biological mother,” Clarke’s a bit surprised considering how alike the two girls seemed to be not just in personality but physicality as well but she lets her continue. “Her mother…Costia, we were together for nearly three years. We had one big fight and Costia left. I figured she’d gone to her best friend’s house to cool off for the night but a few months later the truth came out. She had a one night stand and it resulted in, well I’m sure you can put together the pieces."

The truth sank in and Clarke could feel herself wanting to cry for the girl. To reach out across the table and hold her in hopes of taking away any pain she’s had to endure because of Costia.

“Call me stupid but at the time I thought she was the ‘one’ I was an idiot back then. I was young and naive and Costia’s love swept me up and ruined me. I took her back and vowed to make it work. Costia’s job downsized, causing her to lose her job, so I took another in addition to my part-time one and when she ran out of unemployment, I had no choice but to take another, causing me to drop out of school. One day after my double shift at the restaurant and picking Raven up from daycare, I came home to an empty house and a note saying she couldn’t do this…” Lexa bites back the tears that are threatening to spill and before she knows it Clarke’s moving to sit next to Lexa.

“Lexa…You don’t have to continue. I promise, it’s okay,” Clarke says giving her hand a squeeze but the brunette shakes her head.

“No, I want you to know. Clarke…I know this is so early but the thing is I’ve never really brought anyone around Raven. I’ve barely dated to be honest so this…If we’re doing this, I’m going to be up front. Raven is my world Clarke. She is the reason I wake up every morning and the reason I work so hard. I want nothing but the absolute best for my daughter and above everything, she comes first. She is everything to me Clarke and I honestly don’t know where I’d be without her."

Lexa’s confession brings Clarke to tears leaving the blonde momentarily speechless.

“I’ve never met anyone like you Lexa. You are incredibly strong and you are such an amazing mother. It doesn’t matter who gave birth to Raven, you are her real mother and everyone can see that. You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re willing to open up like this…and I suppose it might be my turn for a confession as well, yeah?” Clarke says causing Lexa to chuckle.

“I suppose so but can I ask you my 16th question?” Lexa asks.

“Of course,” Clarke says.

“Can I kiss you?” Clarke smiles, nodding her head before Lexa’s lips are warmly pressed onto hers, reminding her of their prior night together.

“Ew mama!” The girls spring apart with smiling eyes and cheeks redder than a stop sign.

“Raven, I -“ Lexa stammers trying to figure out what to say but it’s Clarke who comes to the rescue.

“Hey monkey, wanna show me what you won?” Clarke asks pointing to the girl’s abundance of prizes in her arms.

“Nah. I just came here for more tokens. You can kiss my mama again,” with that Raven grabs a handful of tokens and skips back down towards a skee ball machine.

“So where were we?” Lexa smirks, her arms snaking across Clarke’s waist.

“Lexa! Your daughter is literally right there!” Clarke squeals.

“She told me to!” Lexa giggles pressing a soft kiss to her date’s cheek. “And whatever Raven wants…"

“…Raven gets,” Clarke says finishing the girl’s sentence before leaning in to kiss Lexa again and again.

The rest of the date only seemed to go up from there. After finally telling Clarke what she’s been so afraid of telling her, Lexa was able to loosen up and have a good time. She didn’t have to worry about if the idea of her having a daughter was going to scare Clarke away. Clarke said it herself she had her own share of insecurities but Lexa wasn’t going to let that hinder her from enjoying her current company. It was almost 8:00pm when the girls decided to call it a night. Raven was exhausted from her laps around the go-kart course, taking turns driving with both adults, and unfortunately Clarke and Lexa both had the real world to tend to the next day.

The second Raven was buckled into her seat she was out. Clarke and Lexa enjoyed the somewhat silent drive as they whispered back and forth to each other. Before they knew it they were parked in front of Clarke’s apartment, neither wanting to make the first move to indicated that their date was over but a snore from Raven quickly put things back into focus.

“I had an amazing time tonight Clarke,” Lexa says her eyes burning with passion.

“I did too Lexa, I have to say I’m really thankful that Raven asked me out for you,” the blond teases.

“She did not ask you out! She just…She just expedited the process is all,” Lexa replies seemingly satisfied with her response.

“Sure Commander, whatever you say."

Clarke’s eyes scan Lexa’s face, the soft glow of the moon hitting the girl from the sunroof makes her look…almost surreal. As if the entire date was just a daydream and it was nearing time for Clarke to wake up but when she feels the girl’s lips pressed against hers again she knows she isn’t dreaming.

“I’d like to do this again,” Clarke whispers against her lips.

“I’d like that too Clarke,” Lexa says. “And not that I don’t love you and Raven getting along but I’d like our next date to be a bit more adult if that’s okay by you?"

“Are you propositioning me Miss Woods?” Clarke smiles before giving her a soft peck.

“I just meant,” Lexa smiles, kissing her back. “I’d like a date where neither of us had to spell something out in front of the k-i-d."

“Really? Because the spelling really worked for me,” Clarke smirks while Lexa playfully swats her on the arm. The girls stay like that for a few moments, their bodies stretched against the center console, hands touching arms, moving to cup each other’s face before another soft snore from Raven distracts them.

“I should get going,” Clarke says while her eyes say something else.

“I’ll see you soon?” And Clarke can’t help the feeling she gets hearing the hope laced within those simple words.

“Yes, I’m going to demand it,” Clarke smiles giving her a long last kiss before exiting her car. “Goodnight Lexa."

“Goodnight Clarke."

Lexa waits for the girl to make it safely inside her apartment before pulling onto the street but she stops when she feels her phone vibrate. Seeing as she’s still parked she decides to take a peek and finds a text message from Clarke along with a photo from earlier that night. Lexa quickly sends a response before saving the selfie of the three girls sporting funny go-kart helmets and goggles. Yes, Lexa was definitely going to owe Octavia for this one.


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, surprise.

It’s been almost three weeks since their first date and Clarke has been growing incredibly anxious for another but it wasn’t from lack of trying either. It was scheduling and Clarke really couldn’t get upset at that. Between her shifts at the hospital and Lexa working two jobs, schooling and being a mother, finding a time that worked for both girls was no easy task.

“But you guys have talked through right?” Anya asks handing Clarke her coffee, whose eyes light up at the smell of coffee.

“We have,” Clarke nods, “but it’s just not the same. Lexa graduates in two months so I know she’s really bogged down scheduling wise but I don’t know. I guess I don’t know how to ask to spend time with her without coming off as inconsiderate to her schedule."

Anya smirks hearing her best friend continue to ramble. It isn’t everyday that Clarke gets this flustered, especially in relationships.

“I think you should just ask her out again. If Lexa wasn’t interested she wouldn’t have confided in you let alone continue to talk to you Clarke."

Anya has a point but Clarke’s hesitancy is still apparent, “So I should just ask her out…That simple?"

“It’s that simple,” Anya smiles. “I’ve got surgery in an hour, but I’ll see you at home,” Anya stands and walks down the hall leaving Clarke to fiddle with her thumbs.

“Just call her Clarke…” the blonde whispers to herself as she pulls out her phone. “Just…call."

The phone rings for what feels like an eternity. She sighs in defeat as she pulls the phone away from her ear to hangup but stops when she hears a familiar voice on the other end.

_“Hello?"_

“Hi,” Clarke replies suddenly very shy.

_“I was just thinking about you Clarke."_

A smile immediately spreads across Clarke’s face, “May I ask in what manner?” Clarke flirts. There’s a bit of a pause on Lexa’s end and she can hear shuffling noises in the background.

_“In the manner that I unfortunately cannot share with you since I am in the presence of a child."_

Clarke frowns but part of her isn’t upset knowing that the other girl has been thinking about her in that way.

_“With that being said…I know I’ve been extremely busy but I’d really like to see you again."_

“I’d really like that too Lexa,” Clarke practically squeals. “I know this is a long shot but how about tomorrow?"

_“I can’t tomorrow."_

“Oh, that’s okay,” Clarke says trying to hide her disappointment.

_“I know this might also be a long shot…but how about tonight?"_

Clarke only has a few hours left of work and an even earlier shift in the morning, she knows she shouldn’t but she’s been dying to see Lexa and Raven again.

“Pick you up at 7?"

_“See you at 7 Clarke."_

“See you,” Clarke hangs up the phone and practically moonwalks down the hall to run and tell Anya before her next surgery.

* * *

“Raven, we have to get a move on it babe!” Lexa yells down the hall while she straightens her tie on for work. There may be many things she hates about being a server, but wearing a tie isn’t one of them because God bless could Lexa Woods pull off a tie. The door creaks open behind her and Lexa can see Raven peeking in through her mirror. “Hey pretty girl."

“Hi Mama,” Raven greets her clambering onto her bed with a rather unhappy expression.

“Raven, what’s wrong?” Lexa asks dropping to her knees in front of her daughter but Raven shakes her head. “Raven, is something bothering you?” Lexa inquires again.

“I don’t want you to leave…” Rave mumbles and Lexa’s heart shatters.

“I have a short shift this afternoon pretty girl and so after daycare I’ll come pick you up before taking you to Auntie O’s."

“I’m going to Auntie O’s tonight?” Raven asks her mood already improving.

“Just for a little yes, I’m going to go out with Clarke if that’s okay with you."

Raven’s eyes go even wider at the sound of Clarke’s name, “Dr. Clarke? Can I stay with you instead!"

Lexa’s heart melts at Raven’s excitement of seeing Clarke but there’s a part of her that just wants Clarke all to herself. How can she tell her daughter no?

She can’t.

 _Clarke’s going to hate me._ Lexa thinks as she pulls out her phone to send the girl a quick text.

 **Lexa:** You’re going to hate me...

 **Clarke:** I could never Lexa. What’s wrong?

 **Lexa:** I may have told Raven that you and I were going out tonight and she asked to come along…I didn’t have the heart to tell her no…You should’ve seen her face when I told her…I’m sorry Clarke.

 **Clarke:** Lexa! You scared me! I thought you were canceling on me! I love Raven, our date will even be better now that I’ve got both Woods girls :)

 **Lexa:** You’re amazing Clarke Griffin.

 **Lexa:** See you tonight beautiful.

“Alright kiddo, to daycare we go!” Lexa says offering her back to her daughter for a piggyback ride.

Lexa drops Raven off at daycare before heading into her job at the restaurant. The first few shifts after being turned down for manager were definitely awkward for brunette but she didn’t let that hinder her work. She still excelled at everything she did as an assistant manager and often times doing duties meant for new "boss", Cage. A term she uses loosely considering that Cage is an old friend and the restaurant owner’s son.

“Well don’t you look dapper,” Cage announces as Lexa makes her way into the restaurant and towards the bar to clock in for her shift.

“Cage, don’t get jealous because I can pull this look off better than you can,” Lexa winks before taking a seat at the bar for their staff meeting.

“Touché Woods,” Cage replies before addressing everyone else in the room. “So I wanted to say thank you for all your welcoming wishes and help during my transition to manager. I know it hasn’t been easy for us, but I assure you that the new partners believe that the new transition and new menu items will really bring customers in. With that being said, I thought it’d be a great idea to try the new dishes and wine pairings.”

The room buzzes with excitement and lots of nods an eager hungry faces. Lexa helps the line cooks bring out the food and takes post at the front of the room helping explain what each dish is and which wines would be suitable for each as well. Thirty minutes later after the staff is well fed, an alarm goes off in the background indicating only fifteen minutes until they were open for dinner. Lexa begins to collect the plates but is quickly called away and into the manager’s office.

“So that went well,” Lexa says plopping herself down into one of Cage’s chairs.

“I’d say so…These new partners…they’re definitely something,” Cage sighs as he signs another form on his desk.

“Surely your dad can take care of them?” Lexa asks.

“One of them, yes…but the other…not so much,” Cage says letting out another sigh. “He’s younger than I am and to borrow a phrase from you, a royal douche."

Lexa laughs but when she sees Cage not joining in she sits up, “Cage is it really that bad?"

“You’ll see for yourself, he’s just arrived,” Cage says checking his phone. “I know this goes without saying but…Lexa, you and I know both know you were meant for this job and I’m sorry that father thought…"

Lexa cuts him off, “Cage, your dad and Marcus did made the right decision. Plus with school ending and Raven…you know that this was the right decision. Now let’s go show this guy what he’s got on his hands."

Cage and Lexa walk down the short hallway, side-by-side, to the front of the restaurant. A young man exits a flashy and clearly unnecessary Escalade, wearing a black leather jacket with his collar popped and matching black jeans and white shirt.

“This guy looks like a fucking idiot…” Cage murmurs under his breath and Lexa has to stifle her laughter because their guest of honor is now entering the restaurant.

“Mr. Collins, I’m -“ but before Cage can finish his greeting the young man is cutting him off.

“Call me Finn, Mr. Collins was my father. You’re Cage I assume?” he asks.

“Yes, that would be me, GM of this place and this is Lexa, assistant manager."

Lexa gives a smirk of acknowledgement, keeping herself calm and cool as Finn gives her a once over.

“Lexa, I’d say you wear those suspenders quite well,” Finn says flashing her what she assumes is his million dollar smile.

“Well they are the uniform Mr. Collins,” she replies.

“I suppose so…” Finn says, his eyes never leaving Lexa’s body. Cage sensing the awkward and definitely inappropriate tension cuts in and directs Finn over to the bar to meet the rest of the staff leaving Lexa to shudder in disgust. The brunette takes a moment to herself, reminding herself to remain calm knowing very well she could tear that loser apart with her bare hands but because he’s her boss…and not to mention a partner of the restaurant, Lexa has no choice but to endure the agony. She pulls out her phone and quickly sends a quick text.

 **Lexa:** Can’t wait to see you Clarke. Just met my new boss and he’s an absolute pompous jackass.

 **Clarke:** :( Sorry Commander. I’ll be sure to give you some extra kisses later to make up for it.

 **Lexa:** Holding you to that. See you soon. xx

Lexa smiles, pocketing her phone in her back pocket. Work was definitely going to be a handful.

* * *

“Clarke! Clarke!” Anya yells but to no avail is only met by silence. “Clarke!” Anya calls out again and this time the Clarke emerges.

“Jesus An, I had to pee."

“Well I’m sorry I thought this was your date we were setting up for…not mine!"

“Oh shut up An, you were the one who offered to help,” Clarke says shaking her head. Anya decides to distract herself in the kitchen, no doubt raiding Clarke’s fridge but the blonde doesn’t mind, she’s too busy pulling sheets out and laying them on the floor around the empty canvases laying against the exposed bricked walls. Once satisfied with the layout Clarke takes a step back and takes a look at her handiwork. The loft fully coming into view as if she was seeing it for the first time.

_“Mom, was a blindfold really necessary?” the clearly frustrated blonde whines._

_“Yes sweetheart and if you would just give me 1 more minute, I’d take the damn thing off,” Abby replies. “Now just stand still, I have to get the door.” Abby leaves her daughter in the middle of the hall as she fumbles for the right set of keys. She opens the door and turns on the light quickly before returning to her daughter and moving her slowly into the loft._

_“Okay, Clarke you can take the blindfold off."_

_The blonde removes her blindfold and blinks rapidly, adjusting to the light around her. Confused, Clarke turns around to face her mother._

_“Mom…what is this?"_

_Clarke sees a photo on one of the counters, a picture of a younger version of herself on her dad’s shoulders._

_“This…” Abby begins, “this was your father’s workshop. I hated him tinkering in the garage all those years and finally convinced him to get a workshop…And before he…” Tears begin to well in her eyes and Clarke rushes to her mother’s side immediately but Abby pulls away insisting she’s okay. “Before he…He wanted you to have this place. A studio, an apartment, whatever you want it to be."_

_“Mom…I can’t,” the blonde says already crying herself._

_“You can Clarke and you will,” Abby smiles as she walks through to the big living area. “It’s funny…When I made your dad get this place I hated him being so far but I saw the inspiration it gave him and he knew it would give you the same."_

_“Mom I already have an apartment with Anya."_

_“I know but this place is paid off and your father would have wanted it this way. I’m not saying live here, I’m saying keep it and use it for when you need that little bit of inspiration."_

_Clarke nods her head and she pulls her mom into an embrace, “I’ll make him proud."_

“Earth to Clarke,” Anya says waving a glass of wine in her face. “You still in there?"

“What?” Clarke asks blinking. “Oh yeah…Sorry I just…It’s been awhile since I’ve been here."

Anya nods her head, understanding that the only times Clarke really uses her loft is when she’s deeply troubled or in need of some space so her best friend was excited that Clarke was finally going to bring good memories to the place.

“Hey best friend? Lexa and Raven are going to love this. I’ve never seen you like this Clarke…I can tell she’s important to you so give yourself some credit and stop worrying."

Clarke nods and lets out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding until now. “I’ve gotta go but have a great time tonight okay?” Anya gives her roommate a quick peck on the cheek and sees herself out. Clarke turns back to the living area and goes to straighten out a few of the canvases and rearranges the paint, when she’s finally satisfied she heads upstairs to get changed.

Before she knows it, it’s 7 o’clock and Clarke’s pulling up to Lexa’s apartment with two bouquets of flowers, smiling to herself knowing that both girls would get a kick out of it. The blonde walks up the steps and presses the familiar buzzer labeled, ‘Woods,' and her heart goes into overdrive. It takes about 5 whole seconds for the buzzer to go off indicating Clarke could proceed to the interior doors. Clarke waits for the elevator to reach the ground floor but the antsy part of her refrains from waiting and instead opts for the stairs.

The four flights of stairs gave Clarke some time to get a hold of herself. She was nervous and she really had no idea why. It wasn’t like this was their first date, but the anticipation of seeing Lexa again after so many weeks was nerve-wrecking. Clarke finds herself standing in front of Lexa’s door unable to move. From the other side she can hear music playing and what sounds like a pouty Raven wanting to wear something that was in Lexa’s words, “absolutely out of the question.” Clarke laughs and feels her nerves dissipate as she finally musters up the courage to knock on the door.

Again the blonde can hear movement on the other side as Raven yells, “CLARKE’S HERE!”

“Raven…Get away from the door so I can let her in,” Lexa pleas but from looks of it when the door opens, Raven did no such thing.

“Hi Clarke!” Raven squeals pulling the girl into the apartment.

“Hi Monkey,” Clarke says bending down to hug the girl. “I brought you something,” Clarke whispers as she presents Raven with her flowers to which the younger girl gasps at how, “bootiful,” it was.

“That was very kind of you Clarke,” Clarke straightens up and her eyes find the familiar green hues that she’s missed so much. Careful not to step in front of Raven, Clarke quickly sidesteps the younger girl and throws her arms around Lexa.

“Well hello,” Lexa grins into Clarke’s shoulder as the blonde continues to hug her. “I missed you too Clarke."

The blonde finally pulls away, her hands still entertained with each other around Lexa’s neck. She hadn’t realized how much she missed being around Lexa until seeing her for the first time in weeks. Forgetting Raven was there Clarke pulls Lexa into a kiss, a kiss that Lexa very much responds to.

“Yuck, get a room!” the girls break apart at the sudden outburst from Raven and while Clarke laughs, Lexa raises a brow, “Raven…Where did you hear that?"

“Auntie O…” the girl admits, twirling her bouquet and Lexa just shakes her head, turning her attention back to Clarke.

“Hi,” the girl’s cheeks are flushed as she remembers what the two were doing just prior to their interruption and as Lexa goes in for another kiss, Clarke finds this the best time to shove her bouquet of flowers into Lexa’s face but the brunette just laughs.

“They’re beautiful Clarke,” Lexa graciously accepts her flowers and takes Raven’s as well before heading into the kitchen to place them in a vase. When she returns she finds Clarke and Raven on the floor playing with a puzzle.

“I wasn’t gone that long…” Lexa scowls and both girls laugh in reply. Clarke stands and pulls Raven up with her, she extends her other hand to Lexa before pulling them both out the door to their date.

Once again Lexa finds herself trapped in a car with Clarke and Raven belting out Taylor Swift…and if it weren’t for Clarke’s hand intertwined with hers she’d be trying to jump ship. Thankfully though, Clarke parks and rushes to the other side of the car to open the door for Lexa and then for Raven.

“This isn’t your apartment,” Lexa states rather matter-of-factly.

“Well done Sherlock,” Clarke smirks as she goes to re-lace their hands and move toward the door.

The trio enters the industrial looking building and when Clarke hits the button marked PH, Lexa’s eyes go wide.

“Clarke where are we…"

A wide smile spreads across the blonde’s face, her eyes sparkling with mystery. Lexa knew she wouldn’t get the answers she was looking for. Not yet at least. The bell dings and the doors slide open. Raven bounces out pulling a laughing Clarke behind her, and leaving an eye-rolling Lexa behind. Clarke fumbles with the keys out of nervousness but once she manages to get the door open she hears two gasps from behind her.

Lexa and Raven cross the threshold with Clarke quickly behind them.

"Clarke, this is..."

"Dr. Clarke this is awesome!" Raven excitedly jumps up and down.

"Welcome to my studio...well loft. Studio loft," Clarke says, moving to turn on a few lights.

"This is beautiful Clarke," Lexa replies still in awe as she eyes the various pieces of art hanging from the floor to wall ceiling. Raven meanwhile has found the art smock clearly bought for her and wastes no time in putting it on.

"Look at me mama!" Raven exclaims.

"Raven, you shouldn't touch things that aren't yours sweetheart," Lexa says already moving to take it off her daughter but Clarke stops her and instead pulls her into a hug.

"This is my date and I say Raven can explore all she wants," Clarke grins and Lexa can't refuse.

"As you wish Clarke," Lexa bows her head slightly and Clarke presses a soft kiss on her forehead before pulling away and going to help Raven properly tie her smock. Clarke finds her own and quickly ties her on.

"Joining us Lexa or are you just going to watch?" Clarke smirks holding out an extra smock for the brunette. When Lexa joins the girls, all three take off their shoes, roll up their sleeves and put their hair in messy buns.

"So, I thought since you two have shared with me a few of your favorite things, I'd share one of my favorite things to do. Paint," Clarke gestures to the empty canvasses. Raven's practically jumping with glee as Clarke goes to open up various paint colors and spreading a range of brushes of all shapes and sizes for them to use. Clarke wastes no time in grabbing a medium sized brush and dipping it into her newfound favorite color, green.

Raven instantly follows suit as she grabs a smaller brush and aggressively dips it into the red paint causing a few splotches of paint to splash. Raven drops the brush and her eyes begin to well up with tears and instead of Lexa, it's Clarke who gets to her first.

"Raven, don't cry monkey. You have no idea what you just made. Look sweetheart, look at what you made."

Raven stops rubbing her eyes to look at her previously blank canvas to find beautiful splotches of red paint that at first glance look almost intentional.

"Art doesn't always come in one way. Sometimes art comes from accidents and you just learn to go with it. Watch."

Clarke grabs a clean brush and dips it into the shade of blue similar to her eyes and sort of waves it at her canvas sending random spots of blue flying onto the bits of green already settling in. Raven squeals but starts to giggle when Clarke begins to repeat the action with other colors. Lexa watches how beautifully Clarke moves, truly in her element.

"And sometimes Raven..." Clarke says, dipping her finger in a jar of blue paint, "sometimes you can get really creative," Clarke turns to face Lexa and smears the paint ever so lightly on Lexa's cheek, "and use your fingers." Lexa's left gaping and Clarke is smirking as Raven is howling with laughter at how funny her mommy looks with paint on her.

"You're lucky you're cute Griffin," Lexa says with a mischievous grin already dipping her finger in red paint unbeknownst to Clarke. The blonde is laughing with the younger girl and when she looks up Lexa is only inches from her face. Clarke's pulse quickens and just as she leans in for a kiss, Lexa pulls away and swipes the paint on Clarke's cheek.

"You'll pay for that Lexa."

"I intend to Clarke," and Lexa turns back to her canvas and begins to paint.

* * *

The girls paint for almost another hour before Raven sits on the floor, a smile of satisfaction in her painting creeping across her face.

“It’s beautiful pretty girl,” Lexa says taking a seat next to her daughter. After Raven’s first canvas of splotches, the younger Woods decided to create a new painting which included a crooked pink house, a black car, three stick figures, and a questionable looking brown blob.

“It’s us mama!” Raven giggles.

“Oh yeah?” Lexa asks. “Who’s that?” the brunette points towards the other tall stick figure with yellow hair.

“That’s Clarke, Mama!” Raven says with pride. Lexa catches Clarke’s eye and sees the faint pink hue spread across her cheeks.

“And what’s this?” Lexa questions pointing to the brown blob without taking her eyes off of Clarke.

“That’s a puppy!"

“But baby we don’t have a puppy…"

“My birthday’s coming up…” Raven pouts.

“Your birthday’s coming up?” Clarke inquires.

“Yes! I’m gonna be this many!” Raven holds up her hand but only shows four fingers and Lexa chuckles.

“One more finger Raven,” Lexa says holding her hand up as an example.

“Yeah, like I said…I’m gonna be this many!” Raven holds up her hand, this time with the right amount of fingers.

“Well now that we’ve got that covered, what do you say we get cleaned up for and get some food in our tummy’s!” Clarke wipes her semi-painted hands on her smock and Raven amazed at the colors transferring from Clarke’s hands to her apron takes it upon herself to place a fresh layer of paint on her hands on leaving handprints on her smock. Clarke smiles as she follows the girl’s lead and paints a layer of green on her left hand and openly places it on Lexa’s stomach while Lexa does the same to Clarke’s and then Raven’s.

It’s almost 9PM when the girl’s get cleaned up but thankfully dinner wasn’t anything too complicated. Clarke ahead of time bought various cheeses and thought grilled-cheese and tomato soup would be best for Raven, not to mention it was one of her guilty pleasures. After dinner, Clarke and Lexa only had eyes for each other. Raven disappeared to the couch, falling asleep in a matter of minutes.

“Clarke, this has been probably the best date I have ever been on,” Lexa gushes.

“Well I am honored to have pleased the Commander,” she flirts back and Lexa blushes.

“May I ask you something Clarke?”

“Of course."

“This loft…Why don’t you-"

“Why don’t I live here?” Clarke gives her a small smile and Lexa understands that she must get this question quite a bit. The blonde finishes the rest of her beer before continuing with her story. “This was my father’s workshop before it was ever my studio. My mom made my dad get it after he caused too much noise at home,” she smiles at the memory. “When he passed away he left the place to me."

“Oh Clarke, I’m sorry."

The blonde shakes her head, “It’s okay. It’s been almost three years now. It was a car accident and they said it was quick, he wouldn’t have suffered much.” Lexa’s hand goes to caress Clarke’s and the blonde’s eyes brighten. “He didn’t suffer, that’s all that matters but he left me this place and I turned it into a studio. It’s my home away from home but…” she pauses. “I could never see myself living here. There are too many memories…too many…"

Lexa cuts her off, “It’s okay Clarke, you don’t have to explain. We all have places like that and sometimes it’s best not to feed those memories, but simply knowing they’re there is enough."

“We’ve all got our baggage,” Clarke adds.

“We do, but we survive no matter how much they might weigh us down."

Clarke nods, "I tend to come here when I’ve had a bad day and need to release whatever demons I have but I thought…I thought it might be time to make better memories here.” Lexa blushes, “I hope that tonight falls under that category."

Clarke doesn’t answer the girl but instead closes the distance between them and plants a gentle kiss on Lexa’s cheek, “I’d say this is going to be a memory I remember for quite a long time.” The girls bask in the glow from the city lights reflecting through the windows. Finally Clarke pulls them from their flirtatious bubble to clean up from dinner, once again the girls find themselves working in tandem as if they’ve done it for years. And it’s until Lexa yawns that she realizes how late it is.

“Is it really almost 11?”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Clarke says pulling Lexa towards her for another kiss. Their lips move against each other and Lexa deepens the kiss with a swipe of her tongue on Clarke’s bottom lip. The blonde moans in reply and Lexa takes it upon herself to back Clarke into the counter and in one swift movement lifts her up onto the counter. Clarke instinctively wraps her legs around Lexa, drawing her closer. The heat between them is unbearable and soon enough in between stolen kisses and breathless gasps, Clarke is nipping at Lexa’s neck and neither girl is able to ignore the growing heat beneath their layers of clothing.

“Clarke…” Lexa whimpers and the blonde nods and goes back to placing open mouthed kisses along Lexa’s collarbone while her hands skirt their way up her shirt. “Clarke, wait.” The blonde stops immediately and pulls away from the other girl, pupils blown as the want is even more apparent when she takes in Lexa’s disheveled appearance.

“I, I’m sorry Lexa,” Clarke apologizes.

“No, no. I’m not sorry Clarke,” Lexa laughs. “I just…Raven’s in the next room and I’d really like the first time we…” Lexa hopes Clarke gets the message she’s alluding to but it seems the blonde was going to make Lexa actually say it. “Clarke, I’d just like the first time we sleep together to be…"

“To be…” Clarke teases as her hands trace soft circles on Lexa’s exposed hip bones.

“You’re going to be difficult aren’t you,” Lexa exhales.

“You’re one to talk Commander,” Clarke teases placing another kiss on the corner of Lexa’s lips. If it hadn’t been for Clarke’s legs wrapped around the other girl, Lexa would’ve melted to the floor at her touch.

“I believe you were saying something Lexa?” Clarke teases again arching her brow.

“I…I just want the first time we’re together to be…perfect."

Clarke smiles and holds her hands up in surrender, “I can respect that Lexa. I’d like it to be perfect as well."

“Not to say that this isn’t perfect but…"

“…But Raven,” Clarke smiles. “I understand. I will however insist that you two spend the night. Raven’s already passed out and it’s not like we haven’t spent the night together before…"

Lexa watches the way Clarke talks…The way her cheeks blush slightly at the mention of spending the night or the way her eyes seem to smile so big when she talks about Raven. Taking a page out of Clarke’s playbook, Lexa shuts the girl up with a simple kiss to the lips before pulling away to blow out the dining room candles. When Lexa turns back around to find Clarke, she’s surprised to see Clarke leaning over Raven and gently tucking the girl in and if it weren’t for the lack of lighting, Lexa would’ve been able to see Clarke eyeing her as well. Clarke quickly ghosts over to Lexa’s side and gently tugs on her hand to lead her up the stairs. Clarke pulls an oversized shirt for herself while handing Lexa a pair of shorts and a tank top. The girls quickly dress and situate themselves in bed.

“Thank you again for tonight Clarke,” Lexa whispers close to Clarke’s lips.

“Thank you for being here."

Lexa smiles and even in the dark Clarke would have to be blind to miss that smile. The blonde captures the brunette’s lips in hers, kissing her in a soft yet earnest way to reassure the girl she still wants her even after tonight. Lexa hums in response and Clarke smiles against her lips. She gives her another quick peck before kissing Lexa’s forehead. It doesn’t take long for either girl to fall asleep with their hands intertwined and foreheads against each other.

* * *

A loud bang echoes through the loft jolting Lexa from her sleep. The banging continues and she immediately rushes down the stairs to check on Raven. Thankfully the girl was both okay and still asleep but the banging still continued.

“Clarke."

Lexa’s sharp voice was enough to wake the sleeping girl and Clarke was immediately at her side and adorably quite cute still being half-asleep but Lexa had no time to tell her as the noise from the door continued again.

“Clarke, who could it be at this hour?"

“I don’t know, only a few people know about this place.” Clarke walks to the kitchen and grabs the wooden bat she promised her mom she’d keep for protection and flicks on the light in the dining area near the door with Lexa at her side. The door unfortunately doesn’t have a peep hole, something Lexa makes a note of to tell the girl to get for the future. Clarke opens the door just a crack a first but when she sees who’s standing on the other side she lets go causing the door to swing open completely.

“Finn."

“Clarke."

“Mr. Collins?"

“Suspenders?"

“Mama?"


	7. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Mr. Collins.

“Mama?!” Finn’s eyes open wide as he looks to the younger Woods girl and back to Clarke.

“She’s my daughter, Mr. Collins,” Lexa says lifting her sleepy daughter up into her arms. “And we were just going."

Before Clarke can manage any words to the other girl Lexa’s left her side and is busy gathering her things. Clarke turns back to Finn and a small smile forms on his lips.

“Finn…Now really isn’t the time."

“Come on Princess…You have to be happy on some level to see me…aren’t you?"

“No Finn…I’m really -"

Lexa and Raven appear once again and Finn politely steps aside to let the girls through. “It was a pleasure to see you again…”

“Lexa,” the brunette fills in the blank with a sharp tone and a slight bow of her head before she leaves, once again without a word from Clarke.

Clarke watches the two girls hurry themselves down the hall, towards the elevator. It isn’t until Lexa steps inside that the two make eye-contact for the last time that night and Clarke tries so hard to ignore the pang of guilt she feels in her stomach. The doors close and Clarke snaps back to reality as a ghost of her past stands right in front of her.

“Earth to Clarke, you okay there Princess?"

“Finn, what are you doing here?"

“I just came in today, thought I’d stop by and say hi,” Finn flashes his goofy grin that once used to make the blonde swoon, but tonight it didn’t hold the same effect.

“It’s late Finn,” Clarke replies gripping the door still not allowing any space for Finn to enter.

“I know, but I drove by and saw one of the lights on. I thought what’re the odds, must be meant to be,” he grins again.

“We’ll talk tomorrow Finn,” Clarke says going to close the door. “Where are you staying, I’ll come to you."

“I actually didn’t get a place…” Finn says ruffling his hair. Clarke rolls her eyes and cracks the door open a bit more.

“Fine, you can take the couch but just for tonight."

“You were always so kind to me Princess."

“I mean it Finn and don’t even try to come upstairs."

Finn gives a mock salute and Clarke watches him from the upstairs as Finn takes up a spot on the couch. The blonde grabs her phone in hopes of seeing a message from Lexa, deep down knowing she probably wouldn’t, but still she’s hopeful. Her inbox is marked zero and the pang of guilt echoes through her again as she tries to lull herself to sleep, knowing it was pointless.

* * *

She knew she should be sleeping. She knew she should rest up for her double shift that day but the only thing she was concerned with was the steady rhythm of her punches as her fists made contact with the punching bag. Lexa’s feet moved in flawless motion as the bag swayed with her. Punch after punch, she slowly felt her frustration leave her body.

“You’re going to cost me a new bag aren’t you?"

Lexa turns to the deep voice to find Lincoln standing in the doorway. She steadies the punching bag, allowing herself a moment to breathe before turning back to her workout.

“Put it on my tab,” she mutters back.

“O said I’d find you here,” Lincoln says making his way opposite of Lexa to hold the bag in place. “Wanna talk about it?"

“No,” the brunette replies with a quick one, two punch. Lincoln nods and continues to help Lexa workout. They work quietly for the next few minutes until Lexa speaks.

“We had a perfect night,” Lexa says without looking up from the punching bag. “It’s the most alive I’ve felt in a long time…And then,” Lexa leans her body into her next punch that even Lincoln feels a soft blow, “and then, some guy showed up at her loft that she claims not many people know about…Which if that’s true,” another punch, “Why did he?"

“Who is he?” Lincoln asks repositioning himself.

“Get this…he’s the new partner at the restaurant…This douchy, greasy-haired, idiot. I don’t know how they know each other but him showing up at 4 in the morning sure as hell says enough to me."

Lexa finally calls it quits and slumps over to the wall to catch her breath and grab some water.

“So what did Clarke say?” Lincoln asks, joining her on the floor.

“Nothing. I grabbed Raven and left."

“She didn’t -"

“No,” Lexa says cutting him off. “She didn’t try to stop me."

Lincoln shakes his head, clearly in disapproval of how Clarke’s handling on the situation. Lexa may be Octavia’s best friend but Lincoln and Lexa bonded over their love of boxing and quickly became good friends, something that Octavia always loved.

“And before you ask, no, I’m not going to reach out to her. This clearly was a mistake."

Lincoln nods his head and Lexa smiles, she always loved the silentness that came with Lincoln, knowing that he only really spoke up when he felt like something had to be said.

Others begin to file into the gym and with an exhausted sigh, Lexa begins to collect her belongings to head back home.

“Will you tell Octavia thank you for me?”

Lincoln nods, “Of course. Raven is always welcome."

“Thanks Linc. I’ll see you later."

* * *

“What’s with the exhausted look? A cute girl keep you up all night?” Anya hip bumps Clarke as the blonde stands waiting for her coffee to brew.

“More like a certain boy,” Clarke yawns.

“What?” Anya asks.

“Finn. Finn showed up in the middle of the night, no place to stay, nothing. Lexa totally freaked out, took Raven and left."

Clarke sighs as she slumps into one of the beaten down sofas in the doctor’s lounge. The blonde takes a long sip of her coffee that’s definitely too hot and not in the least strong enough but she gulps it down like it’s all she has left.

“That little fucker…” but Clarke waves her friend off.

“I don’t know why he’s here, I didn’t ask. He slept on the couch, I don’t plan on seeing him again."

Anya rolls her eyes, “You know it’s never that simple with that kid."

“Here’s the kicker…him and Lexa seem to know each other."

“Interesting…Tell me more…"

Clarke takes another sip, “That’s all I know. Lexa left…She left and I…"

Anya offers up her best sympathetic but before she can say anything the intercom interjects.

_“Paging Dr. Griffin, Dr. Griffin you have a call."_

“Duty calls, see you later."

Clarke makes her way down to the nurses station, her friend Jasper points over to the phone and holds up three fingers indicating what line her call was on.

_“Dr. Griffin."_

The voice sends chills down her spine and not the good kind but Clarke immediately knows who it is.

“Finn, I don’t know what you think is going to happen but this is borderline stalking."

_“I just wanted to say thank you for letting me crash. Look Clarke, I know you don’t want anything to do with me but please, just let me explain."_

“I don’t have time for anymore explanations Finn. I had two years of nothing but excuses from you."

_“No. Clarke, listen. Please. I’ll be at the restaurant on 3rd and 70th street all day, it’s called Dropship. Just come and let me explain. I have to go but, please Clarke. Please."_

The line goes dead and Clarke tries to muster up as much of an annoyed look as possible but there was something in Finn’s voice that Clarke couldn’t ignore. She shakes off the feeling as best as she can, chugs the rest of her coffee and decides that it’s time she stop worrying about her own problems and get to work.

* * *

For the first time since she started at Dropship, Lexa’s never had any hesitations about working there. Her boss was fair, he understood her situation and even let Raven hang out in the backroom with him when her babysitter backed out on her and she had a shift. If it weren’t for her family there, Lexa wouldn’t have been able to afford half of what she has now.

And now she finds herself wishing she never had to set foot in that place again. The obnoxious black car is sitting out front and Lexa is ill-prepared to deal with Mr. Collins but alas she doesn't have much of a choice.

The warmth of the restaurant greets the brunette and it hadn’t occurred to her how long she’d actually been standing outside, or how cold it actually was beginning to get.

“Lexa, boss wants to see you,” Cage says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. The brunette decides to bite the bullet as she quickly makes her way to the back and knocks softly on her new boss’ door.

“Come in."

“Mr. Collins, you requested to see me,” Lexa says not moving from where she’s standing.

“Please, call me Finn and have a seat,” Finn flashes a smile that Lexa is so sure has gotten this kid out of so many problems before but she isn't going to buy it. She takes a seat and resumes her previous blank stare at the kid sitting behind a desk that’s obviously way too big for him."

“What’s on your mind Mr. Collins?” the bite in her question isn’t lost on him.

“I just wanted to clear the air. I don’t know what your connection is to Clarke, I just want to apologize for last night."

“Mr. Collins, with all due respect, I prefer to keep my personal life away from my work life as much as possible."

Finn nods his head, “I appreciate that, but please just know that I’m sorry. Clarke and I…Our history is…complicated but, that’s nothing that needs to be discussed. Have a good shift."

With a quick bow of her head Lexa shuffles out of Finn’s office in search of Cage. Today’s shift was definitely going to be nothing but a pain in the ass.

* * *

She doesn't really know why she's there, knowing that nothing could be said that would in any way salvage what they had, yet Clarke finds herself standing across the street from Dropship. She feels the tingling feeling in her fingertips that she only gets when she’s nervous. She blushes when she remembers the last time she felt that way, just a few days ago when her hand brushed against Lexa’s.

Lexa.

Clarke sighs and finally crosses the street. The glow from inside the restaurant makes her smile, everything seems so lively and then it hits her like a ton of bricks. Standing behind the bar is Lexa, smiling and joking around with another employee.

Clarke’s ready to back out when suddenly Lexa looks up, the smile fades instantly and the tingling in Clarke’s fingertips starts pulsing at an all time high. There’s no turning back so without further hesitation Clarke enters the restaurant.

“Welcome to Dropship, will you be dining with us this evening?” the hostess asks.

“Um…I’m…I’m here to see Finn Collins,” Clarke replies her eyes suddenly fixated anywhere but at Lexa.

“Right, you must be Clarke,” the hostess says a bit too cheery for the blonde’s liking. “He reserved the best table in the house, right this way please!"

Clarke follows the young hostess to her table which of course is located along one of the sides of the bar. Why it was considered the best seat in the house she isn’t sure but when she finally takes a seat, she understands. From her seat in the back, Clarke gets a wide view of the restaurant and loves how all the walls somehow connect to create a beautiful mosaic masterpiece. From the furthest wall she can see a sunrise that subtly flows into the nighttime sky and as her eyes move further to the walls closest to her the constellations and mysterious dark galaxy.

“You like it Princess?” Clarke’s train of thought is suddenly interrupted as Finn takes the seat in front of her smiling the toothy grin that she used to swoon for.

“It’s a very beautiful piece of art,” is all she says.

“One of our employees did it actually. Lexa."

_Of course it was Lexa because she doesn't need a reason to fall for her even more._

Clarke just nods her head and silence falls between the two.

“So you wanted to speak with me?” Clarke asks finally breaking the torture.

“Yeah. I…Look I wanted you to come here today and see this place. I’m running it now. Dad finally thought it was time for me to learn some responsibility so…here I am, learning the family trade."

“That’s great Finn,” Clarke replies and she genuinely means it. Growing up Finn was always a prankster, always looking for his next source of trouble. It definitely got old after awhile and Finn’s father made sure it came to an end eventually. “I’m proud of you,” Clarke adds.

“Thanks, that means a lot coming from you, you know?"

Clarke blushes and before she can speak the sound of glass breaking echoes through the air.

“Shit, are you okay?"

“I’m fine Cage, relax."

“Lexa, you’re bleeding, that’s not okay."

After hearing she was bleeding, Clarke immediately stands up and makes her way around the bar. People are moving around her and the faint sound of Finn calling after her is in the background but doesn’t find it in her to care.

“Lexa are you okay?” Clarke’s voice is soft and endearing that Lexa can’t resist her.

“I’m…I’m okay. I just cut myself on that broken beer bottle,” she says pointing towards the bar.

“Well you’re losing a lot of blood,” Clarke scans the area around her and grabs a clean towel. “Here apply this to the cut. I don’t think you’ll need stitches but I need to check it out first to make sure there aren’t any shards of glass left."

“Look at my girl the hero!” Finn claps from the opposite end of the bar. “Good thing you were here Princess."

Before Clarke can dispute anything Finn’s said she feels Lexa pulling away from her. “I got it, thanks for the help.” Lexa wraps her hand in the towel and walks in the opposite direction with Cage quickly trailing after her.

“She’s a feisty one that friend of yours,” Finn chuckles. “Shall we?” Finn gestures towards their table and unable to formulate any words just nods and returns to her seat.

She stays at the restaurant for close to an hour, in which Finn just goes on and on about how much he’s changed and ready for that next step in his life, not so subtly hinting that it’s Clarke and somewhere in between his proposal of going out on a date Clarke interrupts him.

“Finn, I’m over you.”

The shutdown comes abruptly but Finn just gives her a shy smile while running his hand through his hair.

“Princess, you’re not even letting me finish."

“No, I’m finishing it for you. Finn, what we had…That was years ago. It was great when we had it you know? But things have changed. I’m changed and maybe in another time, in another world this might have been what I wanted, but I know that right now it isn’t. I’m sorry."

Finally accepting defeat, Finn nods. “It’s Lexa isn’t it?"

“What?"

“I spoke to her and she - "

Clarke interrupts again, “You had no right to talk to her."

“She’s my employee, as her boss I had to clear the air after last night,” Finn says defending himself. “Look, she didn’t say anything. All she said was she wanted to keep her personal life private, that’s it."

“Finn, I’m happy for you, everything you’ve done, it’s great but we haven’t spoken in years. I don’t know you and you certainly don’t know me anymore and I think I’ll take a page out of Lexa’s playbook and tell you that my personal life is private. See you around Finn."

Clarke grabs her purse and walks out, barely able to look back for fear that she might breakdown. Turning Finn Collins down is probably the hardest thing she’s had to do lately but there was only one person on her mind. Lexa.

* * *

Lexa had to go home early after cutting her hand earlier in the day, so this is where she finds herself, alone with a bloody towel on her couch.

“Mama!"

The voice of her heart echoes through the air and she can’t sit up fast enough to see her beautiful daughter bustle through the door with Octavia behind her.

“Well aren’t you just a walking train wreck,” Octavia says taking the seat across her best friend.

“Don’t get me started, it’s bad enough everyone saw, but Clarke and Finn were there.” a grumpy Lexa replies.

“Ah and the plot thickens!"

“Stop it O.” Lexa snaps.

“You should talk to her."

Lexa waves her hand causing her towel to fall, “I don’t need to talk to her again O. A guy, who also happens to be my boss showed up to her secret loft that not many people know about. End of story."

A disgusted face creeps onto Octavia’s face, “Well you’re going to have to see a doctor at some point because your hand is totally gross!"

Lexa takes a look at her hand and mutters a low fuck.  
“I can’t believe you made me do this."

“Lex, you’re hand is freaking disgusting,” Octavia replies. “Besides Lincoln said he could watch Rae so why not make this a best friend outing!"

Lexa groans, “You do realize we’re sitting in the emergency room both checking our emails right? I don’t really consider this to be bonding."

“True…BUT, you are stuck here so can you at least help me think up ways to get Lincoln to propose,” and this makes Lexa laugh. The two girls get caught up looking through Pinterest blogs that they don’t even see her walk in.

“Lexa! What’re you doing here?” a flash of blonde is suddenly at her side, holding up the injured hand. Lexa immediately jerks her hand away and looks at her.

“I’m in the emergency room, what does it look like?"

“Ouch Lex…” Octavia whispers but both girls still heard her. Sensing the tension Octavia decides to fill in the blanks for the doctor. “We’re just here to get Lexa’s hand checked out."

“You should’ve called me…” Clarke says looking at Lexa who was doing everything possible not to look at the doctor.

“…That’s what I said, “ Octavia says and she grabs her side as Lexa nudges her to shut up.

“Look, I can get you seen now, follow me,” Clarke says standing, extending a hand to Lexa but the brunette ignores her. “Fine don’t grab my hand but would you at least cut the stubbornness out and come back there? There’s only one doctor on call right now so you’re going to be here for a few more hours."

Lexa sighs and actually tosses around the odds of waiting but the pain gets to her too much that she gives in and follows the blonde. Octavia, not wanting to get involved any further with the lovers opts to raid the vending machines and stay in the waiting room instead.

“You really should have called Lexa,” Clarke says settling Lexa in one of the examination rooms. She grabs a pair of gloves and begins to unwrap the makeshift bandage.

“I told you I was fine,” Lexa bites back which she immediately regrets as she hisses out a sound of pain when Clarke begins to clean the wound.

“If you would stop being so stubborn and give me a chance, I’d be able to explain."

“Explain what Dr. Griffin?"

The formal pleasantry catches Clarke by surprise. Her eyes are no longer trained on the wound but at Lexa instead.

“Lexa…I’m sorry,” Clarke’s no longer treating Lexa’s wound but caressing her other hand instead. “Finn is someone from my past but he’s nothing to me now. Him being in town is news to me."

“I’m sorry Clarke, I can’t do this,” Lexa draws her hand back again.

“Lexa please. I’m asking you just hear me out.”

Lexa’s stubbornness is no match for Clarke’s pools of blue and so she nods and Clarke takes it as her cue to continue speaking while continuing to treat her cut.

“Finn and I were friends growing up. We were each other’s first boyfriend and girlfriend. We had that stupid high school love that bloomed into a serious college relationship but Finn was always trouble. He never took anything serious, after getting into some trouble at the university, his dad shipped him off to live with his uncle. That was really the last I heard of him, I was ready for more, he clearly wasn’t and after photos surfaced of him getting drunk at some LA nightclub with another girl on his arm, I was really over it too."

Lexa traces soft circles onto Clarke’s wrist, knowing that it probably isn’t easy for her to disclose all this but Clarke continues to speak.

“Finn showing up at my loft was the first time I’ve seen him since he was home for the holidays a few years back. When you saw me at the Dropship today, it was because Finn had asked me to come. I didn’t know what I was getting in to, I didn’t know you worked there, I didn’t know any of that."

“Clarke, it’s okay."

Clarke sighs a sigh of relief at how just a few words from the brunette can instantly calm her but she still pushes forth to explain.

“Finn basically was asking for me back, because after all these years, he’s finally ready,” she rolls her eyes. “He’s such an idiot, but Lexa I told him no. There are no feelings there anymore. There hasn't been for years. The only person…well people,” she pauses and looks at Lexa whose eyes have never left her face. “The only people I have feelings for are you and Raven."

Clarke finishes cleaning Lexa’s wound and goes to put the final bandage on but before she pulls away, she places a soft kiss on Lexa’s wound and gently places her hand back to her side.

“Clarke."

“Lexa."

“Come home with me."

It isn’t a question, it’s a statement, an affirmation that Lexa wants Clarke just as much she does and without hesitation Clarke nods yes.

“Seal it with a kiss?” Lexa flirts and Clarke knows that her girl is back.

Clarke leans in, still a bit hesitant but when Lexa meets her more than halfway, she finally lets out a sigh of relief. Their lips move against each other like it’s the last time they’ll kiss again and it’s only when Lexa pulls away that it ends.

“Sorry, did I bite too hard?” Clarke blushes.

“What? No!” Lexa laughs. “But don’t you have to work?"

“Oh, no. I just came here to pick up some paperwork, I’m all yours,” at the words of being all hers Clarke’s cheeks turn an even darker red. “I mean if, you know, you want to."

“I want you to be,” Lexa stands and it’s amazing how the few inches taller she is absolutely mesmerizes Clarke. Her blue eyes look up to meet the green ones that send her stomach into overdrive and she can’t help but reach up for another kiss.

“So, home?” Lexa whispers against her lips.

“Home."

* * *

When the two girls emerge back into the waiting room Octavia is nowhere to be seen. Clarke checks in with the receptionist and the blonde thanks her for her intel.

“Well it would appear that Octavia left right after she raided the vending machine, followed by the nurse’s coffee station."

Clarke laughs but Lexa blushes with embarrassment.

“Guess I’m your ride home then,” Lexa nods her head but Clarke just presses a soft kiss to her cheek and leads her to her car out front.

Shortly after Clarke is pulling into a spot in front of Lexa’s and the girls can barely contain themselves as they find themselves glued to each other’s side from the elevator to the front door of the apartment.

Lexa’s expecting a giddy Raven to greet them at the sound of the jingling keys but instead Lexa’s met with the faint smell of Thai food and her favorite record playing in the background.

“What the…” Lexa drops her keys on the kitchen table where she finds a post it in what is written in Octavia’s handwriting no doubt.

 _You’re welcome_  
_xx - O_

“Remind me to thank Octavia,” Clarke says as she wraps her arms around Lexa’s waist. The brunette turns around and captures the blonde’s lips instantly.

“Remind Octavia later,” she whispers against her lips. “Right now, I’m going to show you just how much I appreciate you Dr. Clarke."


	8. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey there hazel eyes.

Between tussled sheets and offset pillows lays a bundle of blonde and brunette hair. Suddenly, a scene that seems content and comfy is disrupted by loud footsteps thudding down the hall and a squeal of glee from a very soon-to-be five year old.

“MAMA! MAMA! I MISSED YOU!"

Raven bounces onto the bed awakening a sleeping Clarke and a very embarrassed Lexa.

“Raven! What are you -"

A smiling Octavia walks into the bedroom, pretending like she didn’t mean for that to happen. “My bad."

Lexa rolls her eyes as she covers up the patches of blonde hair peeking through the sheets, “Raven, can you take Auntie O out of here before I make her disappear forever?"

“Why would she disappear forever Mama?"

Before Lexa can respond a groaning Clarke interrupts her.

“What was that mama?” Raven asks almost scared.

“Yeah Lexa, _what_ was that or better yet, _who_ was that?” Octavia smirks but before Lexa can reply a sleepy Clarke emerges from the sheets.

“DOCTOR CLARK!” Raven squeals again.

Clarke’s eyes don’t widen in embarrassment nor does she try and hide herself, she instead sits up, and opens her arms to welcome Raven in an embrace.

“Hey monkey,” the blonde greets her. “You have fun at Auntie O’s?"

Raven clearly unaware of the situation of Clarke being in her mother’s bed just nods and hugs the doctor even tighter. “I had lots of fun! Auntie O and I made a cake and Uncle Lincoln watched Frozen with me!"

“That sounds amazing monkey!” Clarke replies.

Lexa watches the two interact, her doe-eyed look not going unnoticed by Octavia who picks that particular moment to clear her throat.

Raven and Clarke hop out of bed and making their way to the kitchen to make pancakes while Octavia takes up residency on Lexa’s bed.

“You’re welcome by the way,” Octavia singsongs before plopping onto the bed next to Lexa. “Is this where the magic happened?” Octavia says rather creepily while patting the bed.

“Octavia…"

As flashbacks of the night before flash the brunette, Lexa can’t even pretend to try to be mad at Octavia, if it weren’t for her, it never would’ve happened. “I suppose you’re looking for a thank you?"

“Amongst other things, yes,” Octavia laughs.

“Well thank you,” Lexa laughs while throwing a pillow at her best friend’s face before making a disgusted face herself. “Smells like breakfast is burning…” Lexa groans.

The two girls get out of bed, Lexa taking a bit longer to join the group as she looks for a suitable outfit to wear in front of her daughter. When they reach the kitchen a hyper Raven is running around the room frantically waving a towel around to clear the smoke that seems to be coming from the area by Clarke. Clarke on the other hand is doing her best to get under control what looks like a frying pan...

“I leave you two alone for two minutes,” Lexa mutters.

“I um…” an embarrassed Clarke turns around but Lexa’s smiling and the girl’s anxiety quickly leaves her body.

“How about we go out to brunch today?” Lexa asks kissing Clarke on the cheek and nothing but warm and fuzzies fill Clarke’s stomach. “Brunch sounds great."

* * *

“I’ll have the chocolate chip waffles, side of crispy bacon, side of hash browns, strawberry pancakes and an orange juice please!” A beaming Raven smiles as she finishes rattling off her order to the stumped waitress. The waitress looks at Lexa for some sort of confirmation but Lexa gives her none and instead begins to place her own order, followed by Clarke.

“I love this place Mama!” Raven says with glee and she rather aggressively colors on her children’s menu.

“I know sweetheart, but take it easy on those crayons okay? We can’t ask for another set again, it’s only been ten minutes."

Clarke laughs and enjoys the beautiful image of motherhood before her. I could do this all day. Raven must have said something funny because Lexa’s laughing again and all Clarke wants to do is hear that laugh forever. It isn’t until both green eyes are on her that realizes she’s been spacing out.

“Sorry, what was that?” Clarke asks not even trying to hide her embarrassment.

“Well Clarke, Raven here has just invited you to her birthday party next week,” Lexa smirks, well aware of why the blonde was so distracted.

Clarke breaks out into a big smile, “I’d never miss it Raven."

“Awesome! It’s going to be so much fun! We’re doing it at mommy’s work and there’s going to be balloons and food and toys and food and games and food and Uncle Lincoln will probably dress up like a clown and cake!”

Now it was Clarke’s turn to laugh as an overly excited Raven continues to go on and on about her totally exciting birthday party and that’s when it hit her, she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than with these two.

Their meals arrive and conversation is kept to a minimum as all three girls were quite famished, Lexa and Clarke especially and to Clarke’s surprise, Raven ate all of her food! Lexa lays down a few bills only to be stopped by the doctor who insists on treating her girls and with very little resistance, Lexa agrees with a shy smile.

The trio makes their way to the door, just in time as the lunch rush begins and Lexa almost loses Raven in the throng of people and accidentally knocks into a few people.

“Ah, sorry about th -"

“Lexa?"

Hazel eyes meet green ones for the first time in over three years and suddenly the world stops. Unable to find anything to say besides the name she’s cursed for years, she finally utters it.

“Costia."

“Lexa, I…it’s been a long time."

A whirlwind of emotions fill the still shocked brunette and she’s unable to keep up with any of them. It isn’t until she feels a tug at her arms that she comes back to reality.

“Mama, are you coming? Clarke wants to get ice cream!"

“Raven?” Costia asks.

Big brown eyes meet hazel ones and Raven unaware if she’s a stranger or not doesn’t know how to react but with her mother still silent, the girl responds for her.

“Yes, I’m Raven. Who are you?” Always blunt that one.

“Hello Raven, I’m Costia."

“Costia…You’re my other mommy!” The girl squeals and it breaks Lexa’s heart to hear how naive her daughter must be. The lunch crowd gets to be too much and Lexa still unable to say anything to her ex-lover, grabs her daughter’s hand and pulls her outside.

She feels it stirring in her, she’s going to panic and she can’t find it in herself to acknowledge the fact that her daughter is extremely confused. But suddenly familiar arms are around her and it isn’t until she sees wet blotches on Clarke’s shirt that she realizes she’s been crying.

“I’m here…Sh, Lexa, I’m here."

“Mama, why is Costia here?” Raven says still very unaware of the current situation.

“Costia’s here?” Clarke asks the protective tone in her voice booms.

“She’s inside Clarke. She said hello to me, she’s my other mommy!"

“She’s not your mother,” Lexa says finally breaking her silence and pulling away from Clarke.

“But Mama, you said that she -"

“We’ll talk about this at home Raven, let’s go.” Lexa straightens her posture and Clarke swears she’s never seen her look so intimidating and she knows Raven sees it too as she quietly nods her head and takes hold of Clarke’s hand to begin their walk back home.

* * *

Clarke, unsure if she should go inside follows Lexa into her home while the brunette immediately just walks to her room with Raven in tow. The last thing Clarke wants to do is leave Lexa knowing that if she were in her shoes, she’d want someone there, even if it was for silent support. So she does what she does best, she comforts. She puts the kettle on and raids Lexa’s cabinets in search of tea and a phone number.

Meanwhile in the bedroom a solemn Lexa sits on her bed, hanging her head while Raven sits cross-legged facing her.

“Mama…Did Costia do something to hurt you?” Raven asks.

“I’m sorry, this is hard for me to do. I know it’s still really confusing for you baby girl."

“It’s not confusing Mama, when someone hurts me, I get sad too. Except when Wicky hurts me, I just hurt him back,” Raven smiles and Lexa can’t help but laugh because her daughter, her saving grace is just absolutely amazing.

“Do you want to meet Costia?” Raven just shrugs.

“Do I have to call her mommy?” Raven asks.

“Not unless you want to,” Lexa replies her heart on the borderline of breaking for the second time that day.

“I don’t want to, you’re my mommy.”

Lexa lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in and opens her arms for Raven to crawl into.

“I love you Mama."

“I love you too Raven, so, so much."

A gentle knock on the door interrupts the mother and daughter but Lexa isn’t bothered by it knowing that it’s Clarke behind the door.

“Come in,” Lexa says her arms still holding her daughter who suddenly is fast asleep. The brunette smiles down at her, the memory of holding her for the first time flashing before her eyes.

_“She’s beautiful Cos."_

_“She’s ours Lexa."_

_The nurse steps out of the room to give the couple some privacy. Costia still unable to leave her bed waves her girlfriend over to come closer. “What should we call her?” Costia asks._

_“Raven,” Lexa says._

_“As in the bird?” Costia giggles._

_“Yes, as in the bird,” Lexa replies. “Growing up, my grandfather used to tell me stories of our people and how Native Americans viewed ravens as a sign of change. A metamorphosis so to speak, it symbolized a change or transformation. We’re mothers now Costia. Our lives are forever changed, for the better and it’s all thanks to this little one,” Lexa says this with her eyes never leaving her daughter’s. “This is our Raven."_

* * *

Lexa looks up, expecting to see Clarke but surprised to find that it isn’t her at the door but Octavia, holding what looked like a tray of tea and crackers.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see you but what the hell are you doing in my house?” Lexa whispers trying not to wake her daughter.

“A little bird told me you might need me and well, here I am.”

Lexa nods and gently tucks Raven into her own bed and motions her best friend to follow her to the living room. Lexa finally feeling the exhaustion from just that morning sits down with a big huff and a sigh that almost sounds like defeat.

“Tea?” Octavia asks, already extending a cup to her.

“You made me tea? Since when do you do that?” Lexa smirks but graciously accepts.

“A little bird made it, she also left this,” Octavia raises a folded piece of paper and hands it to her friend. Written in familiar writing are six simple words: _I’ll be here when you’re ready._

Lexa smiles to herself and shows it to Octavia, who knew that six words could mean so much.

“So she’s back?” Octavia asks, taking a sip of her own tea.

“I don’t know…I literally…We were leaving the restaurant, I bumped into her and boom. She was right there and of course Raven had to turn up and…God O, she called her, her other mommy. And I snapped, I told her that she wasn’t, I felt terrible but I couldn’t move, I couldn’t say anything, it’s as if I’m where I was 3 years ago."

Octavia nods her head as Lexa continues to rant and when she finally feels as if her friend has let it all out she speaks.

“You are nowhere near where you were 3 years ago Lex. You are so incredibly strong, you have raised and continue to raise a beautiful, strong daughter and before you can object, she is a reflection of you. You helped make her who she is today. You are not the girl you were 3 years ago and you never will be again. I promise you that."

Lexa has to admit that her best friend does have some validity, Octavia Blake, the strong-willed and wild woman that she is. “I asked her if she wanted to meet her."

“You what?” this seems to stun the Blake. “Why in fucking hell would you ever even give her that option?"

Lexa sighs, “She’s entitled to it. Biologically…"

“Biologic nothing Lexa! You are her mother, you raised her, you are her mother.” Lexa nods, knowing that her best friend is right but it still doesn’t change the fact the one of her biggest fears may come to fruition sooner than she would have hoped.

“She’s still a child Lexa, let her come to the decision when she’s older but for all we know Costia in town is just a one time thing."

“You should have seen her when she realized it was Raven…It was, different."

Octavia scoffs and Lexa knows it’s just her protective nature to hate Costia after everything she’s done but it still doesn’t change history, it still doesn’t change the facts. Sensing her best friend’s internal struggle, Octavia changes the subject.

“Clarke’s a keeper you know?"

Lexa smiles, “I know."

“You should give her a call Lex,” Octavia says tossing the girl her cell phone before placing a gentle kiss on her head and heading out.

Lexa stares at her phone and doesn’t really know where to begin, but after a bit of hesitation she finally makes the phone call.

_“Hello?”_

“It’s me Lexa, we need to talk."

_“I’m ready whenever you are."_

 


	9. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Raven!

“Yes, right there!”

The brunette squirms her insides tightening as she feels herself getting closer and closer to the edge. She tightens her grip on the blonde's hair below her and instinctively bucks her hips to meet the other girl’s tongue.

“I’m going to come, Clarke, please…” Lexa gasps and with another flick of the doctor’s skilled tongue Lexa unravels. When the brunette finally comes to her senses, she tugs on Clarke’s arms to bring her above her once more for a kiss but when Lexa finally gets a good look at the girl it isn’t Clarke but Costia.

Lexa shoots up, beads of sweat trickling down her face and as she comes to from her dream or nightmare…she can’t really decide at the moment. All she knows is she’s ridiculously turned on and she’s ruined the pair of underwear she’s currently wearing. She reaches over towards her bedside table and sees it’s only 4AM. She sighs and attempts to fall back to sleep and after 10 minutes of trying, she calls it quits. Reaching back over to her bedside table she grabs her phone.

 **Lexa:** You awake?

 **Clarke:** Just got off shift, heading home. Why are you awake?

 **Lexa:** Nightmare.

Lexa waits, wondering if she should tell her about the nightmare but a buzz from her phone distracts her.

 **Clarke:** I know a good remedy for nightmares

 **Lexa:** How soon can you be here?

 **Clarke:** My, my aren’t we eager…I mean I am tired...

 **Lexa:** Of course, apologies Clarke.

Lexa puts her phone back on her bedside table, ready to take matters into her own hands when she hears her phone begin to buzz indicating a phone call.

“Clarke?"

_“You going to buzz me up Commander or would you rather fight off those nightmares alone?”_

“Doctor Griffin, are you propositioning me?"

_“For now, yes, now hurry it’s chilly out!"_

Lexa laughs and quickly scurries out of her room to the living room and in no time Clarke is at her door.

“Clarke, you really didn’t have to come."

“I’m not coming yet Lexa,” Clarke replies with a little sparkle in her eye. “Besides, it’s kind of a turn on knowing that after a nightmare, I’m the one you thought to reach out to."

Lexa takes a step forward. It’s been a week since they last saw each there and quite frankly it’s been killing the brunette.

“You’re getting cocky again Griffin,” Lexa smirks intertwining their hands. Clarke takes the bait and leans in to kiss the other girl. Lexa’s lips mesh perfectly with hers and Clarke is practically moaning into her mouth as their contact heats up.

“Bedroom,” Clarke says barely breaking the contact they have and Lexa nods in agreement. How the two make it to the bedroom without waking Raven up is a surprise considering that they made a few pit stops to pin one another against the wall and kiss some more but when they make it into the room clothes are quickly discarded and once again the two find each other vulnerable in the dark.

This time it’s Lexa to make the first move, she kisses Clarke and it isn’t hurried or eager, it’s slow and intimate. While their lips move against each other, Lexa’s hands roam Clarke’s body like it was their first time. She gently gropes Clarke’s breast, gently squeezing her pink nipples earning her a few gasps from the girl below her. Lexa traces Clarke’s stomach, gently scraping her nails up and down until goosebumps appear. Finally the brunette guides one of Clarke’s hands to her core, dripping, and wanting and Clarke’s reaction is worth it as Lexa smiles against her skin.

“Lexa…You’re so wet,” Clarke whispers as her fingers find their way through the girl’s folds, gently teasing her.

“I need you Clarke,” Lexa gasps as she allows herself to be taken over. Clarke reverses their positions so she now hovers the girl and Lexa who so rarely gives in, lets herself be taken.

The blonde begins with smaller circles on the bundle of nerves that’s familiarized herself with from before and Lexa is practically melting in her hands. With Lexa squirming beneath her, Clarke finally gives in and allows herself to fill Lexa and she’s met thrust for thrust by Lexa’s hips, wanting more, needing more.

The two bodies move as one and when Clarke finally hits the spot Lexa’s been aching for, everything goes white as her senses hit an overload and the orgasm rushes through her. They still for a second before Clarke pulls away from the girl and as she goes to roll over Lexa immediately grabs hold of the blonde’s wrist, bringing Clarke’s fingers to her mouth and before Clarke can protest, Lexa sucks off the remaining juices of herself while the blonde watches.

“Something the matter Clarke?” Lexa says licking the girl’s middle finger once more. Clarke is silent and Lexa loves it, she loves the way Clarke’s eyes never leave hers and the aura around her is just magnetic.

“No, nothing’s wrong,” Clarke finally manages and Lexa smirks. The brunette pulls the girl in for a deep kiss and Clarke once again melts against her but before Lexa can do anything Clarke pulls away.

“So this is probably going to sound super corny, but would you mind just holding me? I’ve had a long day and I really just want you to hold me…is that okay?”

Lexa can tell Clarke’s nervous but she just nods her head with a cute smile and opens her arm for an embrace. Clarke somewhat surprised by the girl’s reaction gives her a quick kiss before nestling herself in her arms. Lexa traces small circles on Clarke’s arm in an effort to soothe her but Clarke can tell something’s on her mind.

“Lexa?"

“Hm."

“You’re thinking too loud,” Clarke chuckles. “What’s on your mind?"

Lexa clearly surprised that her actions showed some sort of hesitation pauses before speaking again, “Was it okay? What we just did…You were okay with that?"

Now it’s Clarke’s turn to be surprised. “Of course, I know I’m not just some booty call to you Lexa, but you should know by now, I don’t do anything I don’t want to do."

Lexa smiles, “Very well Clarke Griffin. Get some sleep.”

The blonde kisses the arm holding her tightly and for the first time in days the two fall asleep almost instantly.

* * *

When morning comes, well more like noon the next day, Clarke finds herself naked in a bed that isn’t hers with the faint smell of coffee being brewed. Clarke quickly dresses herself, her stomach finally aware that she’s starving and makes her way down the hall. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, Clarke realizes Lexa is nowhere in sight. She checks Raven’s room and finds the younger girl isn’t home either. It isn’t until Clarke makes her way into the living room that she finds the brunette, headphones in her ears, hunched over what looks like a mountain of books.

Clarke smiles, taking in the image in front of her, she can’t deny her attraction to the girl and the cute little study wrinkles above her brow only makes her cuter.

“You’re staring Clarke,” Lexa says without even looking up from book.

“How could you even know that?” The blonde teases, walking over to the other girl.

“You’re quite loud when you walk,” Lexa smirks, “Even with these in,” Lexa says pointing towards her earbuds.

“You’re quite cute when you study,” Clarke replies placing herself behind the brunette. She gently begins massaging the brunette who doesn’t protest, she loves feeling the other woman’s hands on her, in any context.

“Mmm,” Lexa groans in appreciation as the doctor only kneads harder into her shoulders. “This is nice,” Lexa says.

“What would you do without me Woods?” Clarke laughs.

“Probably find another hot doctor to do this?"

Clarke playfully slaps Lexa’s back and moves toward the couch facing the table Lexa’s positioned at.

“Clarke, you know you’re amazing right?"

Blue eyes widen and a soft smile forms, “You’re not so bad yourself."

Lexa huffs, her internal emotions finally beginning to stir, she’s been putting off having this conversation for awhile but she can’t really avoid it anymore.

“I have to tell you something."

Clarke’s stomach drops noting the seriousness in Lexa’s tone and she knows whatever comes out next she isn’t going to like.

“Okay,” the blonde replies

“I met up with Costia."

“Okay,” the blonde says again.

“I didn’t know how to tell you…” Lexa begins and by the other girl’s body language she knows better than to get any closer to her.

Clarke shifts uncomfortably, “You don’t have to tell me anything Lexa.” Lexa wishes that hearing her say that doesn’t hurt her but it does.

“I called her, the day after we ran into her. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, I wasn’t even sure if her number was the same but it was and she answered. She’s…She’s Raven’s birth mother and she has a right to see her. Whether or not I agree with it, I can’t run from the fact that this is the woman who gave birth to her and if she wants a relationship with her, she has that right as well, whether or not I like it."

Clarke nods again.

“I found out why she’s here, she’s here on business, helping with a few odds and ends but she won’t be here long. I just…I just wanted you to know that."

Lexa watches Clarke, waiting for some sort of reaction. Something, anything and when the blonde comes back over to her and wraps her in her arms, Lexa is absolutely stunned.

“I meant it when I said you and Raven are my girls,” Clarke whispers and she can feel the brunette smile and pull her in even tighter.

“You’re our girl too Clarke,” Lexa says pulling away slightly just in time to see the blonde blush. “That is, you know if you want to be our girl,” Lexa manages to mumble out.

“Lexa Woods are you nervous right now?” Clarke teases as she begins peppering kisses along her cheek.

“Clarke……” Lexa whines.

“Yes Lexa?” Clarke smiles and Lexa knows she isn’t going to win this one, so she swallows her pride and bites the bullet.

“Clarke Griffin, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend? I swear fealty to you Clarke and will make sure that your battles will never be fought alone but with me by your side for as long as you’ll have me."

The way Lexa is staring at Clarke is giving her chills she never knew she was capable of having. She only ever wants Lexa to look at her that way. Some time must have passed by the expression on Lexa’s face and it isn’t until Clarke kisses her that she realizes she feels the same way.

“Yes, you goofball. Yes. Even though we've been together for awhile now, yes now it's at least officially official."

And Lexa swears she’s never smiled so hard in her life since Raven’s been born.

* * *

It’s only been a few days since Lexa and Clarke, or Clexa as Octavia prefers to call them, have been official but you’d think the blonde has been there the entire time. With Raven’s birthday party here sooner than they thought it would be, Clarke has been in full party planner mode, making sure that everything Raven wants, she gets. To which in previous conversations Lexa has mentioned on more than one occasion that it’s in fact Clarke that is whipped by the younger Woods and not herself, a statement that Clarke neither confirmed nor denied.

“Clarke! This looks so cool!” a very excited Raven squeals running through the entrance of the bar Lexa tends to some nights. Clarke leans down to hug the girl, “Is it everything you wanted it to be monkey?” and Raven nods.

“I love the balloons and the streamers and the OH MY GOD A LEGO STATION!” Raven wriggles her way out of Clarke’s hug and makes her to the makeshift pool table/Lego station that Clarke worked on all night. Everything was organized by brick size, color, function, and even little Lego people. After hearing from Lexa that Raven’s been in a very big building phase, Clarke knew exactly what she wanted to do for the girl.

“You’ve really outdone yourself Griffin,” Clarke turns around to find Anya standing behind her, gift bag in hand.

“Anya! You came!” Clarke says going to hug her best friend.

“When you tell me that you’ll stick me with the annoying new interns at the hospital if I don’t show, you don’t really leave any choice,” Anya smirks but Clarke also knows that her best friend loves kids, whether or not she wants to admit it.

“Hello Dr. Anya!” Raven greets the girl, “Is that present for me?"

Anya laughs and looks at Clarke, “Straight to the point I see…” she bends down and hands the younger Woods her gift.

“THANK YOU!” Raven snatches the gift, gives a quick curtsy and runs off towards the gift table.

“Raven, manners!” A voice from behind the bar booms and Raven stops dead in her tracks. She quickly spins around and dragging her feet back to Anya, properly thanks the doctor for coming to her party and for her generous gift.

“Thank you sweetheart,” Lexa singsongs and Raven sticks her tongue out in reply before rejoining her friends in the back.

“You’ve got quite the handful,” Anya says to Lexa.

“I’ve got more than a handful,” Lexa replies, “especially with this one around,” she says pointing to Clarke.

“Oh I believe that,” Anya laughs.

“Just because I’m not actually near you doesn’t mean that I can’t hear you!” Clarke yells from across the room while she finishes hanging a few extra party decorations but she’s only met with laughter from her girlfriend and best friend.

Raven’s birthday party is in full swing and Octavia’s just about to break out the piñata when the door to the bar chimes indicating a new guest has arrived.

“That son of a bitch…” Octavia mutters under her breath as she grips the piñata bat tighter and Lincoln very carefully extracts it from her hands as they both eye the cause of so much of Lexa’s pain, Costia.

Clearly uncomfortable, Costia walks over and Octavia assumes a defensive stance.

“Octavia, hello."

“Costia, goodbye.”

“Octavia, I know you don’t have any reason to like me but -"

“I’ll stop you right there, I have no reason to like you, care for you or even acknowledge you, but you see that little girl over there?” Octavia points towards the back room where Raven is sitting in a circle of duck, duck, goose with her friends. “That little girl is the only reason why you aren’t dead right now and because Lexa for some reason thinks you aren’t the devil."

“I…I don’t know what to say…Thank you…"

“Shove it up your ass Costia,” with that Octavia waves the girl off and stalks off towards Lexa. With Octavia out of earshot, Costia finally relaxes.

“Hi, I’m Lincoln,” Lincoln slightly waves.

“LINCOLN!” Octavia yells. “And that’s my cue,” Lincoln waves again and goes after the younger Blake just as Lexa makes her way over.

“Finally, a friendly face,” Costia exhales and Lexa’s expression is less than welcome. “Or not…Listen Lexa if this is going to be an issue, I can just leave and come back when it’s just you and Raven."

“Costia, you’re here. This is your chance, take it or leave it."

Costia nods, understanding the situation she’s put Lexa in and she knows she’s in no position to be negotiating so she takes a deep breath and holds her head high as she walks over to Raven. Lexa takes her place behind the bar, her eyes trained on her daughter as Raven awkwardly hugs Costia and thanks her for her gift.

She’s okay…She’s okay. Lexa thinks to herself and almost instantly Clarke is already at her side tracing small circles into her lower back.

“She’s okay Lexa,” Clarke says just loud enough for her to hear and Lexa nods her head and leans into Clarke. “She knows who her real mother is, she knows it’s you babe."

“You’re right, let’s just get through today okay? For Raven."

“For Raven,” Clarke answers and kisses her girlfriend on the forehead before refreshing her tray of water to hand out to the guests.

In an hour the majority of guests have left leaving Clarke, Lexa, Octavia, Lincoln, Anya, the birthday girl, and to everyone else’s surprise, Costia.

“Really, I insist on helping clean, it’s the least I can do,” the brunette says as she clears off another table.

“It’s a fucking start,” Octavia mumbles and Lexa nudges her friend.

“Mama, I’m tired, Mama, can we go home and open presents soon?” a clearly tuckered out Raven asks as she tugs on Lexa’s shirt. The older Woods girl smiles and opens her arms up for an embrace.

“I’m five now Mama, I’m too old to be carried!” Raven pouts and Lexa pretending to act offended pouts right back but then the room is filled with the child’s laughter as she’s being rushed around the room Superman style while being carried by Clarke.

“Faster Clarke!” Raven squeals and Clarke does her best to keep up the momentum but finally has to call it quits but instead of putting the girl down, Raven keeps her hold onto Clarke and understanding the girl’s message holds her closer.

“I thought you were too old to be held Raven,” Lexa teases.

“Only by you mama, I didn’t say Clarke couldn’t,” Lexa yawns.

Costia can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy watching the three girls interact. She quickly finishes clearing off her current table and clears her throat to get Lexa’s attention. “I think I’m going to get going."

Lexa nods, “Thank you for coming Costia, I know Raven really appreciated it."

“Of course, it means a lot that you invited me. I, I’m only in town for two more days, I was hoping that maybe we could all have dinner before I go?"

Lexa can tell it was hard for Costia to ask and she knows that Octavia is watching her like a hawk.

“If Raven’s up for it then I don’t see why not,” Lexa replies.

 

“Understood,” Costia waves goodbye to everyone and very noticeably gives Clarke a very curt nod before leaving.

Costia’s met with a rush of cold air as she exits the bar, she pulls her jacket around her neck. She waits for a taxi and in the meantime looks back into the window of the bar. She sees Lexa smiling giving Clarke a kiss while Octavia and Lincoln have somehow managed to get into a mini food fight with the cake which only wakes up Raven who joins in on the fun. She can’t help but think that she should be in there. That should be her life, her laughing and smiling with her friends. Instead she’s on the outside and for the first time in forever, she feels like fighting for a way in.

A taxi finally pulls up and Costia quickly gets in. It isn’t until she’s halfway to her hotel that she realizes what she needs to do. She takes her phone out of her purse and searches for the phone number. It only rings twice.

_“Hello?"_

“Hello, hi. Mr. Collins, it’s Costia. I’m wondering if that offer of yours still stands?"


	10. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably not what you guys were expecting but I've really just learned to not give a shit. You like it, you like it. You don't, you don't read what happens next. Clexa is ALWAYS end game so put yourselves through a little angst (okay, a lot of angst) before the good times come back.
> 
> Cheers,  
> M

“Really Clarke, let me help you,” Lexa says struggling to keep up with the girl carrying a majority of Raven’s gifts.

Clarke rolls her eyes, “Just open the door you goof,” she whispers while Lexa hurries to open the door with a sleeping Raven in her arms.

“Seriously, she turned 5, how much crap does she need?” Clarke says between boxes of gifts.

Lexa smirks, “You’d be surprised at how much a child actually needs, I was drowning in dirty diapers for months."

Lexa finally gets the door open and Clarke practically flops into the apartment and drops the pile of gifts on the couch. The brunette disappears only to reappear a moment later from Raven’s room.

“I hope there’s more clothes than toys in those things,” Lex says pointing towards Raven’s tower of gifts. “God knows she’s outgrowing things by the day and they don’t come cheap,” Lexa sighs.

“You know, if you ever need help getting -"

Lexa raises her hand, “I’m going to stop you right there. As adorable as you are for even thinking to offer to help, this isn’t something you need to worry about. We’ve been through rougher times, we’ll get by, we always do."

Clarke very hesitant with how to continue with the conversation answers the brunette with a question.

“What if I want to be part of that we?"

"You already are Clarke."

Lexa gives her a small smile, pulls Clarke in for a quick kiss and stands to make herself a pot of tea.

Lexa returns with two cups of jasmine tea and nestles her way into a comfortable spot next to Clarke.

“So Costia seems nice,” Clarke says and she can practically feel the way Lexa’s body tenses next to her.

“She is,” she says sipping her tea. “I’m glad she made an effort."

“Do you think she’ll continue? To, you know, make an effort?” Clarke asks.

Lexa sighs placing her cup of tea down and begins to fidget with her hair, a habit Clarke has only begun noticing recently in what seems to be times of stress for the brunette.

“I don’t know Clarke."

“Do you want her to?” the blonde presses.

Lexa closes her eyes and Clarke knows she’s gone too far.

“Lexa, baby I’m sorry. I’m just…curious. I care so much about you and Raven, I just, I’m…"

“Curious?” Lexa teases.

Clarke nods.

“It’s okay Clarke. I don’t really know what Costia’s plans are, she never explicitly said them. She wants to get dinner or something with me and Raven before she leaves, that’s as much as I know. I don’t know why she’s here, what she’s done with her life, nothing and quite frankly, I don’t mind it being that way."

Clarke can tell Lexa’s still struggles internally. Can you really blame her? She planned a future with this woman, she’s mothered a child that isn’t biologically hers for this woman.

“I just want what’s best for Raven,” Lexa says.

“Do you think Costia would try to take her away from you?"

“I’ve thought about that scenario many times, but after all these years, what right does she have other than being her birth mother? I cared for her, I raised her, I’ve provided for her financially, mentally, physically, everything, it’s been me. My name’s on her birth certificate and after Costia left, I made legal moves to adopt her."

Clarke nods, understanding that Lexa has clearly taken things to a level she probably never would have thought to do had it been her.

“Lexa?"

“Hm,” Lexa says taking another sip.

“I like-love you."

“Come again?” Lexa says a little bewildered by the blonde’s statement.

Clarke laughs, “How do I explain this…I like you, a lot but I like you more than just liking you, but it’s not quite love yet, it’s somewhere in that middle ground and I don’t quite know how to describe it…I just, I like-love you."

Lexa lets the beautiful woman continue to ramble on for a few more seconds before finally shutting her up with a sweet kiss. She swears that every time their lips meet, it’s a momentous feeling like seeing Raven for the first time. It’s that kind of feeling.

Lexa pulls away and tucks a few strands of Clarke’s hair behind her ear. She looks into the blue pools looking right back at her and she knows she’s done for.

“I like-love you too Clarke Griffen."

* * *

The sound of rustling paper is what wakes Lexa up from her slumber. She feels a heavy weight on her chest and realizes that her and Clarke must have fallen asleep. She looks over at the clock on the wall and realizes they indeed have been asleep for over 2 hours. The sound of paper catches her attention again and Lexa’s vision finally focuses on her daughter furiously unwrapping her gifts.

“Raven Woods!"

“Hi Mama!”

“Raven, what are you doing?” Lexa hisses trying not to wake up the blonde.

“It’s my birthday…” Raven whimpers, flashing her best sad eyes.

Lexa shakes her head and smiles, “you’re lucky you’re cute kid."

“I know!” the younger Woods replies and goes back to her previous activity.

Lexa manages to get herself in a more comfortable position while still maintaining the sleeping girl on her chest, as she watches her daughter continue to rampage through her pile of presents. Mindlessly, Lexa strokes the blonde’s curls, softly twirling them between her fingers, her eyes fixated on the way Clarke’s chest slowly rises and falls with each breath.

FLASH.

“What the -"

Lexa looks up, her eyes still straining against the flash of light and sees Raven standing holding what looks like a Polaroid camera.

“Don’t move mama!” Raven says holding the camera up again and this time Lexa’s prepared and in a very mature fashion sticks her tongue out. The camera flashes and the polaroid prints out almost instantly. Raven, camera in hand, makes her way onto the couch and snuggles her way next to her mother and Clarke, successfully waking Clarke up.

“What is going on here?” Clarke asks, the sleep still apparent in her voice.

“Raven here has taken it upon herself to open all of her gifts…while we slept."

Clarke laughs and sits up and she swears she almost hears Lexa whimper at the loss of contact. The blonde smiles and gives Lexa a small peck, a hint of red spreads across Lexa’s cheeks and Clarke backs off realizing it’s their first kiss Raven has witnessed.

“Gross,” the younger Woods says but immediately goes back to looking at her developing photo.

“On that note,” Lexa sighs, clearly somewhat irked and heads into the kitchen. Clarke furrows her brow but focuses her attention back on the younger Woods.

“Hey monkey, can I ask you something?” The blonde asks, her eyes darting towards the room Lexa just entered.

“Sure,” Raven shrugs.

“Are you okay if I kiss your mom?"

“Yeah, mommy likes you a lot,” Raven replies nonchalantly. “I like when mommy’s happy and you make her laugh and giggle a lot."

“Does she?” Clarke asks the blush finding its way to her cheeks now.

“I hear her and Auntie O talk about you all the time. Clarke does this look right?” Raven, clearly has the mind of a child as her thoughts run from one to another. She holds up the first polaroid she took, a photo of Clarke and Lexa cuddling on the couch but what really catches her eye is the way Lexa is looking at her while she sleeps.

“Yeah, it definitely looks perfect monkey, do you think I can have this one?"

“Of course!"

Lexa smiles watching the two girls interact and if Clarke ever asks, she didn’t hear a single thing they said. The brunette clears her throat to announce her presence and Clarke immediately locks eyes with Lexa before going back to Raven and her camera.

"So you like my gift?" Clarke asks.

"You bought me the camera?!" Raven asks in awe.

"Sure did," Clarke says holding her hand out for the camera. "My dad bought me one when I was around your age. He told me that the best thing I could do was make something out of nothing."

Raven hangs onto every word Clarke says as if she's speaking in a sacred tongue.

Clarke readjusts one of the lenses and hands it back to the girl.

"Try taking a photo now."

Raven levels the camera to her eye and picks her next target, her mother.

"Say cheese mama!" The flash goes off and the photo prints. The younger Woods grabs the photo and places it on the coffee table, cowering over it ensuring she sees every moment of the photo developing.

"You're good with her," Lexa says taking a seat next to Clarke.

"I never saw myself being good with kids."

"I find that hard to believe," Lexa replies.

"Believe it," Clarke shrugs. "I did a rotation in the peds department during my residency, being around those kids...all that sickness and not being able to help them...it killed me."

"Hey," Lexa lifts Clarke's chin with her fingers and brushes blonde hair away from her face with her other hand. "Clarke, you're amazing with Raven, I have no doubt that you'd be amazing with any other child. I also don't doubt that you haven't helped a single patient to your full potential. You are an amazing Doctor Clarke Griffin and besides myself, I know my daughter can attest to that."

Clarke grins and kisses Lexa and without any hesitation, Lexa reciprocates.

“Get a room,” Raven says and the couple laughs from the couch.

* * *

It’s a slow afternoon at the restaurant so Lexa takes to her spot in the backroom to study for her upcoming finals. It’s amazing how much quickly time has passed but in just a few weeks Lexa Woods will be walking across a stage in an itchy cap and gown to accept her collegiate degree.

Lexa’s deep in thought, highlighting and re-reading portions of her text when the door opens. Thinking it’s Cage, Lexa calls out, “unless you have an iced tea and a side of fries I suggest you leave me alone, I have 10 more minutes of study time."

“Sorry?"

The voice most definitely did not belong to Cage but to Finn. Lexa immediately stands realizing it’s her boss and Finn waves her to sit back down.

“I didn’t realize anyone was in here,” he says

Lexa shakes her head, “No one usually is. I’m sorry, Cage’s dad, he normally lets me study in here when it’s slow…But I can go back on the floor."

“Nonsense, stay. I was just looking for an employee handbook. We have someone joining the corporate staff and I just want to make sure I have everything in order for when she comes in."

“Here, I can help,” Lexa walks over to a dusty shelf and pulls out a black binder, she flips through it quickly to make sure it’s the right one before handing it over to Finn.

“Thanks,” Finn shuffles his feet. “Well, as you were,” he salutes and leaves.

Lexa sits back down, her chest tight and an sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Why Finn Collins bothered her so much she can’t understand because Clarke is hers and she’s Clarke’s. Right?

Lexa drives herself mad before finally decided to pick up the phone but is immediately sent to voicemail.

“You’ve reached the phone of Dr. Clarke Griffin, sorry I’m unable to answer but leave me a name, number, and a message and I’ll get back to you soon!"

_“Hey Clarke, it’s Lexa. I guess I totally spaced and thought you were off today but i just wanted to talk to you about something. Nothing too serious, or well I don’t know what you define as serious but, just give me a -"_

The other end beeps and the line goes dead.

“Son of a bitch,” Lexa whispers. Frustrated with herself she shuts her phone off and goes back to studying.

* * *

“What’s with the face?” Anya asks handing over a cup of coffee to the blonde.

“I just got the weirdest voicemail from Lexa, I don’t know if I should be scared, concerned or excited."

“That’s quite the wheel of emotions you’ve got there, hand it over."

Clarke tosses her phone to her friend and Anya listens to the voicemail.

“Sounds like she’s dumping you."

Clarke smacks her friend on the thigh and Anya laughs.

“I’m kidding Clarke, she sounds, I don’t know, sounds like she’s looking for some sort of reassurance. I thought you said she already asked you to be her girlfriend, hearteyes and all?"

_Shit._

Clarke's confused because at the very least she never pegged Lexa to be insecure. Everyone has their own set of insecurities but Lexa is always so strong, so sure of herself...but maybe that's what also makes her need reassurance even more? She knows what she needs to do.

Clarke grabs her phone and heads out to the hospital courtyard. She scrolls through her photos, which for some reason house quite a few selfies of Raven but she stops and smiles when she finds the one she's looking for. The photo is simple, it's Lexa and Raven in their art smocks, their backs are to the camera but Raven is smiling up towards her mother as she points toward a specific stroke of color she just created on her canvas.

Clarke quickly opens up her Instagram and posts the photo, captioning it, "These are the girls who get me through the longest of shifts. I couldn't be luckier to call them mine <3"

Satisfied with her work, she tags Lexa and calls her back.

_“Clarke I am so sorry for that horrendous voicemail. I really should’ve put more thought into what I was saying and before I realized what was happening I was getting cut off."_

Clarke giggles.

“Are you laughing at me Clarke Griffin?"

“It’s hard not to, you’re adorable when you ramble."

_“I’m not rambling."_

“You are and it’s absolutely adorable, now I know where Raven gets it from."

_“Are you insinuating that I wasn’t adorable before and where else would Raven get being that way from."_

Clarke can sense the pout forming and decides to cut to the chase.

“So your voicemail…What was that all about?"

_“I…Um, it’s not important, I just saw Finn at work and then of course I felt that thing in my stomach, you know the pit feeling thing? I just got way into my head and then I thought of you and…Fuck I’m rambling again aren’t I?"_

“Wait, what?"

 _"I got jealous..."_ Lexa mumbles

Clarke smiles, "Lexa Woods, what ever do you have to be jealous about?"

 _"I just..."_ Lexa's phone vibrates and she asks Clarke to hold on while she checks why her phone is going off nonstop. It's only then that she sees the adorable photo Clarke posted just moments ago because Octavia has taken the liberty to screenshot it and send it to her with just exclamation marks. Lexa smiles and Clarke can practically see her beaming through the phone.

"You were saying?" Clarke asks in that smug tone of hers.

_“I like-love you a lot Clarke and while I enjoy speaking to you on the phone, I should probably let my girlfriend get back to saving lives."_

"I'll pick up dinner tonight?" Clarke asks hoping not to sound too desperate. She knows Lexa has a million things going on in her life but even if she just gets to be a passenger in her journey, it's worth it.

_"Absolutely pretty girl."_

* * *

Lexa hangs up the phone feeling quite satisfied with herself, as she should. Cage catches her cheesing it up and can’t help but want in on what’s going on.

“There’s this weird thing on your face, it looks a lot like a smile but I can’t tell because the Lexa Woods I know doesn’t smile like that…or like ever."

“Shut up Cage,” Lexa says her smile immediately disappearing.

Cage laughs, “It looks good on you Woods, seriously. Had I know all you needed was a blonde this entire time I would’ve tried harder to set you up."

“Bite me."

Cage is about to respond with a not so nice remark when one of the server grabs his attention letting him know that there’s someone looking for him up front. The two friends make their way to the hostess desk and Lexa immediately stops in her tracks.

“Costia, what are you doing here?"

Cage spins around to face Lexa, “Costia, your Costia?"

“Hi,” the timid girl waves hello and Cage spins back to her.

“You’re Costia?"

“Yes, hello."

They shake hands and Lexa is still unable to process anything other than the fact that Costia is here, in her restaurant shaking hands with Cage. Then the wheels start spinning and she puts two and two together.

“You’re our new freaking hire?” Lexa asks.

“I am, Mr. Collins and I have worked together for a few years now and he offered me the job helping rebrand Dropship as a test run for his father before working on the others."

“You knew about this?” Lexa asks addressing Cage this time.

“I, I had no idea…I mean I did, I knew we were rebranding but I didn’t know it was Costia. All I knew was that someone named C was coming in today and I was to debrief them per Finn’s request."

“That little shit,” Lexa whispers.

“Lexa, wait can we talk?” Costia asks but the brunette puts up her hand and walks away.

“She’ll come around,” Cage says offering her a smile.

“Apparently you don’t know her as well as I do,” Costia replies.

“Oh I do…I said she’ll come around, I just didn’t say when."

* * *

Lexa’s angry, she’s walked up and down the same block for the last 10 minutes knowing very well she should be at work but can you blame her?

Costia isn’t supposed to be here, she left. She left her and she left Raven. She said she was only in town for business and that it wasn’t supposed to be a long trip and now she’s here? At her work? What the fuck is going on?

Lexa continues to ignore the vibrations in her pocket from Cage no doubt making sure she’s alive and hasn’t murdered someone in anger. She walks up the block one more time before deciding to return to the restaurant, she has approximately 30 more minutes left of her shift in which she will do everything she possibly can to ignore the women who’s scorned her many years ago.

“Lexa, can we talk?” is the first thing the brunette hears when she enters.

“No. I’m working."

“Lex, please."

Maybe it’s the begging tone in Costia’s voice or the new attitude Lexa’s had lately but she turns to face the pleading woman.

“You have five minutes, meet me out back."

Lexa turns on her heel and heads towards the service entry where all the employees go to smoke on their breaks. She leans up against the brick building and waits. The door creaks and Costia emerges and Lexa really takes her in for the first time.

Time has done nothing but good things for Costia, Lexa can’t deny that. She’s still in shape, her cheeks bones seem to be sharper if that were even possible, and she looks - well she looks grown up.

“Five minutes, go."

Costia sighs, “Lexa I wasn’t lying to you when I said I was in town for business. I’ve been working for Finn and his father for almost two years now. They helped me get my life on track, Finn, he’s a really sweet -"

“Sorry, are you banging your boss?"

Costia’s eyes go wide, “Oh no, absolutely not…I mean he’s tried, but no. This is strictly business for me. I was only supposed to be in town to help him get settled in and finish up some last minute paperwork for his father but after we got to talking and he realized I used to live here, he offered me this opportunity…And I mean, Lexa, I couldn’t turn it down."

Lexa nods her head letting the words of her ex-lover sink in. She understands what she means in terms of not being able to turn down a good opportunity but there was still part of her that isn’t completely sold.

“And how long will you be here for?” Lexa asks not looking at the other girl.

“Four, five months tops."

“And Raven?"

This catches the girl off guard, “What about her?"

“Are you expecting anything in terms of my daughter?”

“Lex…” Costia sighs, “She’s our daughter."

This makes her look at Costia and while the other girl prepares herself to be chewed out Lexa simply nods her head and says, “Very well."

Costia steps closer to the other girl, “Lexa, I really mean it when I say I’m trying to get my life together. I know I missed out on a lot…for Raven, but I’m here and in that time I’d like to do something about that. If you’ll let me?"

"You and I...We're not strangers to hardships Costia so I'm pleased to hear you're making strides to better yourself but what you did, what you did is unforgivable. But if what you say is true then I will allow you to see Raven, as long as she permits it."

Costia reaches out her arm as peace offering, a ceasefire. Lexa takes it and shakes her hands but Costia surprises her and pulls her into a quick hug.

“Thank you, Lexa. You have no idea how much this means to me. I won’t let you down, I won’t let our girl down. I promise."

And for a split second Lexa believes her and returns the sign of affection ignoring the way the sound of _our girl_ flows from the other girl's her lips so easily. The girls break apart and head back into the restaurant, to any passerby it looks like two friends exchanging a moment of friendship, to Octavia across the street, it sure as hell looked like her friend dancing with the devil himself.

* * *

It was close to 6PM when Lexa left her shift at the restaurant, to say she's exhausted is an understatement what with helping Cage onboard Costia on top of her regular duties so Lexa is in no mood for anything that isn't Clarke and Raven.

 

The brunette pulls up to her regular parking spot at her apartment complex, she sees Raven waving at her from the window above and Octavia watching her with a stern look which doesn't seem very promising. When she opens the door to her home a tiny bundle of Raven greets her with a hug around her legs and an, "I missed you Mommy."

 

Before Lexa can greet her friend, Octavia looks at Raven and asks her to play in her room for awhile. Lexa should know by now that something is most definitely up.

 

"Care to share Octavia?" Lexa asks as she pours herself a glass of wine.

 

"I should be asking you that," the bite in her response doesn't go unnoticed.

 

Lexa digs two fingers into her brow ridge as she tries to alleviate the stress from the day, "Octavia, seriously now is not the time. I've had a shit day and honestly -"

 

"I saw you with her."

 

"Octavia," Lexa says, the dominance in her voice growing. "I don't have time for games, spit it out."

 

"I saw you and Costia outside of the restaurant earlier...You were...hugging."

 

Lexa laughs, "You saw nothing. We came to an agreement, that's all. The hug was meaningless and initiated by her, not me."

 

"Didn't see you pull away Commander."

 

Lexa sighs knowing very well that Octavia isn't going to let up. She loves her as a sister and knows she's just looking out for her interest and Raven's but the timing of all of this isn't ideal but with a deep breath Lexa tells Octavia everything she's learned earlier that day but it doesn't seem to satisfy the other girl.

 

"What about Clarke?"

 

"What about Clarke, Octavia? Costia being here doesn't have anything to do with her."

 

"Are you blind Lexa? That girl loves you and Raven, Costia being here stands to ruin all of that!"

 

"SHE'S THE MOTHER OF OUR CHILD OCTAVIA."

 

"Our child? OUR CHILD. Have you forgotten what she's done to you!" Octavia bellows back.

 

"Don't talk about things you don't understand Octavia."

 

Octavia laughs, "When that woman left you, you and your child, it was me who picked you up off of the floor. It was me who helped you during the night shifts to care for Raven. It was me who brought the Commander back to life, to push her to go back to school, to build a future so that YOUR child, not hers, YOURS, would have a future worth fighting for and you have the tenacity to call Raven hers?"

 

"ENOUGH."

 

Lexa's voice booms, the anger boiling over and Octavia bows her head in submission knowing she's pushed it too far and if Lexa were paying any attention to her surroundings she would have seen that Clarke arrived a few minutes ago and has been standing timidly in the doorway.

 

"Clarke!" It's Raven who notices the blonde, running from the corner she was hiding behind during Octavia and her mother's fight. She hugs the blonde's legs so tightly leaving Lexa speechless.

 

"Raven, I. I'm sorry for yelling," Lexa says looking at her daughter and then to her best friend. Octavia nods in acceptance and goes to grab her coat, before leaving she holds out her arm to Lexa like they used to do during their old soccer days and Lexa with a smile accepts.

 

With Octavia gone and the door shut, Lexa can finally refocus her thoughts back to her daughter and to Clarke. Clarke. Lexa's eyes go bug-eyed as she turns to face the blonde.

 

"Clarke, I apologize to you as well, that's...that's not something you should have had to see."

 

Clarke's expression is unreadable. If it weren't for the girl still glued to her legs she doesn't quite know how she'd be reacting.

 

"Raven, would you mind bringing these into the kitchen?" Clarke asks motioning towards the bag of Chinese in her hand.

 

"Of course Clarke!" Raven says grabbing the bag, depositing them on the kitchen table and skipping back towards her room.

 

"Clarke," Lexa pleads. "Please say something."

 

"Well this definitely wasn't what I expected to come home to," Clarke jokes.

 

"I'm so - wait, coming home to?" Lexa asks with a sense of hopefulness in her voice.

 

Clarke blushes, "I don't...I don't quite know what I walked into but I heard a majority of that conversation if we're being honest."

 

Lexa hangs her head in embarrassment, "I guess we should talk then?"

 

"I know I have no right Lexa, none whatsoever about your life with Raven and with Costia but...in all our discussions about Costia and what you guys had, you never once referred to her as Raven's mother or as someone that was of importance to you."

 

"Clarke that's not fair," Lexa whispers. "I...Costia being here, it brings back such terrible, terrible memories Clarke, I can't even begin to tell you."

 

"So don't," Clarke says.

 

"Don't?"

 

"Don't tell me. I never once asked for more information than what you've been willing to give but if we're going to be moving forward...You know since Finn, I haven't opened myself up. Not to anyone, not like I have with you. You have your baggage, I have mine but I've made damn sure to keep mine away. I know Costia being here is out of your control but Lexa, I don't know if I can do this right now."

 

Lexa's heart sinks. The tears are prickling and Clarke has to look away to avoid the tears of her own.

 

"I want this, Lexa. All of this. You, Raven, this life. I want it but you owe it to your daughter to show her what life could be like with her other mother, at least while she's here. I feel like I would only be getting in the way."

 

Lexa can tell this isn't easy for Clarke to say but it doesn't hurt her any less. How is it that in just 24-hours her entire life is suddenly unstable, a life she worked years to put together and keep together.

 

"Lexa," Clarke reaches for her hand but Lexa pulls it away.

 

"You do what you must Clarke," Lexa says as she begins to stand. Her posture is straighter, her voice is sharper and the mask of the Commander is on full display.

 

"Lexa, please. I'm not saying I don't want this, I'm just saying I don't want to complicate this any further for you or for Raven."

 

"Don't talk about my daughter," Lexa hisses and Clarke actually flinches. "You made the choice for us Clarke. Not once did I say I wanted to end this, not once did I back down. You made the decision all on your own and now I have to...We have to pay the price."

 

Clarke sees the tears pooling in Lexa's eyes and she wants nothing more than to wipe them away and hold her and tell her she takes it back, but she knows that she can't. She's ruined it, all of it. Clarke wipes the tears that have been flowing for quite some time now, away from her face as best as she can as she stands to grab her purse.

 

"I didn't come here tonight and expect this to happen Lexa...I meant what I said about calling this home. You and Raven," Lexa's face softens for a moment hearing those words but quickly pulls it together once more. "I...I've really fallen for you Lexa. Both of you and I hate myself for doing this but I think you'll hate yourself more for not giving Raven a chance to know who her other mother is and deep down, I think you know that. You might act all cool and disaffected but that girl means the world to you and if you can't see that what I'm doing is for her best interest, then I don't know what else I can do. May we meet again Lexa."

 

Clarke stares at Lexa for what seems like hours, soaking in every detail of that perfect face, the body she's learned to worship and the heart she's come to love. She gives her one more nod and shuts the door behind her. Clarke sinks to her feet, her back against the door and she cries.

 

At first she thinks she hears Lexa crying on the other side only to realize it's Raven sobbing and screaming.

 

"Why did you make her leave Mama? I love Clarke, make her come back!"

 

"Raven, please..." Lexa pleads and Raven runs away only to slam her door.

 

Lexa moans in despair and throw a glass at the wall before finally succumbing to her emotions and weeping.

 

 


	11. XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just give this chapter a shot, that's all ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!

"Raven, my love...Please open the door for Mama," Lexa pleads, her back against Raven's door. She can hear the other girl crying in her room and Lexa doesn't know what hurts her more, the fact that Clarke walked away or the way it's hurt Raven. Either way, this is exactly what she was hoping to avoid. Lexa knocks again but Raven only yells at her in response.

"I hate you Mama! You made Clarke go away!"

Lexa can no longer hold the tears that she's worked hard to keep at bay. She knows this is part of being a mother, she knows that there will be days where Raven will be so mad at her she'll say those words again but never in a million years did she think it would be because of this.

"Raven, I'm sorry. I love you monkey. I love you so much."

Lexa sits outside of her daughter's door until she hears the girl's soft snores. She wants to get herself into bed but she doesn't think she can manage it after the day she's had, so instead she lulls herself to sleep with the sound of Raven's snores in the room behind her.

* * *

 

_When Clarke was 19 she found herself sitting on the floor of her freshman dorm bathroom with her head between her knees and her then roommate Anya next to her, holding her hand._

_Anya's cell phone timer goes off and Clarke squeezes the girl's hand harder. Anya nods her head in understanding and grabs the two tests on the ground. She exhales a sigh of relief and Clarke finally manages to lift her head up._

_"You're not pregnant Clarke," Anya tells her._

_"I'm not...Oh my goodness...Anya," Clarke throws her arms around the girl next to her in celebration. When Clarke missed her last period an overwhelming amount of emotions flowed through her, she was almost a sophomore in university with her whole life ahead of her and she nearly lost it all because of a mistake Finn made._

_"Are you going to tell him?"_

_Clarke mulls the idea over before standing and helping Anya up._

_"I suppose I should but...After this, I don't think I want anything to do with Finn Collins."_

_Anya smiles, "I'm proud of you Clarke."_

_Anya may be a woman of few words but if there's anything she's learned about her roommate it's that she does what she wants, when she wants, even if she isn't always doing the most logical thing at the time. The girls butted heads quite a bit when they first moved into their dorm, mainly over personal space and the common courtesy of leaving a rubber band around the door when one of them were indisposed but after Clarke's father passed, everything changed. Anya even went to his funeral and that's when Clarke knew she had found her person._

_Anya opts to accompany Clarke to Finn's dorm, it's just up one floor but Anya insists on having to pick up a book from Gustus' room anyways and Clarke gives her hand a gentle squeeze in thanks. They arrive at Finn's door and Clarke being the girlfriend doesn't bother to knock, but this time she really wishes she had._

_"Oh my god, Finn!" Except the exclamation wasn't coming from the blonde, it was coming from the brunette whose legs were wrapped around him instead. Through that shaggy hair of his, Finn looks up and sees Clarke, petrified._

_Clarke hasn't moved and Anya only scowls at the hold up. A fire glows in her eyes as she shoves past Clarke and lands a solid punch to Finn's nose._

_"You piece of shit. You don't deserve her!" Anya yells, she grabs Clarke's hand and guides her out of the room before turning back to leave Finn with one last blow, "And congratulations Finn, Clarke's not pregnant."_

_The girl on the bed shrieks when she hears the last statement but the girls don't see what happens after as Anya slams the door in defiance and brings Clarke back to their room. Anya grabs two beers from their fridge, handing one over to Clarke._

_"Talk to me Clarke."_

_The blonde takes a sip of her beer, places it on the table next to her and laughs. Her roommate has no idea what's going on but Clarke keeps laughing resulting in Anya laughing as well._

_"Clarke, not that I don't love a good joke but...why are you laughing?"_

_"Did you see his face?" Clarke says cackling again. "His face, when you decked him, holy fuck!" She snorts and Anya laughs in response and hugs her best friend until they both end up on the floor laughing until their stomachs hurt about Finn the idiot Collins._

* * *

 

When Anya gets home that night she isn't expecting her best friend to be sitting on the floor of the living room, ice cream in hand with The Last Five Years playing in the background.

"Fuck, Clarke."

The blonde looks over to the brunette, eyes swollen from crying and mascara streaks running down her face.

"Clarke..." Anya says sliding into the spot next to her. "What happened? Do I need to slap some sense into that girl?"

Clarke shakes her head as she mumbles incoherently trying to explain to Anya what happened. Anya coaxes her down until Clarke is calm enough to tell her.

"I...I went over there and they were fighting. Lexa and Octavia. I guess Costia is here to stay for awhile and Lexa -"

"Lexa's going be about six feet under if she -"

Clarke cuts her off, "It isn't like that Ahn. I ended things."

"You, what?"

"Costia's going to be here for awhile working for Finn," Anya growls at the mention of his name. "Raven, she deserves to know her other mother and I told Lexa," Clarke begins to cry again. "I told her she owes it to her daughter to let that happen and I don't know if I can be in the picture while she does. It would just hurt too much Anya. They're a family and I..."

"Shh, Clarke it's okay," Anya opens her arms and her best friend falls into them. "You did the right thing Clarke. I know it hurts, but you did the right thing." Clarke begins to hiccup and Anya soothes her with drawing soft circles on her back until the blonde falls asleep.

* * *

 

"Oh fuck, Lexa...Lexa wake up."

Lexa is jolted awake with a subtle poke from Octavia.

"Octavia? What are you..." But Octavia shushes her as she motions to Raven who at some point in the night joined her mother on the floor, bringing her favorite blanket and pillow with her. The sight making Lexa incredibly sad but happy at the same time.

Octavia easily picks up her god daughter placing her in her bedroom before joining Lexa who is now in the kitchen.

"Fuck, it's already noon?" Lexa asks with a bit of panic in her voice. Octavia nods but tells her not to worry, it's a Saturday after all.

Lexa grabs two mugs off the shelf, pouring coffee for both of them. "Octavia, about last night I'm so sor -"

Octavia doesn't let the other girl finish before pulling her into a tight hug, "I'm sorry too Lex. I love you guys so much. The idea of you getting hurt again just terrified me."

Lexa nods her head as she embraces her best friend, "I know, we love you too O."

The girls break apart, their rough exteriors quickly back into play before Lexa continues to tell Octavia what happened between her and Clarke.

"Oh Lexa..."

"I know," Lexa exhales. "The worst part is that Raven heard all of it...Last night...She told me she hates me and that I'm the reason she left."

Lexa sniffles and Octavia hands her a tissue, "You know she doesn't hate you Lexa. She's a kid, she doesn't know any better."

"I know, but it doesn't stop it from being true...O, this is exactly what I didn't want to happen. Especially after Clarke called this place her home. HER home...Now it's just us again and you know, I was just getting used to the feeling of not feeling so alone."

The brunette's reply tugs at Octavia's heart strings. Never once has Lexa expressed feelings of being alone, she had her and Lincoln after all but she knew what Lexa meant. Costia leaving her and the baby ruined her. The fact that she warmed up so quickly to Clarke should have been a sign to her but she was so caught up in seeing how happy her best friend was the past few months that she never thought she'd see this side of Lexa again.

"Do you really think this is it?"

Lexa doesn't have to ask her what she's referring to, she already knows.

"I don't know. Clarke," Lexa gulps. "Clarke was right. I owe it to Raven to allow her to know who her other mother is and when she's old enough, she can make the decision to continue that relationship with Costia or not."

"And what about her relationship with Clarke? That girl has been more of a mother to Raven than Costia has ever been."

"I don't dispute that fact...But Clarke said she needed the space as well and quite frankly, Octavia, she hurt me," Lexa's voice is so small when she utters those words. "She left us," Lexa says again. "She made the decision for us, whether or not it was the right one, she still left us, she didn't even give me a chance to..." Lexa's crying now and she feels tiny arms wrap around her legs. She looks down and sees a sad-faced Raven holding onto her.

"I don't want Dr. Clarke here anymore Mama. If she hurt you, I don't want her here."

Lexa's heart sinks, "No, baby girl, it's okay. Dr. Clarke just had to take care of some stuff okay?"

"Does she not...Does she not want me anymore like Costia?"

Lexa, unable to keep a brave face for her daughter bends down to put them at eye level. "Clarke did not leave because of you, okay? She cares for you very much but you know sometimes, friends fight. You know how you and Wick fight and you don't talk for awhile but then you come around? It's like that. Clarke and I, we just need some space for awhile but I hope," Lexa cries. "I hope she'll come back."

"I hope she comes back too Mama," Raven says as she throws her child arms around her mother's neck. Lexa instantly sinks into the touch and lifts her daughter to hold. Lexa makes eye contact with Octavia and without words, she understands as she leaves quietly allowing mother and daughter to be alone.

* * *

 

It's been two month since Lexa and Clarke have seen or heard from each other. In that time Lexa's been able to heal, sort of. She goes back to her routine PC, as Octavia calls it, meaning pre-Clarke, which isn't really a bad thing. With graduation on the horizon Lexa has been studying harder and more than ever, while maintaining shifts at the bar with Octavia and at the Dropship. Her relationship with Costia is different. The other girl understands the loss and hurt she's caused her and has done well with setting her feelings aside in order to get to know her daughter instead. Raven wasn't too keen at the idea of spending a day alone with Costia but she quickly warmed up to the other woman and Lexa honestly couldn't be happier for her.

Lexa huffs as she shuts one of her economic books and before she can open another, the door buzzes, calling for her attention. She does a quick peek out the window and sees Raven and Costia back from their outing. She quickly buzzes them up, doing her best to tidy up.

"Hi Monkey," Lexa greets her daughter. "Did you have a good day?"

"I did! Costia took me to see a movie and let me get the big popcorn!"

Lexa notices the way Costia flinches when Raven refers to her by her name and not as her mother, but she quickly recovers and smiles her way instead.

"She did? Well you must have been pretty good if she let you get the big one!"

"I was," Raven beams. The younger Woods continues to shuck off her shoes and coat before running into her room to grab some toys.

"She give you too much trouble?" Lexa asks beckoning Costia to take a seat. They've become cordial, what with working together and spending more time with Raven.

"Not at all," Costia smiles. "She's an amazing kid. You did such an amazing job with her Lexa."

Lexa can hear the sadness in her voice, but she doesn't acknowledge it, "She's what I'm most proud of," Lexa replies. "She's taken to you nicely, which is saying a lot," she laughs. "She doesn't do well with new people."

Hearing that makes Costia smile. Lexa looks at her watch and realizes it's close to dinner time and hasn't begun preparations at all.

"Well I guess it's takeout for dinner," Lexa says. Costia taking that as her cue, zips her coat back up and prepares to leave. "Costia, you can stay. If you'd like. I'm sure Raven would love to have you here."

Costia looks hesitant at first but Lexa's eyes that she once fell for make her feel warm inside and the idea of spending the night with Raven and her make her happy.

"I'd love to stay," Costia says, unzipping her coat and taking a seat. "So what are we ordering?"

"PIZZA! I WANT PIZZA!" An excited Raven says bouncing out of her room! "Mommy, can we order pizza please?" She says giving Lexa her best sad face.

"Anything for you Monkey, should we take Costia to your favorite place?"

"Yeah! Come on Costia, you're gonna love it!" Raven says tugging at her, already putting on her boots and jacket.

"Slow down sweetie, I'm coming!" Costia laughs and for the first time in days, Lexa smiles. This isn't the idea of family she hoped to have when Costia first told her she was pregnant, but seeing Raven so happy with her is what makes her melt. The only thing missing, well she can't think about that right now.

* * *

 

The girls make the short walk to Raven's favorite pizza place and while they wait Raven drags Costia to the claw machine and Lexa allows her knowing that Costia is going to be a sucker for her and give her as many quarters as she wants until she wins something.

Lexa keeps an eye on Raven while she shoots Octavia a text informing her of their plans.

 **Octavia:** She doing okay?

 **Lexa:** I think she really has changed.

 **Octavia:** Lex, you don't still have feelings for her do you?

Lexa frowns at Octavia's question. Costia was her first big love, but despite everything, she doesn't think that girl could ever be anything than a friend anymore.

 **Lexa:** No. She isn't the one.

 **Octavia:** I love you.

 **Lexa:** Love you too, O.

Lexa hears her number being called and quickly makes her way up front to grab the extra large pizza and side of breadsticks and when she turns to leave she almost takes out the person next to her.

"I'm so sorry!" She says.

"Oh it's no - Lexa."

That voice. Lexa closes her eyes and when she reopens them blue stars are looking into hers.

"Clarke. You look well."

_Really Lexa...You look well?_

"So do you, I -"

"Hey Lex, do you need help carrying that stuff or.."

"Costia," Clarke says with a strained voice.

"Clarke, it's lovely to see you again," Costia says giving her a genuine smile. "Lexa, let me grab those from you, Raven and I will wait outside," Costia says, quickly leaving the girls alone.

"So, that's a thing," Clarke says and Lexa can feel the hurt in her voice.

"We're just having dinner Clarke, not that it's any of your business," Lexa snarls and she knows she shouldn't but seeing the blonde again just brings back all the hurt she's tried so hard to conceal over the past few weeks. "You decided it was none of your business if you remember correctly," Lexa says accentuating the last word making Clarke cringe.

"Right," Clarke says pursing her lips. "I'll just let you go then," Clarke replies waving to the space next to her that would let Lexa through.

"It is what you do best," Lexa replies and before Clarke can retort with anything a familiar person appears next to her.

Niylah.

"Oh, hello Lexa," the nurse says. Lexa takes in their appearances and the proximity between the two girls and looks at Clarke raising her eyebrows.

"You two have a good night," Lexa says before leaving and Clarke so desperately wants to run after her and tell her she still cares but she doesn't. Instead she follows Niylah to their table and puts on her best face as she tries to enjoy this date, if she can even call it that anymore.

* * *

 

"Thank you for letting me stay," Costia says exiting Raven's room. "And for letting me put her to bed."

"Thank you for wanting to," Lexa says. "I'm glad you took this opportunity Costia."

"I know it's not easy for you either Lex..." Costia takes a seat on the couch opposite of Lexa in order to see her properly. "Clarke, you two..."

"It's over," Lexa says. "She um, she ended things when she found you'd be around more, for Raven's sake."

Costia looks sad, "I'm so sorry Lexa, I never wanted to cause -" but Lexa waves her off. "It's not your fault Costia. The timing isn't the most ideal, but Clarke put Raven first in this situation and as much as it hurts me, I don't blame her."

"Lexa..." Lexa looks up to the other girl, "You are so amazing Lex...If I could go back in time and change everything, I would," Costia says taking the other girl's hand in hers.

"Please don't say that Costia," Lexa whispers. "I wouldn't want things any other way. You know, it took me a long time to heal from you. Sometimes I don't know if I'll ever fully heal. When I look at Raven, there's so much of you in her, I'm not her birth mother and nothing will change that."

"Lexa, you're more her mother than I ever will be, but in time I hope to be just as good."

Lexa smiles, "I hope you will be too."

The girls enjoy a comfortable silence until Costia's phone rings and she politely excuses herself to take the call in the kitchen. She joins Lexa in the living room with an expression that Lexa can't quite read, it's been years after all.

"Is everything okay?" Lexa asks.

"Yeah, that was Finn. He just let me know me that my transfer would be coming sooner than we thought," Costia says looking almost devastated.

"Oh Costia, I'm sorry."

She shakes her head, "It's quite alright. I mean it's just relocating me back home to TonDC, so it's not too far plus Jess will probably be thrilled that I -" Costia stops herself.

"So there's a Jess?" Lexa asks, quite amused and Costia blushes.

"There's a Jess. There's been a Jess for quite some time now...We're actually, well we're engaged. I'm a bit embarrassed to say that I hid it from you, I thought it might impede on you letting me get to know Raven," Costia barely whispers before sliding on her ring.

"Never, she's still your kid Costia, I'd never take that away from you. I'm happy for you C, really."

Costia smiles at the nickname before throwing herself into Lexa's arms for a hug, "Thank you so much for everything Lexa."

"Thank you for wanting that door open with Raven."

"I'm glad it's there and with you. I know things won't ever be the same between us but, you were once my best friend Lexa, I won't pass up the chance to get to know you again."

"I'm happy to hear that," Lexa follows Costia to the door and hugs her one more time before saying goodbye. "TonDC isn't too far, so make sure you visit okay? Raven will insist."

"I have two more days here, so perhaps we can all get dinner?"

"We'd love to, goodnight Costia," Lexa shuts the door behind her and smiles. Everything seemed to be okay for everyone, everyone but her. Lexa quietly makes her way into Raven's room and drops a gentle kiss on her forehead, careful not to wake her up and it isn't until Lexa's in the safety of her bed that she allows herself to cry over the blue-eyed girl she saw earlier that evening.

* * *

 

"You know, this happens to more people than you think."

"Not to me it doesn't," Clarke says with a pout. "I've never...I'm sorry. I just don't think I can do this."

Clarke holds the sheet close to her body as she searches for her clothes, she slips on her jeans and shirt with ease and turns to face an already clothed Niylah.

"Niylah, I'm sorry. I just, I can't do this. I thought I could but -"

"But you're kind of preoccupied with another brunette," the nurse laughs. "It's okay Clarke, I knew it was probably too soon to ask you out anyways."

Clarke shakes her head, "Well, thanks for understanding I guess?" Clarke laughs too.

"Always, you were a friend first and you'll still be a friend after this," Niylah smiles.

"Thanks Niylah, I'll see myself out," Clarke gives her a smile before quickly grabbing the rest of her belongings and jumping into a cab to call Anya.

_"This better be good Griffin, Kane was just about to give me the or -"_

"Please don't finish that sentence!" Clarke squeals. "I just left Niylah's," she says blushing.

 _"Oh shit, Kane get off."_ Clarke rolls her eyes hearing mumbling in the background. _"Sorry, so continue!"_

"I ran into Lexa at that pizza place on Fargo and ugh, she was there with Costia and she saw me with Niylah and ugh!" Clarke exclaims, alarming her cab driver but mouths a quick sorry to him before continuing her call.

_"Oh babe..."_

"I know but it gets worse," Clarke replies, shutting her eyes. "I went back to Niylah's and we were you know...and I couldn't..."

 _"You couldn't kiss her?"_ Anya teases. _"Couldn't...bring the cattle home? Couldn't open the gates to heaven?"_

"Anya, will you please..."

_"So you couldn't give her the big o? Who cares!"_

"NO ANYA, I COULDN'T COME! Oh god!" Clarke is blushing and she silently thanks the cab driver for not looking into his rearview mirror.

 _"Oh fuck,"_ Anya says. _"Clarke, I'll be home in ten okay? We'll talk then."_

The blonde shakes her head, "No Ahn, it's okay. Stay with Gustus, I think I just need to be alone tonight. I'll see you in the morning."

_"I love you blondie."_

"Love you too."

The cab pulls in front of Clarke's apartment, she thanks him and tips him enough to cover three more cab rides before running up the steps into the safety of her building. Clarke quickly undresses and grabs the sweater she's been sleeping in for weeks and settles herself into bed. She takes in the fading scent of the old soccer hoodie sporting the name Woods on the back and Clarke lays in bed hoping for dreams of the green-eyed brunette and the younger girl she's come to love as well.

* * *

 

The next day Lexa wakes up to the smell of coffee and the sound of her daughter giggling. Octavia must be over and when Lexa trudges into the kitchen, she knows she's right.

"Morning Commander," Octavia smiles handing her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," Lexa replies after taking a sip. "Good morning to you Monkey," she says throwing a smile in her daughter's direction.

"Morning Mama!" Raven says barely looking up from her current Lego creation.

"So Costia's leaving tomorrow," Lexa says turning her attention to Octavia. "And before you start, it's not because of what you think. She's being relocated back to TonDC to finish up that re-brand, she'll be going back home to her job and her fiance, Jess."

"A fiance?" Octavia asks sounding quite surprised. "Well I didn't see that one coming."

"Neither did I, but she seems to be better O. I'm kind of proud of her."

"I'm proud of you too," Octavia replies. "Have you told the kid yet?"

Lexa shakes her head, "Costia's going to pick her up from school today and take her to dinner to tell her. We're going to figure out some sort of visitation schedule, as long as Raven is up for it."

Octavia places her hand on Lexa's shoulder, "You're doing the right thing."

"I know," Lexa smiles before clapping her hands together and getting Raven ready for school.

* * *

 

"Raven?" The younger Woods looks up to find Dr. Anya looking at her with a confused look.

"Hi Dr. Anya," Raven greets her as casual as can be.

"Raven, what are you doing here? Are you okay? Where's your mom?" Anya asks with more concern as she scans the waiting room of the hospital's ER.

"I'm okay. I just fell at the park with Costia," Raven says pointing at the brunette next to her and Anya immediately stands up straighter extending her hand.

"Dr. Triku," Anya says shaking Costia's hand. "Why don't I take you two to the back, see what we can do, okay?" Anya says her eyes softening when she glances at Raven.

"We'd like that very much, thank you," Costia replies. "Let me just call Lexa and let her know we're being seen."

Anya nods taking Raven's hand in hers as she escorts the younger Woods to a bed in the back to better assess her.

"So what happened Raven?" the doctor asks rolling Raven's pants up to get a better look at her injury.

"I was running and jumping into piles of leaves with Costia and I hurt my knee on a rock," Raven winces recalling her accident. "There was a lot of blood," Raven whispers.

"Well you are quite the trooper Raven, but it looks like we're gonna have to get you some stitches again."

Raven's eyes light up, "COOL! Will they be like the ones on my head?" Raven says pointing to the barely visible scar on her forehead.

Anya laughs, "Yeah just like that kid. Sit tight okay and eat this," Anya says handing her a lollipop. "I'll go find Costia and let her know what's up."

Raven flashes her the thumbs up sign and quickly unwraps the lollipop. Anya pulls the sheet closed around the bed and Raven, whose attention span is quite small at the moment finds herself humming the words to another catchy Taylor Swift song. Raven's humming gets louder and then she hears a voice she hasn’t heard in quite awhile.

"Niylah told me she was here, let me see her," Clarke demands.

"Clarke, I don't think that's a good idea, Costia's here with her."

There's a moment of silence but through the shadows of the curtain, Raven can see the blonde doctor shaking her head before another voice calls out.

"Clarke, if you'd like to see her, you can."

The two doctors turn around to see Costia standing there obviously intimidated by the girls before her. "Please, you can see her, as long as her injuries aren't too severe that need attention now," she says directing that statement to Anya who nods in disagreement.

"She just needs some stitches, but Clarke can take care of them,” Anya replies. “If that’s okay with you,” Clarke adds.

Costia nods and lets the girls know she’ll be outside waiting for Lexa if they need anything. Anya nods and pulls back the curtain to Raven’s station and gesturing for Clarke to follow her.

“Hey kid, Clarke’s going to help stitch you up if that’s okay?” Anya asks. Raven looks between both doctors, tears threatening to spill from her eyes but never do. She nods silently and Anya gives her a tight-lipped smile before leaving the two of them alone.

“Hey Monkey,” Clarke greets her.

“Hi Dr. Clarke,” Raven replies and Clarke tries not to wince at the formality and instead focus on her task at hand. “So how’d this happen?” Clarke asks, referring to Raven’s knee.

“I fell."

“Well it looks like it’ll be a quick recovery for you and we already both know that you’re a pretty brave kid, right?"

Raven nods.

Clarke decides not to speak for the rest of their time together, she doesn’t quite understand what the girl is going through but she knows better than to push her, she’s a lot like her mother in that way. Clarke’s putting the finishing touches on Raven’s stitches when the girl speaks.

“Dr. Clarke…” Clarke pauses what she’s doing and looks into the brown eyes she’s missed that look so empty. “Do you not want me anymore?"

Clarke feels like someone’s punched her in the gut. She gently places her tools down on the table beside her and places her hands in her lap. She’s at a loss for words but Raven doesn’t seem to understand, so instead she speaks again.

“Costia left me and Mama too…” Raven starts to cry. “Did I, did I do something wrong?"

Clarke meets Raven’s eyes and both girls find themselves with tears in their eyes.

“Raven, I…Of course you didn’t do anything wrong. I care about you and your Mama so much,” Clarke tries to hold back her tears even more but it’s useless when Raven speaks up again. “I miss you Clarke. Mama’s sad too."

“She is?"

“She doesn’t sing _Frozen_ with me anymore, not like you used to and she cries a lot. She thinks I don’t know but I have that supersonic hearing like Auntie O says."

That makes Clarke smile, but the sad face on Raven’s face brings her back down.

“Raven, can I hug you?"

The brunette answers her by throwing herself into the doctor’s arms, her tears slowly staining Clarke’s scrubs but she doesn’t care. Raven feels good to hold again, she smells like Lexa, she smells like the home she almost had.

“Well aren’t we a sight for sore eyes,” Clarke chuckles and her stomach flip flops in a good way when Raven laughs at her comment too. The girls break apart and the smile on Raven’s face just makes Clarke melt. “What do you say we clean you up and go wait for you Mom?"

Raven nods and continues to eat her lollipop while telling Clarke about what dumb boy Wicky did at school again and to Clarke it almost felt normal. Almost.

* * *

 

Clarke finished cleaning Raven up a lot sooner than she would have liked. She missed spending time with the younger girl, but she patted the girl on her uninjured knee and gave Raven another lollipop for being so great.

As she pulled back the curtain to bring Raven back to Costia, Raven grabbed Clarke’s hand instinctively and Clarke was so distracted by the gesture that she almost barreled into the the woman standing outside of the curtain. The woman being Lexa.

“Hi Mama!”

“Hey Monkey, how you doing?"

“Clarke fixed me right up like she always does!” Clarke smiles down at the girl trying to avoid Lexa’s gaze.

“Well it’s easy to do when I get to spend it with my favorite patient."

Raven hugs Clarke’s legs and Clarke bends down to give her a proper hug.

“I still love you Clarke,” Raven whispers as she throws her arms around Clarke’s neck.

“I’ll always love you Raven."

Lexa watches the interaction and there’s part of her that can’t deny how happy she is to see Raven like this. It’s the brightest she’s seen her since Clarke’s left, it’s probably the brightest they’ve both felt in awhile.

Lexa clears her throat and Clarke gently puts Raven down to join her mother.

“Thank you Clarke, I’m glad it was you that fixed her up."

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she replies still unable to meet Lexa’s gaze. “The nurse up front will discharge Raven and you guys should be good to go,” Clarke says putting her professional face back on. Lexa turns to where Clarke is pointing and sees it’s Niylah working up front, Clarke sensing what’s going through Lexa’s head speaks up.

“Hey Raven, Dr. Anya told me she might have something for you. Why don’t you go grab it? She’s in that room over there."

Raven nods excitedly but before running to her surprise she looks up at her mother asking for permission. Lexa smiles and lets her go, leaving the two girls alone.

“So Niylah and I -"

“No need to explain Clarke,” Lexa says cutting her off watching the door Raven just entered hoping to see her soon.

“No, it’s not that. We’re not together. What you saw the other day, it wasn’t what you think."

“So it wasn’t a date?"

“Well no, it was but -"

“Then I don’t understand why you’re trying to explain or why it even matters Clarke."

“Lexa, can we just,” Clarke looks around before yanking Lexa into a supply closet across the hall. “Lexa, I need to -"

“Shut up Clarke,” Lexa yanks the blonde towards her crashing their lips together. It takes a second for the blonde to register what’s happening but then she finds herself reciprocating. Lexa shoves her against the door, the doorknob is sure to leave a bruise on Clarke’s back but she doesn’t care. Lexa runs her tongue over Clarke’s lips and the blonde immediately opens herself up to her. She tries to pull Lexa closer to her but it only makes Lexa pull away. Both girls eyes are wanton with lust, Lexa grabs both of Clarke’s wrists slamming them against the door above the blonde’s head. Clarke moans and then Lexa’s lips are back on hers, hungry, wanting and needing to taste Clarke. Lexa slips her leg between Clarke’s and instinctively the blonde grinds down letting out a small moan.

The kisses become slow, tender even. Lexa relinquishes her hold on Clarke’s hands and instead go to cup her face. Clarke takes a risk again in placing her hands on Lexa’s waist to pull the girl closer and this time Lexa doesn’t push her away.

Each kiss is laced with words they haven’t had to say in months.

Kiss. _I miss you._

Kiss. _I need you._

Kiss. _You hurt me._

Lexa doesn’t realize she’s crying until Clarke goes to wipe her cheek and that’s when whatever spell they’ve been under breaks. Lexa backs away and looks at the other girl. Her hair’s disheveled, cheeks flushed and her eyes…sad.

“Lexa, we should talk."

“I have to go, thank you again Clarke.”

Lexa exits and Clarke hears her thank Anya on the other side of the door. The blonde unable to move sinks to the floor and cries. She has no idea how she got here, all she knows is where she wants to be instead.


	12. XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12 takes place 2 months after the last chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say thank you for everyone's kind words and thoughts, it truly means a lot. I wanted to upload this next chapter in its entirety but I honestly just sort of hit a wall, so I ended it at a place I think you'll all enjoy.
> 
> I promise I won't leave you guys hanging so long again, thanks again.
> 
> xx

If you asked Lexa five years ago where she thought she'd be in life right now, she'd probably say she'd be happily married to Costia, a college graduate and raising her wonderful daughter, Raven.

But sometimes things just don't go as planned.

Raven's five years old now and Lexa's raising her alone, along with the support of close friends. She's the furthest thing from married, but today, today Lexa becomes a college graduate.

"Knock, knock."

Lexa catches Octavia's eye in the mirror and gives her a smile as she runs her hands down the front of her graduation gown getting out any last minute kinks.

"I'm so proud of you," O says.

"Don't go soft on me now O."

"Never, you're still an ass but not you're just going to be a college educated ass."

"You ready?"

"More than I've ever been," Lexa replies following her best friend out into the living room where the rest of her friends and family await.

"Mama you look so beautiful!"

"Thanks monkey, let's just hope I don't trip in these!" Lexa says raising one of her legs to show off her heels. "So, shall we?"

* * *

Her college graduation is everything she thought it would be. Long, boring and tiresome, and having the last name Woods didn't make matters any easier either, but thankfully they were nearing the end. She's getting antsy waiting for her name to be called but then Lexa's row is rising and making its way to the stage. The brunette tries her best to avoid looking where she knows her family is and focuses on the task at hand.

Three more people to go.

Two.

One.

"Alexandria Woods."

Lexa takes a deep breath and struts onto the stage, her hand extending to the Dean to accept her diploma holder while her family hoots and hollers cheering her on. And when she hears the loud cry of, "GO MAMA!" Lexa can't help but smile with pride toward her daughter and that's when she sees her.

A flash of wavy blonde hair making a quick exit, after that the rest of the ceremony goes by in a blur.

* * *

When the ceremony ends, Lexa quickly drops off her gown and makes her way to meet her family and is immediately greeted by everyone, even Costia and her fiance Jess. It's been two months now since Costia moved back to TonDC and the relationship between Costia and Raven has never been stronger and in that time, Lexa has been able to heal as well.

"Congratulations Lexa, I'm so proud of you," Costia says hugging the brunette. "Thanks Cos, now where's my monkey!"

"Congratulations Mama! You looked so pretty up there, you didn't even trip! How awesome was that?!" Raven replies launching herself into her mother's arms.

"Super awesome babe."

"Okay, okay! Enough of this, photo time please!" Octavia says trying to reign everyone in. She grabs a random stranger and hands them her camera, insisting that they get AT LEAST three different photos of everyone as a group, followed by family photos and at the end of it Lexa's face hurt from smiling so much because for the first time in a long time she feels happy.

* * *

Octavia and Lincoln close down the bar for the day to celebrate Lexa's accomplishment, it's a small gathering but Lexa doesn't mind. She prefers it this way.

She's sitting at the bar, nursing a beer when Costia slides onto the stool next to her.

"So, how does it feel?"

Lexa smiles, "Honestly? Amazing. I still can't believe it."

"You know there isn't a die that goes by that I don't hate myself for what I did to you...and Raven."

Lexa starts to shake her head but Costia cuts her off. "No listen Lex, your entire life has been turned upside down because of my actions, and while I don't regret what happened because I mean, look at your life, you've raised an amazing kid and you have so many people that love you," Lexa smiles at that. "I regret breaking you and the progress you were making for your career but I am so fucking proud of you Lex. Your parents, they would be so fucking proud."

Lexa doesn't realize she's tearing up until Costia's pulling her into a hug, her own tears staining the graduate's shirt and finally Lexa feels free from their past and the actions that haunted them both.

"For the record Cos, I do forgive you. I'm happy you came around and Raven loves you, she really does and Jess, I don't know how you landed her but she's great. I'm happy for you too."

"So what about Clarke?"

"She was there today."

"I know."

Lexa throws her a curious look, "You know?"

"I told her to come."

"Cost -"

"She still cares about you and I know you still care about her and maybe with a little communication, you guys can work it out."

"She left us."

Costia winces knowing she's the reason for so much of Lexa's insecurities but she does her best to hide it, "All I'm saying is, when you're ready, give her another chance. Look how it worked out for us."

Costia tips her beer towards Lexa in salute and leaves the brunette to her thoughts and joins Raven over at the jukebox.

"She's changed."

Lexa's attention shifts to Lincoln behind the bar.

"Even Octavia admits it and you know she hates being wrong."

"Thanks Linc," Lexa smiles. "But something gives me the impression that you have more to say."

He shrugs sliding Lexa another beer, "I just think you owe it to yourself to start living for you. Since Raven, your life has been for her, everything you do is for her and it isn't a bad thing, every parent should put their kid first."

"But?" Lexa asks waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"But look around," Lincoln gestures towards their guests and Lexa's eyes follow and she really takes a look at everyone there. Bellamy, Aurora, O, Jess, Costia, Cage. "These people love you and like you, they would do anything for Raven. You're never going to be alone in that and because of that, sometimes it's okay to take a step back a bit and put yourself first. Life should be more than just surviving Lex. You deserve more."

"And what would you have in mind?"

"It's more who, than what really."

Lexa sighs, "It isn't that easy Linc..."

"It is, call her," he slides a phone to her. "Just see what happens." Lexa hesitates but one look at Raven and then back to Lincoln she bites the bullet, grabs the phone and steps outside.

Her finger hovers over the call button, every time she feels somewhat ready to hit it she stops herself.

"Come on, just do it," she whispers to herself. "Just push call her."

She doesn't know if it's pride that's stopping her or if she really is just scared but she finally fights off whatever is holding her back and calls. And in a very anti-climatic fashion, the phone goes straight to voicemail, which usually indicates that Clarke's at work.

"Oh fuck it," Lexa shoots a text to Octavia telling her she'll be back and heads off in the direction of the hospital.

* * *

"Clarke, go home. I can handle the rest of your patients."

The blonde's head is buried in a pile of paperwork to keep herself busy of course, but Anya's suggestion is pretty tempting. She signs off on one last document and tosses the folder to her completed pile.

"Are you sure?"

"For the fifteenth time, yes I'm sure. You need to go home. There's whiskey in freezer, wine in the cupboard and tons of chips in the pantry. Go home Clarke."

Clarke smiles, "Well if you insist. Thanks Ahn, I owe you one."

"You owe me many but just because I love you, I won't bring Gustus home with me tonight and stay at his place instead."

"Much appreciated, I'll see you tomorrow," Clarke gives Anya a quick kiss on the cheek and heads to change out of her scrubs before going home for the day. She's headed towards the locker room but a voice catches her by surprise and it's no mistaking who it belongs to. She quickly peers around the corner and without a doubt, there stands Lexa Woods, in all her glory speaking to...none other than Niylah.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Clarke whispers to herself, completely unprepared to see or even speak to Lexa again after their last encounter.

"Dr. Griffin is actually about to head home for the day," Niylah tells the brunette but Lexa doesn't hear her because her eyes are burning into Clarke's and walking towards her.

"Clarke."

"Lexa."

The two take each other's appearance in. Time obviously having weathered them both but neither girl can deny the attraction, the spark that still exists between them, even after months without each other.

"I was wondering if I -"

"Congratulations on your -"'

They both blush slightly, "Please, go ahead Clarke."

"If you're here because of earlier...I'm sorry, I just...I just wanted to see you walk across that stage, you worked so hard and I'm still so proud of you."

There's nothing disingenuous about Clarke's statement, her eyes never leaving Lexa's and her body language more relaxed than ever.

"Clarke, can I walk you home?"

Clarke's stunned. Out of all the scenarios the doctor's envisioned in her head of seeing and speaking with Lexa again, this wasn't one of them.

"You. Sorry, what?"

"Would you mind if I walked you home? I'd very much like to talk, if you would like?"

Lexa's struggling to let her walls down and Clarke has never seen her this small before and really when has she ever been able to say no to Lexa?

"Meet me out front in 5?"

Lexa gives her a small smile and nods.

* * *

"Not to be nosy or anything but don't you have a graduation party you should be at?" Clarke asks as the girls walk on the familiar route from Clarke's work to her home.

"I did, yeah..."

"So not that I'm complaining but why are you here?"

"Because life should be more than just surviving."

"What are you talking about?"

Lexa stops and lightly tugs at Clarke's wrist to face her sending a spark through Clarke's body having missed the other girl's touch for so long.

"Maybe I'm too late but I...I wanted to apologize. I just," Lexa begins to pace and Clarke trying not to giggle at how adorable Lexa's being, lets her continue but after seeing Lexa unable to say anything Clarke makes the move to tug Lexa inside, the brunette not even realizing they'd arrived at Clarke's apartment.

Once they're in the safety of doctor's apartment Lexa doesn't hold back. She's grabbing Clarke by the wrist and tugging her towards her, lips softly touching hers and just like that they're kissing.

Clarke's shocked at first but her lips soon find a steady rhythm against Lexa's as her hands go to cup the brunette's face to bring her even closer. They volley back and forth between heated and more tender kisses. Words left unsaid over the last few months, spilling from their lips. Lexa tugs again moving Clarke towards the kitchen counter and Lexa lifts the blonde up with ease, whose legs automatically wrap around Lexa's body.

Clarke takes Lexa's bottom lip into her mouth and sucks eliciting a brutal groan from Lexa and Clarke can't take it anymore. She moves back just a bit to shed the shirt she's wearing, leaving Lexa a wanton mess for all but 15 seconds and then her lips are back on hers while Lexa's hands explore the blonde's body.

Clarke moans Lexa's name when her hands go to grope her chest, her core's aching and Clarke needs more. More Lexa and fast. "Lexa," her voice is raspy and Lexa needs to hear it again, so she unclasps Clarke's bra and takes one of her already peaked nipples into her mouth. "Oh fuck, Lexa!" Clarke throws her head back and that's what does it for the brunette.

She lifts Clarke once again by the thighs and moves them quickly down the hall to Clarke's room. She lays her down gently and kisses her way down to Clarke's waist, her tongue slowly dipping beneath the waistband of her jeans leaving Clark panting and slightly bucking her hips. Lexa leaves her for just a second taking her shirt, bra and pants off leaving her in nothing but a black pair of boy shorts and Clarke's mouth goes dry.

"Beautiful," she whispers and Lexa blushes. The two girls exchange looks, holding each others' gaze in a way that only lovers would understand. Clarke gives her a small nod, giving Lexa the consent she needs to keep going and Lexa slowly lowers herself above Clarke, kissing her in the most tender way possible. Clarke slips her tongue into Lexa's mouth, just slightly to get the girl to open up, while Lexa's hands move to caress Clarke's breasts, squeezing them softly and running her fingers over her nipples.

"Are you sure?" Lexa whispers.

"Yes. I want you Lexa. Please."

Both girls know Clarke's not just talking about sex, there's more laced into that statement and Lexa wants every bit of it as much as Clarke does. Lexa's hands move lower as her kisses move to Clarke's neck. Her fingers finally making its way to Clarke's jeans, unzipping them and quickly helping her out of them and her ruined underwear.

Lexa starts a slow trail of kisses from Clarke's left leg towards her inner thigh while her other hand massages Clarke's right leg, driving the blonde mad. As the brunette nears the other girl's center she whispers, "Look at me Clarke." When their eyes lock, Lexa swipes her tongue thoroughly through Clarke's folds and relishes in the way the blonde suppresses the need to shut her eyes and instead keeps her eye contact with the girl ravishing her.

Lexa builds a steady pace, alternating between light and hard swipes of her tongue while her thumb slowly works Clarke's clit. Lexa can tell she's close by the way Clarke's body reacts to her movements so without warning she enter two fingers into her and replaces her thumb with her tongue to help bring Clarke closer.

"Yes, please...Lexa," Clarke whines, one hand fisting the sheets, the other pinching her nipple. "More Lexa." The brunette obliges, sucking the girl's clit while her fingers pump in and out of her at a tender pace.

Lexa feels it before she hears it. Clarke's clamping down on her fingers so hard it's almost impossible for Lexa to keep thrusting so she picks up the pace with her tongue and seconds later Clarke's crying out Lexa's name as she rides out her high. Clarke slightly nudges Lexa's shoulder when the sensations become too much for her. Lexa slowly retracts herself from the other girl and takes her fingers into her mouth, tasting Clarke once more before taking a spot next to the blonde on the bed.

"So you wanted to talk?" Clarke asks and both girls start to laugh.

"I do, yes."

Clarke rolls her eyes at Lexa's vagueness and grabs the throw blanket at the end of the bed to cover them both.

"I made a mistake Lexa," Clarke beings. "I should have never made the decision for you but I hope you know that I was only acting in the best interest of Raven. She deserves to know who her other mother is."

"You were right."

The brunette's response takes Clarke by surprise.

"I was?"

Lexa laughs and God does Clarke miss that sound. "Raven and Costia have a wonderful relationship, and I'm even surprised that Costia and I were able to mend what was left of our friendship. And I hate to say it, but I don't think this would have been possible if you and I had continued."

"So what now?" Clarke asks.

Lexa sits up slightly, her hand holding her head up, her brown curls rounding out her face. "Now, I survive for more than just Raven. I survive for myself and maybe one day I'll survive for you too Clarke."

Clarke's eyes light up with something Lexa has never seen before giving her the confidence to kiss her.

"I want this Clarke," Lexa whispers against her lips before kissing her again. "I want the late night call shifts, the early morning wake up calls, the off-key singing, I want every part of you."

"Lexa," the brunette pauses and pulls back slightly at the sound of her name. "I love you," Clarke thinks maybe she's spooked her, the room is silent for a bit but then Lexa's lips are planting urgent kisses on hers and the brunette is straddling her once more. Clarke's about to pull forward for another kiss when Lexa pulls back.

"I don't want you to think that I don't feel as strongly for you Clarke because I do. I'm just not...The last time I said those words to someone - "

Clarke sits up and pulls the girl closer to her. Their lips just barely grazing each other.

"It takes as long as it takes Lexa, but I just couldn't go another day without tell you that."

Clarke pulls her into a kiss and Lexa smiles against it. Clarke loves her. Clarke Griffin fucking loves her.


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is here, I truly hope you guys like it. I wracked my brain on how best to end this and I'm honestly very happy with this, so I hope you are too. I know it's short, but I think it really does the characters justice and keep them true to who they are and how I envision them. Thanks for being with me on this ride. 
> 
> Cheers.

The new graduate wakes up to a mouthful of blonde hair, nothing she hasn’t experienced in the past but it still comes as a surprise to her. She hears the gentle snoring of the girl next to her and the brunette can’t help but smile at the annoyingly comforting noise. She closes her eyes again and lets the moment completely wash over her because for once she didn’t feel guilty or wrong…It felt right, it felt like home.

“You’re thinking to loud,” the body next to her groans.

“How could you possibly know that, Clarke?” And the blonde shivers at the sound of her name coming from the other girl.

“Because I know you,” Clarke says grabbing the blanket to cover her as she sits up, propping her arm up to support her hand to look at the other girl. “I know you.”

“You know me,” Lexa replies opening her eyes and turning to the girl.

“I do, and I bet you’re wondering what you did to land such a hot babe in bed,” Clarke smirks.

“You wouldn’t be wrong, but -“

“But? There’s a but?”

“But I was wondering what I did to have an amazing woman like you love me.”

Clarke softens and lets her gaze roam over the parts of Lexa still unsheathed from the blanket, “How about I show you instead?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that at all.”

Two showings of how much Clarke loves Lexa and one shower later, the two finally find it in them to leave the bedroom. Clarke and Lexa dance around each other in the blonde’s apartment as they settle on some breakfast and Clarke can’t help but think of how seemingly normal their behavior is and she finds herself wondering what her life was before all of this.

“Lexa, can I ask you something?”

“Hm?” The other girl hums in reply as she finishes up their eggs.

“We’re dating, right? Like last night wasn’t just a fluke and you’re going to be my girlfriend and I’ll get to have Raven back in my life?”

Lexa most definitely wasn’t expecting that to come out of the blonde’s mouth but she’s not mad about it either.

“You should know by now that the last thing I’m going to do is leave after I just got you back. Raven and I will be yours for as long as you want us to be, Clarke.”

Clarke smiles, grabbing Lexa by the face to pull her into a crushing kiss leaving all thoughts of breakfast behind because Lexa might not have said the words aloud but Clarke knows deep down, Lexa Woods loves her too.

**xx**

“You ready for this?” Lexa asks as her and Clarke stare up at the brunette’s apartment building.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment for forever,” Clarke replies gently squeezing her hand. The two share a sweet kiss, a moment that’s just theirs, before entering the apartment building and jumping into the elevator.

Sure enough as they pull up to the Lexa’s floor, there’s a familiar waft of coffee filling the hallway and what sounds like Frozen playing on the television and Clarke already can’t contain her excitement as she tugs Lexa towards the door. The second it opens three familiar faces are staring back at them but the brightest of them all is Raven’s.

“CLARKE!” She yells jumping off the couch and into the other girl’s arms, who already stooped down ready and waiting for the young girl.

“Clarke, I missed you so much,” Raven says dipping her head into the crook of Clarke’s neck and Lexa doesn’t miss the way Octavia smiles.

“Oh, I missed you too, monkey,” Clarke replies trying not to cry.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Clarke hears over her shoulder and Raven lifts her head to simply say, “No, you’re my mommy, duh,” and the apartment erupts into laughter.

The girls get settled inside while Octavia and Lincoln finish getting breakfast ready and once it is they all clamber around the dining room table talking about what happened at the graduation party after Lexa left. Not much to Lexa’s surprise the karaoke machine was pulled out at some point and everyone was coerced into singing their favorite Disney song because really, who could deny the charm of Raven Woods?

No one.

**xx**

After that morning, Clarke and Lexa are practically inseparable. Call it making up for lost time or whatever you’d like but to the two of them and those that knew them, it was solidifying an unspoken future so it really should have come as no surprise when Raven during dinner flat out asks if they’re girlfriends again, causing Lexa to choke on some of her spaghetti.

“So are you two kissing and stuff again?” Raven asks, chomping on a piece of garlic bread.

Lexa coughs and Clarke does her best to stifle her laugh.

“Would that be okay, Raven?” Clarke asks.

“Yeah but just not in front of me okay? It’s gross. Kissing is so weird, Wicky told me he wanted to kiss me and I stomped on his sandcastle,” she says shrugging.

“Raven,” Lexa starts. “You can’t just -“ she struggles to find the words.

“What your mom is trying to say, is that we’re proud of you for not letting Wick kiss you if you didn’t want to be kissed, you’re also too young. But you also can’t just go and knock down his sandcastle.”

“I’m sorry…” Raven mutters.

“You did the right thing kid, just less stomping next time, okay?” Clarke says, noticing the uncertainty in the child’s voice. “Now you wanna help me make some ice cream sundaes?”

“YEAH BUT LET’S MAKE IT LIKE A VOLCANO AND HAVE IT EXPLODE WITH CHOCOLATE SYRUP!”

Before Lexa can even warn her daughter not to do such a thing she realizes she’s the only one at the dinner table, hearing laughter coming from the kitchen.

“My girls,” Lexa whispers before joining them.

**xx**

Two months go by and suddenly it’s Raven’s pre-school graduation everyone’s attending and Lexa can’t help but beam with pride upon learning that Raven was chosen to lead her classmates in the graduation march.

“Did you pack -“

“Yes babe, I have her camera.”

“And - “

“And the extra film.”

“How about the -“

“Yes, I grabbed the charger for the digital camera, even though we all know you’re going to use your phone to record.”

“Whipped,” Octavia coughs from behind them and Clarke throws her a glare almost as lethal as Lexa’s and the brunette immediately regrets it.

The graduation march starts to play off of an old CD-player and everyone’s eyes go to the door in the back where a row of 20 or so pre-school graduates, some with teeth, some without, start to walk in with none other than the Raven Woods leading the pack. She marches with such conviction and to say Lexa is an emotional mess at watching her daughter is an understatement.

“You’re so screwed Clarke, just wait until this kid graduates from high school or something.”

“I can’t wait,” Clarke says and Lexa is all smiles because she can’t either.

The ceremony is quick and in 20 minutes or so everyone’s lining up to take pictures with the graduate. They go through the traditional family photos you’d take at this kind of thing but it’s the final photo that gets everyone’s attention.

“Uncle Lincoln, can you take one of me and my moms?”

Lincoln looks at Lexa and she nods to him in acknowledgement.

“Come on moms, I’m hungry!”

“Well what are you waiting for? We can’t keep her waiting,” Lexa says pulling Clarke into the picture who has nothing but a look of awe on her face. The three girls situate themselves following Raven’s direction as to how she wants everyone to pose and stand which gives the adults a few seconds to themselves.

“Are you…Are you okay with that?” Clarke asks, knowing Lexa will understand.

“I should be asking you that.”

“I am, I am okay with that,” the blonde replies quickly.

“Good because I am too…She loves you Clarke. We both do,” Clarke looks at the other girl. “I love you, Clarke.”

A flash goes off, the camera revealing the two adults looking at each other with adoring eyes while a young Raven has the widest grin on her face looking up at the both of them.

**xx**

That very same photo eventually finds its way onto the walls of a new home, joining other photos just like it. Ones of Lexa and Clarke smiling at one another when the other doesn’t realize, ones of Raven and Wick playing, ones of Costia and Raven, Lincoln and Octavia’s wedding and the most important one of all, the day of Clarke and Lexa’s wedding where a little bit older Raven stands between her moms holding both of their hands while they look down at her with smiles.

“Hey babe, we’re home,” Clarke hears the clatter of Raven tossing her boots off into the corner and the sound of Lexa hanging up their coats. The blonde takes one last look at the new photo she’s just hung and whispers to herself that it’s just perfect.

“Hi mom,” Raven says greeting her mom with a hug. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m hanging up a new photo,” she replies.

“What is it? Why is it so dark,” Raven replies getting frustrated that she can’t quite figure it out.

“Why’s what so dark?” Lexa asks joining the other girls in the living room.

“Mom hung a new picture but I can’t tell what it is, can you Mama?”

Lexa doesn’t make a sound, her eyes are wide but they quickly soften as she glances at the photo and back to Clarke who cradles her stomach ever so subtly.

“Are you serious?” Lexa asks.

“I am.”

“Really?” she smiles.

“Really, really,” she says gesturing for Lexa to touch her stomach.

“Oh my god, will someone tell me what’s going on?!” Raven asks.

“You’re going to be a big sister,” Clarke answers.

“WHAT?”

“Yeah,” Lexa says with a big smile, grabbing Raven’s hand. “Come feel, your baby brother or sister is in there.”

“Holy shit!”

“Raven!” Both mothers look at their daughter and shake their heads.

“Auntie O?” Clarke asks and Raven nods but it’s hard to be mad when the younger girl proceeds to pet Clarke’s stomach as she whispers to it all the things she’s going to teach her that Auntie O taught her and how awesome their moms are.

And really, could you blame her?

**Fin.**


End file.
